# The Stupidest Conspiracy Theories Of All Time **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2017, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632 "2017-10-12T12:46:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/41 "2017-10-12T19:18:42Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’ve heard it said that the federal government is like your local DMV office, only on a larger scale when it comes to miscommunication and incompetentcy. My local DMV office ROCKS! I almost feel sorry for all the rest of you. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/42 "2017-10-12T19:23:18Z")
My former neighbor’s mother believed that all earthquakes since 1969 were caused by the moon landing. ---
**Author:** ![Falchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Falchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falchion)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/43 "2017-10-12T19:25:23Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > My former neighbor’s mother believed that all earthquakes since 1969 were caused by the moon landing. She believed in the moon landing? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/44 "2017-10-12T19:43:01Z")
> [@TheOtherHalfian](#): > > oh boy, the plases this thread will go Theodore Geisel was a Zionist propagandist. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/45 "2017-10-12T19:43:50Z")
> [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](#): > > I’ve always liked the one about how all world leaders are really shape-shifting reptilian humanoids, pushed most famously by David Icke. \ But, but, this documentary!! [They Live - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_Live) ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/46 "2017-10-12T19:54:51Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > My local DMV office ROCKS! I almost feel sorry for all the rest of you. My DMV is a pit of despair, where souls are harvested and sent to Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/47 "2017-10-12T20:34:06Z")
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > Reading AHunters excellent post (#20), I was reminded of an even more wacky conspiracy that is still clung too: That a young, recently married Hawaiian woman would fly alone to have her baby in a third-world country and then fly back to Hawaii with that baby (by herself, mind you), and then (with family help, one presumes) manage to get a completely valid birth certificate issued in Hawaii…all so the baby could be elected President of the United States 48 years later…as conspiracies go, that is a doozy when you look at it. All of that can be explained by the Obama working with mad scientists on Mars story. It involves time travel. > **[Conspiracy theory: Obama went to Mars as teen](https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna45878146)** > > Forget 2012 prophecies, Mayan calendars and lurking planets that go only by the name “X”… there’s an even kookier conspiracy theory in town, and it has to do with our nation’s fearless leader and his teenage teleportation adventures on Mars. ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/48 "2017-10-12T20:37:52Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Considering that, how could anyone believe that enough of them will conspire together to execute these occurrences without anyone else finding out?? > > In conclusion, the idea that “The Government” is capable of conspiracies is the biggest conspiracy theory of all! I would normally be inclined to agree with you. But having just watched Ken Burns’ “Vietnam War” documentary, it was STAGGERING to find how long the american people were being misled about the “progress” and situation in Vietnam. The recordings played clearly showed that “enough” people (White House) knew what the real situation was, and then would tell outright lies on TV. Maybe not a “conspiracy” per se, but this to me was a clear example of the degree “the government” was capable of deception. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/49 "2017-10-12T20:46:14Z")
I’ll just leave this right here. [Rainbow Conspiracy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c6HsiixFS8) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/50 "2017-10-12T20:47:00Z")
I saw some of that documentary, and it was pretty appalling. I was just a kid for many of those years, and I was still naive enough to believe that the government existed to take care of us. But it’s a different world in a lot of ways and I don’t know that it could happen in the same way today. People seem more willing to leak, or be careless, and then there’s social media, where it’s easy to be anonymous and report about certain things going on. So while small groups may be in cahoots, it’s certainly not “The Government” as a whole. Or is that splitting hairs? In reality, the vast majority of government employees are people trying to pay their bills. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/51 "2017-10-12T20:52:09Z")
For stupidity, it’s hard to beat the theory that Big Pharma, government health agencies, physicians and other health care workers have conspired to cover up the Cure for Cancer so that they can continue to sell lucrative but ineffective drugs and treatments for it.\* Yes, all those millions of people raking in the big bucks are not susceptible to cancer nor do they have relatives and friends with cancer, so they don’t give a rat’s ass. Or they’re employing the Cure in secret so we never know about it. Or the money is just so fabulous that they think it’s worth dying of cancer unnecessarily. We know this is true because we’ve done our Research!!! Someday the truth will be known and boy, they’ll be sorry. :mad: If you prefer a relatively new ravingly loony conspiracy theory, try the one currently being promoted on NaturalNews, to wit: “Secret groups planning false flag “alien” attack to roll out world government”. \*same goes for all sorts of chronic ailments - diabetes, MS, psoriasis, you name it. A Cure exists for all of them but they’re concealing it. There’s all sorts of stuff you can Google on this. ;):rolleyes:;)😕:smack: ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/52 "2017-10-12T20:53:15Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > One of the stupidest conspiracy theories of all time was the whole Satanic Ritual Abuse shit of the 1980’s. Ruined a lot of lives, and there are still people who believe in a world wide network of Satanists doing unspeakable things, and it’s all being covered up. BULLSHIT! My college girlfriend got caught up in that lunacy when she went into psychiatric care, a few years after she and I broke up. Her therapists convinced her (through “recovered memories”) that her parents were satanic cultists, and it created a rift between her and her family that endured for many years. Utterly horrid. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/53 "2017-10-12T21:21:22Z")
My favorite is that the President let the United Nations station silent “black helicopters” and troops all throughout the Ozarks ready to take over the country at the direction of the New World Order, and that “Road Closed by Martial Law” signs were stashed an the loading docks of Wal-Mart stores. The reason I enjoy this one so much is that I first heard it while George H.W. Bush was President, and then again for Clinton, Bush 43 and Obama, making it the most bi-partisan conspiracy EVER. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/54 "2017-10-12T21:33:08Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > “Road Closed by Martial Law” signs were stashed an the loading docks of Wal-Mart stores. I know it’s narrow of me, but, yes, I worked on the loading dock of a Walmart for a whole summer once and this really sticks out at me. Do you know the kinds of people who work on the loading dock at a Walmart? Saying it’s a broad spectrum of humanity really undersells it. You got college-educated people looking for some extra cash, a whole lot of ex-military easing back into civilian life, and more than a few weirdos for whom it’s Walmart or prison. How the Hell would you keep that wide of a range of people quiet about that? Especially at minimum wage! They think large organizations are magical, and then completely fail to consider that large organizations are made of a lot of smaller sub-units, each muddling through their assigned tasks with whatever people they can convince to sign on. For every bunch of operatives who were given the background check equivalent of a colonoscopy before they even got to see their workplace, you have many thousands who responded to a want ad or some other advertisement, had a brief interview where they didn’t piss themselves or ask if the other guy had any drugs, and maybe deposited urine into a receptacle under the theoretically watchful eye of some other minimum-wage employee. Walmart is successful precisely because it can hire pretty much anyone, slot them into the Big Blue Machine, and end up with a profitable store afterwards. Leaving classified materiel around their low-level employees would be monumentally stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/55 "2017-10-12T22:01:38Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > For stupidity, it’s hard to beat the theory that Big Pharma, government health agencies, physicians and other health care workers have conspired to cover up the Cure for Cancer so that they can continue to sell lucrative but ineffective drugs and treatments for it.\* > … Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You To Know About is a 2005 self-published book by American author Kevin Trudeau. What an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/56 "2017-10-12T22:08:26Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > My favorite is that the President let the United Nations station silent “black helicopters” and troops all throughout the Ozarks ready to take over the country at the direction of the New World Order, and that “Road Closed by Martial Law” signs were stashed an the loading docks of Wal-Mart stores. > > The reason I enjoy this one so much is that I first heard it while George H.W. Bush was President, and then again for Clinton, Bush 43 and Obama, making it the most bi-partisan conspiracy EVER. And they put the invasion instructions on the BACKS of road signs, because the invaders will be driving their armored vehicle columns on the left side of the road, like the foreigners they are. And alongside the “Martial Law” signs at the Walmart, there are also millions of body bags. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/57 "2017-10-12T22:32:17Z")
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > Reading AHunters excellent post (#20), I was reminded of an even more wacky conspiracy that is still clung too: That a young, recently married Hawaiian woman would fly alone to have her baby in a third-world country and then fly back to Hawaii with that baby (by herself, mind you), and then (with family help, one presumes) manage to get a completely valid birth certificate issued in Hawaii…all so the baby could be elected President of the United States 48 years later…as conspiracies go, that is a doozy when you look at it. I gotta say, I think this one wins. Lots of these conspiracy theories are, if nothing else, about rare situations where somewhat specialized knowledge is necessary to really grok what happened. What would photographs on the moon REALLY look like? What would REALLY happen if an airplane crashed into a skyscraper? What DOES cause autism? How does civil aviation work? And some have motives that at least kind of make sense, or least MIGHT make sense: Kennedy being killed did, certainly, change who was president of the US. Are there times when people wish a different person was president of the US, for various reasons? Sure. Lizard people, if they existed, might want to impersonate world leaders. I mean, they don’t exist, so who knows, but it’s not prima facie obvious that impersonation-of-world-leaders is NOT something that lizard people would want to do. The moon landing did, in fact, bring great national prestige to the USA. Might an oppressive government want a more pliable and sheeplike populace? I mean, I guess so? But the birther conspiracy combines the stupidest elements of everything, in that: (a) the motives of the people supposedly involved make no sense (b) it doesn’t take any specialized knowledge to realize how little sense it makes for a young pregnant woman in Hawaii to fly to Kenya, have her baby, and fly back and (c) the evidence against it (ie, birth announcement, birth certificate) is stuff that does not take any specialized knowledge to understand ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/58 "2017-10-12T22:34:22Z")
Rationalwiki has nice list [here](https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories). One of many that made me giggle: “Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is actually Bill Hicks.” ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/59 "2017-10-13T03:01:43Z")
It’s illegal to make video games where you kill US soldiers because the government won’t allow you to sell the game. This was an actual conspiracy theory that make the rounds in tech circles in the mid-00’s. 1st off, some of the most popular games of all time have American soldiers as antagonists in the story mode. 2nd, it relied on the mistaken belief that either the US Government could ban specific games for no reason, or that since the US Government owns the copyright to American military uniforms if you used one in a game it needed approval by the US government in order to sell it to the public. ---
**Author:** ![Flyer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/flyer/32/7298_2.png) [@Flyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flyer)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632/60 "2017-10-13T04:26:24Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > This. I worked for the Department of Defense in the '90s and it’s laughable that “The Gub’mint” could put together, much less keep secret, captured UFOs and alien autopsies, 9/11, HAARP controlling the weather, and so on. People who say this sort of thing completely miss the point. The government didn’t, and couldn’t, keep things like that secret. Rather, they’ve managed to set up an environment in which the majority of people actively decide to not believe those stories, because of the supposed ridiculousness of the subject material. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-conspiracy-theories-of-all-time/798632.md?page=4)