# The stupidest thing I have ever heard an American in Europe say. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687 "2001-05-27T15:48:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/21 "2001-05-27T23:33:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hajario \* > \*\*This one happened three weeks ago in Amsterdam. An American father and daughter were standing behind us in line at the Anne Frank house. The daughter was going to begin her freshman year at a very good university in the Fall. > > She says to her Dad, “I don’t get it. Why did they have to hide?”\*\* Pretty stupid, yes, but the good thing is that she was probably embarassed herself after she visited the museum. Ignorance fought, right? And I hope you enjoyed our fine Capital! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/22 "2001-05-27T23:41:26Z")
Summer 1983 - Paris - I can’t remember which department store, but I was looking at some merchandise when I heard a piercing, nasal female voice whine, “I know how much it is in French. How much is that in American?” Followed by “That’s too expensive!” and an indignant departure. Nice. Very nice… sheesh ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/23 "2001-05-28T01:13:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ruadh \* > \*\*I’ve got a stupid-Canadian one, also in Spain. > > Takes place at the train station. The Canuck is attempting to book a trip - in English. Doesn’t even ask if the ticketman speaks English, just starts talking. The ticketman of course **doesn’t** speak English, and tells the Canadian so - in Spanish. The Canadian leans over (why do people think they’ll be better understood when they do this?) and says, very loudly: “No, I’m not American. I’m Canadian!” > > I always want to throttle people like that and say “you know, that maple leaf on your rucksack doesn’t excuse you being an ARSEHOLE.” \*\* Americans are usually the worst but nearly everytime that I have seen someone pitching a particularly bad fit, they have been Canadian. You can always tell because they are the only ones who feel the need to identify their nationality with a patch of their flag on their backpack. They don’t want to be mistaken for Americans. Hah! Haj ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/24 "2001-05-28T01:39:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hajario \* > \*\* You can always tell because they are the only ones who feel the need to identify their nationality with a patch of their flag on their backpack. They don’t want to be mistaken for Americans. Hah! > > Haj \*\* I have known Americans (three of them, anyway) that sewed the Canadian flag onto their backpacks prior to a trip to Europe. And the reason Canadians do this is because we’re always told that Europeans prefer ‘us’ to ‘them’. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/25 "2001-05-28T01:42:21Z")
When I was in Europe I was really self-conscious because I didn’t any of the native languages (with the possible exception of when I was in London. Although I’m not so sure about that…) I hope I didn’t act like a complete ass over there, I tried my best not to. I wish I could remember a stupid American/Brit/Canuck/Aussie story from over there. Maybe this qualifies (probably not): While I was in Amsterdam I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. As we were walking he said “We’ll have to go to a drug dealer and buy you a bike.” For a second I thought he was serious. Turns out that drug dealers selling stolen bikes is a problem that the authorities are trying to crack down on (I think). It _is_ kind of hard to get irony/sarcasm when you are new and the speaker has a heavy Dutch accent. I really dug Amsterdam. I want to visit again some time. BTW Coldfire, I thought the current threadspotting thread was very touching. Oddly, I don’t know if any of my immediate relatives fought in WWII. My Grandparents were too young and besides my Maternal Grandfather was Sicilian. Nonetheless, very touching. ---
**Author:** ![messiah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3e96dc/32.png) [@messiah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/messiah)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/26 "2001-05-28T01:48:52Z")
Messiah to assistant in \*\* travel agency \*\*: I would like to book a flight to Rome. Assistant: Which country is that in? ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/27 "2001-05-28T03:03:57Z")
At some opera concert in Berlin, some woman yelling in the face of an usher who obviously was quite fluent in English: > [@](#): > > CAN you _please_ show US to our **seats**? I tried to put emphasis where it was, but it’s hard to put in print, especially the saliva that was flying. ---
**Author:** ![Totoro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/28 "2001-05-28T03:07:09Z")
I know it’s not in Europe, but… There was this guy in Jamaica, with a south western american accent, getting really annoyed at the guy behind the counter at the airport. For those who don’t know, “Irie” in Jamaica like “chill” or “cool” in America. The jerk-off kept going “I’d like to buy a ticket. Is that AIII-REEEE?! Is it? AIII-REEEE?” You’re a Jerk-off. JERK-OFFFF. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/29 "2001-05-28T03:17:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eunoia \* > \*\*Visit Quebec this summer! We love Statesians! Vacation tip: in every town/city in the province the most luxurious (and by law also the cheapest) hotel is called “Hotel de Ville”. It’s a huge state-run chain of hotels. Thank me later. Grand Prix weekend June 8-10! \*\* BTW, if you come to Montréal, ask for Pierre Bourque, the concierge, if you need anything special. [sup]Tsk, Tsk, that’s not nice.Oh, will we be in trouble ![/sup] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![passerby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@passerby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/passerby)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/30 "2001-05-28T04:23:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > … > LOOK AT IT NOW!!! You are in a house of fine art in the queen city of the western world! If you wanted photos, you could have bought yourself a nice big glossy art book and saved yourself the vacation money! There is no point in taking an amateurish photo and then looking at a 5x7 reproduction of a piece of art you are standing in front of! _ **LOOK AT IT NOW!!!** _ > > Thank you. Reminds of when I was visiting the temple of Apollo in Greece, about ten years ago. The temple itself is a pretty desolate area, with hardly any vegetation, but in this one bare and dusty courtyard, there was a lone little yellow flower sticking out of the ground. Cute, but I didn’t trek all the way up to Delphi to see just that. Yet, kneeling in front of the flower, with the sun beating hard on his back, is this large male tourist _filming_ the flower with his camcorder. And his large wife is standing nearby watching this. I can just see them back home, showing the video to their neighbors: “Oh and look at that flower, isn’t it cute? Well I guess you had to be there. Marge, where was it again that we shot that flower?” To be fair, I couldn’t tell what nationality this couple was. All I’m saying is that the man was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and the woman was wearing a flower-patterned sun-dress. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/31 "2001-05-28T04:31:28Z")
Oberamergau, Germany (then West Germany), 1970. The Passion Play. Crucifixion scene. Party of middle aged to elderly English ladies in the row behind: “They shouldn’t be allowed to do that to Jesus.” Nearly died of repressed giggling. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/32 "2001-05-28T09:14:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sjc \* > **Maybe this qualifies (probably not): While I was in Amsterdam I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. As we were walking he said “We’ll have to go to a drug dealer and buy you a bike.” For a second I thought he was serious. Turns out that drug dealers selling stolen bikes is a problem that the authorities are trying to crack down on (I think). It _is_ kind of hard to get irony/sarcasm when you are new and the speaker has a heavy Dutch accent.** Hmmm. He probably meant to say “drug addict”. Junkies steal bikes and sell them for 25 Guilders or so to get money for, you guessed it, more drugs - of the non-canabis type. When you get caught in such a transaction, both yourself and the junkie are stiffly fined: you’re supposed to know a bicycle is worth more than 25 Guilders. _Dealers_ selling bikes would be new to me. ---
**Author:** ![beegowhite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@beegowhite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beegowhite)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/33 "2001-05-28T09:30:52Z")
Dachau Concentration Camp An unbelievably somber place. A school group from Ohio simply didn’t get it and was walking around as if they were in Disneyland. The worst was when a girl shouted - “Hey, what’s that? A large pizza oven?” Yeah…the prisoners were surely often served pizza, Dumbass. ---
**Author:** ![Darqangelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Darqangelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darqangelle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/34 "2001-05-28T11:07:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hajario \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by ruadh \* > > \*\*I’ve got a stupid-Canadian one, also in Spain. > > > > Takes place at the train station. The Canuck is attempting to book a trip - in English. Doesn’t even ask if the ticketman speaks English, just starts talking. The ticketman of course **doesn’t** speak English, and tells the Canadian so - in Spanish. The Canadian leans over (why do people think they’ll be better understood when they do this?) and says, very loudly: “No, I’m not American. I’m Canadian!” > > > > I always want to throttle people like that and say “you know, that maple leaf on your rucksack doesn’t excuse you being an ARSEHOLE.” \*\* > > Americans are usually the worst but nearly everytime that I have seen someone pitching a particularly bad fit, they have been Canadian. You can always tell because they are the only ones who feel the need to identify their nationality with a patch of their flag on their backpack. They don’t want to be mistaken for Americans. Hah! > > Haj \*\* In Canada’s defence, I have to mention that quite a number of times I’ve seen Americans sew a Canadian flag on their backpack because they feel they’d get treated differently. It didn’t change their ATTITUDE while travelling, just the presumption that now that they’re ‘Canadian’, they can behave like idiots and get away with it :rolleyes: But ignorance is abound in every country. The only difference in people’s attitudes that I’ve noticed is: There are travellers, and there are those who aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/35 "2001-05-28T11:36:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Darqangelle \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by hajario \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by ruadh \* > > > \*\*I’ve got a stupid-Canadian one, also in Spain. > > > > > > Takes place at the train station. The Canuck is attempting to book a trip - in English. Doesn’t even ask if the ticketman speaks English, just starts talking. The ticketman of course **doesn’t** speak English, and tells the Canadian so - in Spanish. The Canadian leans over (why do people think they’ll be better understood when they do this?) and says, very loudly: “No, I’m not American. I’m Canadian!” > > > > > > I always want to throttle people like that and say “you know, that maple leaf on your rucksack doesn’t excuse you being an ARSEHOLE.” \*\* > > > > Americans are usually the worst but nearly everytime that I have seen someone pitching a particularly bad fit, they have been Canadian. You can always tell because they are the only ones who feel the need to identify their nationality with a patch of their flag on their backpack. They don’t want to be mistaken for Americans. Hah! > > > > Haj \*\* > > In Canada’s defence, I have to mention that quite a number of times I’ve seen Americans sew a Canadian flag on their backpack because they feel they’d get treated differently. It didn’t change their ATTITUDE while travelling, just the presumption that now that they’re ‘Canadian’, they can behave like idiots and get away with it :rolleyes: > > But ignorance is abound in every country. The only difference in people’s attitudes that I’ve noticed is: > There are travellers, and there are those who aren’t. \*\* Wow. How lame is that? I have only felt anti-American prejudice once in all of my travels. I wandered into the wrong neighborhood in South Korea once and nearly got myself killed. Travel to other countries is really easy. 1. You are a guest. Behave like a guest. The fact that the U.S. helped the country in some way a generation or two ago does not give you free reign to be a prick. 2. For the most part, there is no reason to yell. 3. Do you see other people doing what you are doing? No? Then don’t fucking do it. 4. Learn how to say a few words of their language. Hello, good by, thank you, you’re welcome, excuse me, the numbers from 1 to 100 and “I don’t speak \” are not that hard to remember no matter how bad you are at languages. (“One beer please” can be useful too) Haj ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/36 "2001-05-28T12:52:48Z")
This was a Canadian in Jamaica. We were eating breakfast in the main restaurant at the resort and this boorish gentleman(hah!) at the next table was asking the waiter “Do you have any ketchup? You…know…ketch…UP? KETCH-up? Do you know what I MEAN?” In case you don’t know, the people working at resorts in Jamaica generally speak 3 (or more) languages quite fluently. This guy looked like a real ass when his waiter replied quietly,in perfect, Brit-accented English, “Of course I understand, sir. I’ll be back in a moment.” ---
**Author:** ![Darqangelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Darqangelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darqangelle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/37 "2001-05-28T15:08:21Z")
Like I said… they’re in (and from) every country. Hajario put it best, though. If people used common sense… …but then I wake up and the world is real again. (sigh) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/38 "2001-05-28T17:32:34Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by hajario \* > 4. Learn how to say a few words of their language. Hello, good by, thank you, you’re welcome, excuse me, the numbers from 1 to 100 and “I don’t speak \” are not that hard to remember no matter how bad you are at languages. (“One beer please” can be useful too)_\* 1. “Do you speak English?” 2. “I don’t speak [_Basque_].” 3. “Help!” 4. “Fuck off.” 5. “Where are the washrooms?” 6. “Do you want to go to bed with me?” 7. “My friends will pay for it.” ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/39 "2001-05-28T17:52:19Z")
(Sidenote to the EuroDopers I met a few months ago - I’m reading this thread so be very, very careful. :p) I could fill a page of stupid crap I heard people say on my recent European vacation, but I think the most common thing was the way people would raise their voices when trying to speak to someone who didn’t know the same language. Sure ya dumbass, if you speak louder they will understand your English/French/Italian/Spanish. I was standing at Napoleon’s Tomb in Paris when I heard a woman next to me ask “Now who was Napoleon?” If that wasn’t stupid enough, the guy with her answered “I think he was a Pope or something”. It isn’t just European travelers who say dumb things. I was once walking near Temple Square in Salt Lake City when a group of oriental tourist stopped me and asked “Where the polygamists?” ---
**Author:** ![Doubleclick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Doubleclick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doubleclick)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687/40 "2001-05-28T18:15:45Z")
I was on vacation back home in Scotland quite a few years ago. I was in Edinburgh with my parents and we were doing some shopping on the main strip by the castle…then we heard it. A couple who were obviously from the southern US (Their accents were the giveaway) gabbing back and fourth. The man turns to the woman and says: “Man that’s amazing! They build a castle in the middle of the city!” My dad and I cringed when we heard that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-i-have-ever-heard-an-american-in-europe-say/66687.md?page=3)