# The stupidest thing I've seen for sale... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965 "2003-09-01T14:35:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/21 "2003-09-03T15:39:18Z")
[Pet Rocks.](http://www.virtualpet.com/vp/farm/petrock/petrock.htm) ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/22 "2003-09-03T15:48:24Z")
“and so you aren’t really buying it, and besides, it’s much better that the last one…” You don’t even own it, you just have a license to USE it… Top of my list are [ebay.com](http://ebay.com) stuff: 1. mounted gorilla penis for $250k (taken off quickly) 2. kid who sold his soul & only got $5 for it. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/23 "2003-09-03T15:50:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by handy \* > \*\* > > 1. mounted gorilla penis for $250k (taken off quickly) > \*\* Um, how did they mean “mounted”? ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/24 "2003-09-03T15:52:18Z")
I’d say probably “mounted” on a wall plaque… you naughty pervert! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mogadon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7feea3/32.png) [@Mogadon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mogadon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/25 "2003-09-03T17:51:43Z")
“and so you aren’t really buying it, and besides, it’s much better that the last one…” You don’t even own it, you just have a license to USE it… * * * So what you’re buying is the right to keep Bill Gates bank account topped up? ---
**Author:** ![criminalcatalog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@criminalcatalog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminalcatalog)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/26 "2003-09-03T19:23:24Z")
At a gas station in the candy section I saw some _hollow plastic bats with candy syrup inside._\* \*you know, eek eek. bats. ---
**Author:** ![spogga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@spogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spogga)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/27 "2003-09-03T19:32:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > \*\*Hm. Hadn’t thought about the idea of buying a box for a toy you already had, to increase the value. > > As to selling stuff that doesn’t work… well… I get a half dozen emails every day offering to help me increase the size of my penis. I’m quite certain none of these solutions will do a damn thing, but I keep getting the emails. SOMEONE is making money, and I suspect it’s just a matter of farming the idiots out there. Mass advertising equals mass money… whether the product actually works or not… \*\* Thank God for that, I thought I was the only one and that they knew something I had suspected for years…11 inches I mean what use is that? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/28 "2003-09-03T20:07:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HelloKitty \* > \*\*I just saw Igia’s latest offering: “Air-O-Sage”…it’s these dorky looking blue boots that you strap onto your legs for a “soothing massage”. Only 39.95. I swear they are the absolute stupidest thing I have ever seen for sale in my entire life. \*\* My guess when I 1st saw the Air-O-Sage was that the [url=http://www.astvnow.com/astvnow-172.shtml]Ab Energizer Company went & re-tooled their machinery at their production facility in an attempt to hit a daily double. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/29 "2003-09-04T00:50:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mogadon \* > \*\*So what you’re buying is the right to keep Bill Gates bank account topped up? \*\* Yup. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/30 "2003-09-04T04:47:24Z")
My local grocery store has these plastic spatula-looking-things for sale. They claim they are to apply sunscreen. They’re so handy! All you do is put some sunscreen on the flat plastic part, and run it over your body. Viola! You are now magically protected from the sun. Ummm… Isn’t that why God gave us hands? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/31 "2003-09-04T04:50:58Z")
Maybe to get it over the hard to reach places on your back? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/32 "2003-09-04T05:30:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by autz \* > \*\*My local grocery store has these plastic spatula-looking-things for sale. They claim they are to apply sunscreen. > > They’re so handy! All you do is put some sunscreen on the flat plastic part, and run it over your body. Viola! You are now magically protected from the sun. > > Ummm… Isn’t that why God gave us hands? \*\* Oh god no! You don’t want to get that stuff on your hands! God loves us, and gave us hands for masterbation and to drink beer! * * * Sig lost on other computer’s “CONT V” so don’t expect anything here. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/33 "2003-09-04T07:30:00Z")
The standard discription of a totally useless item in my family was “As useful as an electric fork.” SOB if someone didn’t invent one… Now what do I do?? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/34 "2003-09-04T09:47:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Smeghead \* > \*\*Right now, I’m watching a REALLY badly acted infomercial for some herbal penis enlarger. The onslaught of thinly veiled euphamisms and bad pseudoscience being presented in awkward, stilted dialogue is about to make my head explode. \*\* That would be ALZARE: Hands down the WORST infomercial ever made. The smarmy guy from the Alzare Institute (or wherever) used to have a Tiny-Classified-Ad-type infomercial, too. He couldn’t compete with Don Lapre, though. Not enough enthusiasm. And tell that woman to (pause) button her shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/35 "2003-09-04T12:30:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \* > \*\* Anything and everything can be bought, sold, or traded on eBay. It’s downright wicked! \*\* Well, unless you’re in Europe in which case you aren’t allowed to sell certain, um, ‘adult’ things… ☹😕 ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/36 "2003-09-04T15:22:22Z")
I once saw a Bass-O-Matic for sale. Late night TV, maybe it was on a Saturday night. Of course, this was a few years ago … ---
**Author:** ![Morelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Morelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morelin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/37 "2003-09-04T15:24:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine \* > \*\*At Borders, they sell something called an “indoor s’mores kit.” It consists of about six marshmallows, a dozen graham crackers, a bar of chocolate, a couple of wood skewers, and a few tea lights – for _14.95_. I could buy the same items at the supermarket and assemble at least twenty kits for less money. \*\* See, I would buy this. Sad to say, I’ve never had a real S’mores, and I’m not quite sure what all I would need. The kit would give me everything I need, plus presumably, tell me how to prepare it. Besides, I work at Borders, so I can get a discount. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/38 "2003-09-04T19:18:08Z")
Awwww, **Morelin**. Well, what you need for authentic S’mores is 1 box of graham crackers, 1 bag of marshmallows, and a few chocolate bars. The classic choice for chocolate is Hershey bars which have been allow to get soft in your backpack and then resolidify after the sun went down. This gives them that special graininess. Roast marshmallow over campfire or barbecue grill. Ideally you should allow the marshmallow to catch on fire while you are scratching your chigger bites. Smoosh into sandwich with preferred amount of chocolate between two halves of a graham cracker. Enjoy Alternatively, roast the marshmallow over a candle or stove burner at homw. Using a metal fork so you can yell, curse and drop the first when it burns your fingers is optional. I have not personally tried the microwave method, but I hear it offers some interesting phenomena for the scientifically minded. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/39 "2003-09-04T19:38:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeff Olsen \* > \*\*Back to the subject at hand: check out [stupid.com](http://www.stupid.com/index.html). \*\* I did, and found the [Peter Petrie Egg Separator](http://www.stupid.com/stat/EGSP.html). Awesome! ---
**Author:** ![spogga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@spogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spogga)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965/40 "2003-09-04T19:38:39Z")
Pardon my ignorance but what the hell is a CHIGGER:confused: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-stupidest-thing-ive-seen-for-sale/198965.md?page=3)