# The Superhero Power/Trivial Use Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302 "2004-11-06T02:07:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ShockingAlberto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@ShockingAlberto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShockingAlberto)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/21 "2004-11-06T11:09:12Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Ruling and defending a kingdom, and occasionally pitching in to help defend a world you’re vaguely hostile towards? > > That’s trivial? Glad I don’t have your life! > > (I hate people dissing the A-man.) Ah, I’m using the stereotypical picture of the Superfriends Aqua-Man, wading around in a pool and talking to fish. If he was hostile against anything (he had a creepy Donny Osmond vibe, actually), it was against too much chlorine in the fountain. Though, the modern Aquaman is pretty badass, I’ll grant you that. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/22 "2004-11-06T11:36:25Z")
If I had Green Lantern’s powers I would left a trail of ripped shirts and downed pants in my wake. Not because I want to, but because I couldn’t control it. Stupid thought activated powers. If I had Beast Boy’s powers I would turn into a squirrel and chuck nuts at people just because. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/23 "2004-11-06T11:44:52Z")
::ahem:: Hello! _Superman’s_ X-Ray Vision…um, you know… Plus, if you’re Superman, I’ll bet lots of the ladies would want to know if you’re _really_ the _Man Of Steel_… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShockingAlberto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ea924/32.png) [@ShockingAlberto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShockingAlberto)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/24 "2004-11-06T11:52:19Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > Plus, if you’re Superman, I’ll bet lots of the ladies would want to know if you’re _really_ the _Man Of Steel_… 😃 But what if you’re really faster than a speeding bullet? :eek: Sorry, I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![RandomLetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@RandomLetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandomLetters)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/25 "2004-11-06T15:13:36Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > ::ahem:: Hello! _Superman’s_ X-Ray Vision…um, you know… > > Plus, if you’re Superman, I’ll bet lots of the ladies would want to know if you’re _really_ the _Man Of Steel_… 😃 [I suggest you read "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenix.](http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html) ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/26 "2004-11-06T15:20:59Z")
> [@ShockingAlberto](#): > > But what if you’re really faster than a speeding bullet? :eek: > > Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Just don’t tear her in half like a phone book or you’ll end up in HELL! If I had Wolverine’s claws, I’d just them to slice my bed three times faster than I normally could. ---
**Author:** ![Squire\_Trelane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Squire\_Trelane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire_Trelane)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/27 "2004-11-06T15:27:28Z")
If I had Flash’s power, I’d be able to spend 99.999% of my time goofing off. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/28 "2004-11-06T16:07:33Z")
> [@audiobottle](#): > > If I had Wolverine’s claws, I’d just them to slice my bed three times faster than I normally could. How fast do you normally slice your bed? And why do you slice your bed at all? If I had Coagula’s powers I would liquify and coagulate the blacktop in my driveway to finally level out the damn pothole my landlord won’t fix! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/29 "2004-11-06T16:14:02Z")
If I had the Human Torch’s power, I’d go up to people at a cookout, trip and fall into their little hibachi, go up like a torch, and run out of the backyard screaming like a banshee. As soon as I got around the corner, I’d turn myself off and hide in the bushes. This would work best on really stoned people. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/30 "2004-11-06T16:18:44Z")
> [@picker](#): > > If I had the Human Torch’s power, I’d go up to people at a cookout, trip and fall into their little hibachi, go up like a torch, and run out of the backyard screaming like a banshee. > > As soon as I got around the corner, I’d turn myself off and hide in the bushes. > > This would work best on really stoned people. That is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Arch\_Trout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9f8e36/32.png) [@Arch\_Trout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arch_Trout)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/31 "2004-11-06T16:30:50Z")
If I had Flash’s power I’d go for the world’s quickest masturbation record. From first stroke to ejaculation in 0.00000000000001 seconds. On second thoughts, the chaffing may hurt a bit. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/32 "2004-11-06T21:53:43Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > How fast do you normally slice your bed? And why do you slice your bed at all? Ah, but you see the genius behind it. What could possibly be more trivial than using the power to do something I wouldn’t do otherwise? Or maybe I’m prone to spelling errors when I’m flu-ridden. Whichever makes me sound cooler. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/33 "2004-11-06T22:43:58Z")
> [@Squire Trelane](#): > > If I had Flash’s power, I’d be able to spend 99.999% of my time goofing off. I don’t, but I already do! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/34 "2004-11-06T23:16:22Z")
If I had Storm’s powers, I’d make sure it was always warm and sunny and pleasant in my city. That, or cause a very localized tornado in the area of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/35 "2004-11-06T23:21:54Z")
If I had Magneto’s powers, I’d drain the batteries of every cell phone within my field of influence. ---
**Author:** ![Squire\_Trelane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Squire\_Trelane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire_Trelane)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/36 "2004-11-06T23:22:27Z")
If I had Thor’s power, I’d ask people “Hey, could you bring me that sledgehammer over there?”. Hilarity ensues! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/37 "2004-11-06T23:24:11Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > If I had Batman’s powers… > > Oh, wait. I do. Are you prepared to explain that joke. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/38 "2004-11-06T23:24:53Z")
If I had Nightcrawler’s powers, I’d sneak up behind people, tap them on the shoulder, and then teleport away. Hilarity ensues! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/39 "2004-11-06T23:28:03Z")
If I had Green Lanterns glowing Power Ring…I’d be able to save big bucks on penlight batteries. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/40 "2004-11-07T00:00:09Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > ::ahem:: Hello! _Superman’s_ X-Ray Vision…um, you know… Yeah, but x-ray vision ain’t necessarily all it’s cracked up to be. “Yowza! Check out the third thoracic vertebra on _that_ chick!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302.md?page=3)