# The Superhero Power/Trivial Use Game **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302 "2004-11-06T02:07:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/41 "2004-11-07T00:15:35Z")
If I had Flash’s power, I would set a new world record for plate spinning. If I had Rogue’s power, I would steal test answers from my professors. If I had Jubilee’s power, the annual fireworks show would be both better and cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![Heller\_Highwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@Heller\_Highwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heller_Highwater)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/42 "2004-11-07T01:19:22Z")
A friend of mine had his character do this in a superhero RPG that I play. I think it’s a great idea: It requires shapeshifting powers (Mystique, Beast Boy, etc.), and a friend or roommate. When some unwanted solicitor comes to your door, get the friend to throw it open and shout “Release the lion!” Immediately shapeshift into said lion, and go bounding out the door at the hapless victim, chasing them away. Hilarity ensues. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/43 "2004-11-07T01:31:06Z")
If I had Wolverine’s healing ability, I’d go to a biker bar and ask the toughest looking guy there, “Hey, aren’t you Richard Simmons?” With Jedi mind control powers, I’d tell the IRS, “I am not the taxpayer you’re looking for.” ---
**Author:** ![Squire\_Trelane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Squire\_Trelane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire_Trelane)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/44 "2004-11-07T01:59:29Z")
If I had Colossal Boy’s power, I’d paint myself green and work to convince children to eat their vegetables. \* If I had Triplicate Girl’s power, I’d hang out in the mall outside Lenscrafters and see how many people I could make go right back in the shop for a re-fitting. If I had Karate Kid’s power, I’d wax my car, paint my fence, sand my floor… \*(“Yo ho ho! Green Giant!” Too obscure?) ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/45 "2004-11-07T02:37:16Z")
> [@Squire Trelane](#): > > If I had Karate Kid’s power, I’d wax my car, paint my fence, sand my floor… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/46 "2004-11-07T04:32:12Z")
If I had Lightning Lad’s power, I’d short out the car stereo system of everyone whose music can be heard beyond the walls of their actual car. If I had Saturn Girl’s power, I’d be able to figure out whether my six-month old daughter is hungry, or wet, or just wants to play, or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/47 "2004-11-07T07:08:04Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > ::ahem:: Hello! _Superman’s_ X-Ray Vision…um, you know… “Wow, Lois, you have a really sexy pair of kidneys.” ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/48 "2004-11-07T07:11:14Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > If I had Lightning Lad’s power, I’d short out the car stereo system of everyone whose music can be heard beyond the walls of their actual car. Damn freakin’ right. Actually, all the superpower I ask is the ability to melt speaker wire at 300 yards. THUMPA, THUMPA, THU…[blissful silence] ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/49 "2004-11-07T08:24:43Z")
If I had Iceman’s power, I’d have a LOT of fun at Raging Waters. I’d be watching little kids going down the slide… “Mommy, lookit me, lookit meeeee _THUD_” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/50 "2004-11-07T16:02:29Z")
If I were female, and had Elastigirl’s stretching powers, I’d set a world record for the fastest labor and delivery. ---
**Author:** ![Phelan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Phelan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phelan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302/51 "2004-11-07T17:11:59Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > If I were female, and had Elastigirl’s stretching powers, I’d set a world record for the fastest labor and delivery. What a lovely bouncing baby boy!! LITERALLY!!! If I was The Beyonder, I’d create my own universe where time goes by at a billionth the speed, where I’d go to get an extra few hours of sleep in the morning, or just to take a cat nap when I’m working. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-superhero-power-trivial-use-game/273302.md?page=2)