# The tale of the bad, bad, boyfriend... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 25, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705 "2002-07-25T04:41:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/1 "2002-07-25T04:41:37Z")
Ok. So my boyfriend is brown. I, on the other hand, am white. Fish-belly white, to be exact. Due to my boyfriend’s lovely chocolate browness, he has never had any sort of sunburn. I, on the other hand, have had plenty. I went away for a week to a hot, sunny local, and sunned myself like a large, fat lizard on a rock. As I result, those areas not covered by my swimsuit got rather, um, pink. So I get home. I see my boyfriend. I show him my tan lines. He laughs profusely. He tells me I look like I’m wearing a pair of bright, white underpants. He is a bad, bad boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/2 "2002-07-25T04:51:37Z")
I agree. No person who does NOT go hot pink or worse in the sun has the right to laugh at those of us who do. Now, if this were not the first time this year you’d done so, he might be justified, but most people only do this once every two or three years. Some are even smarter. I’m assuming this will stay with you for quite awhile. For what it’s worth, I burn from the toaster, so you have my sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/3 "2002-07-25T04:59:47Z")
He just kept shaking his head going “Poor, poor white people…” I think I may kill him. Slowly… ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/4 "2002-07-25T05:01:18Z")
As a person seriously lacking in skin pigment, I have received my share of ribbing in this area-- no, not _that_ area… Go easy on the guy. I’ve heard people who can tan are less intelligent than the pale anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/5 "2002-07-25T05:58:15Z")
My girlfriend and I are both chalky white (I’m a little bit “darker”). We are also extraordinarily attractive. This is normal. Being pale is hard to maintain in Florida, especially when we run in the afternoon. We both have the “farmer tan,” where our arms and necks and heads and legs (not including the sock area) are browner than the rest of us. Take faith, **alice**. Tan lines = extreme beauty = hubba hubba. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/6 "2002-07-25T06:10:42Z")
See, I just don’t tan. I mean, even _with_ sunscreen, 4 hours in the blazing sun while on a lake should really darken my skin a little. Grrr. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/7 "2002-07-25T06:39:20Z")
Anyone else humming that Chris Isaak song? ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/8 "2002-07-25T12:11:00Z")
Maybe you should refuse to show him your “tan lines” until he appoligises? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/9 "2002-07-25T13:49:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tir Tinuviel \* > \*\*Maybe you should refuse to show him your “tan lines” until he appoligises? 😉 \*\* Yes, I should. However, he did rub aloe on my back, so I guess I can’t be tooo mad at him… ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/10 "2002-07-25T15:32:51Z")
On the other hand… I’m rather brown (Spanish) the problem with this is that I tan dark and _fast_. Even when I’m avoiding direct sunlight, I’ll be exposed to it a bit going from house to subway. The result? I have tie-dye feet from my sandals, and a ridiculous farmer’s tan. I can not avoid a farmer’s tan to save my life. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/11 "2002-07-25T15:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*He is a bad, bad boyfriend. \*\* Bad boyfriend! No nookie! ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/12 "2002-07-25T16:12:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Charmian \* > \*\*On the other hand… I’m rather brown (Spanish) the problem with this is that I tan dark and _fast_. Even when I’m avoiding direct sunlight, I’ll be exposed to it a bit going from house to subway. > > The result? I have tie-dye feet from my sandals, and a ridiculous farmer’s tan. I can not avoid a farmer’s tan to save my life. \*\* I have the same problem. So despite my use of sunscreen, I have three different and distinct sets of tan lines from three different bathing suits. It’s like those sun-faded shadow pictures kids make with leaves and construction paper. ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/13 "2002-07-25T16:28:45Z")
So, do we get to see how bad the tan lines are? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/14 "2002-07-25T21:22:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Abe Babe \* > \*\*So, do we get to see how bad the tan lines are? 😉 \*\* Well, his description was actually fairly accurate. It DOES look like I’m wearing bright, white underpants, even when I’m totally neked. Man I hope I’m not hit by a bus today - the folks in the ER would get a pretty good chuckle, I’m sure… ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/15 "2002-07-25T22:39:48Z")
> [@](#): > > It DOES look like I’m wearing bright, white underpants, even when I’m totally neked. So, from this, we can conclude that you were a large, fat, _topless_ lizard on a rock? 'Cause I’m sort of missing the reference to yer “tomatoes.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/16 "2002-07-26T01:35:32Z")
You said he was brown? So then he’s Bad, bad, Boyfriend Brown? ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/17 "2002-07-26T01:45:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by p@cific@812 \* > \*\*I’ve heard people who can tan are less intelligent than the pale anyway. \*\* I’m not certain I agree with that. My most recent ex was able to go from milk-chocolate to dark bitter chocolate with sun, but fiercely intelligent. Unfortunately, he didn’t want to use it for good. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/18 "2002-07-26T02:28:01Z")
I used to tan when I was younger-first a bad burn, then a tan. Now, I burn. But my belly doesn’t do either. One year I was so desparate I tried baby oil on my belly. No dice. Oh well-it’s been ages since I’ve been in the sun. I really don’t have a desire for a tan, anyways. It’s just not worth it. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/19 "2002-07-26T02:59:24Z")
For those who need to be reminded: sun is bad for you and your skin. pain is nature’s way of telling you to “stop it”. yes, a person showing the coloration described in the OP _is_ laughable. ---
**Author:** ![p\_cific\_812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@p\_cific\_812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/p_cific_812)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705/20 "2002-07-26T03:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sinshine \* > **I’m not certain I agree with that. My most recent ex was able to go from milk-chocolate to dark bitter chocolate with sun, but fiercely intelligent…** OK, you called me on it **Sinshine**. Excuse my hyperbole-- I’m just a _really_ white guy with dashed dreams of tanning and I’m a little bitter about it. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tale-of-the-bad-bad-boyfriend/120705.md?page=2)