# The Teeming Minions Fantasy League **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 30, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296 "2000-08-30T04:15:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/41 "2000-09-05T23:31:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Fuck me sideways. I’m happy to :). ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/42 "2000-09-06T00:32:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl \* > \*\*Fuck me sideways. > Just found out Gary is out for the year. > Fuck fuck fuck > Fuck. > \*\* WHAT??? Where? How? Fuck me. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/43 "2000-09-06T00:42:41Z")
From what I heard, they gave him a precautionary MRI which revealed a COMPLETELY torn ACL. The kid was playing on this for a good portion of last night’s game. If you notice, he was limping around a bit at the end there, but hell, Terrell Davis looked worse! I hope Gary bounces back from this next year, because he’s as tough as shit if he can play on a torn ACL. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/44 "2000-09-11T17:41:23Z")
After two weeks are (almost) completed, we are already beginning to see the cream rise to the crop. I’ll post the standings tomorrow when the Monday results come in, but right now it looks like Mullintor’s Hermosa Castor, iampunha’s Improbable Probables, wolfman’s South Park Visitors, joey hemlock’s Jalisco Jimadors and my own Hell Dwellers are still undefeated. Falcon’s Skaggsville Falcons could get beat by BigRed1’s Cobras, since the Cobras have three players still going including her QB in tonight’s game, but they all have to have decent games. Omni seems to think that he will come back from his huge defecit with Drew Bledsoe tonight, but Drew will have to have a game of Kurt Warnerian levels to not get beat. You still think Eddie Kennison and Bobby Engram are gonna get a thousand yards each? How you think they’re gonna do against my Giants this week IRL, huh? Anyway, it is still early - but the cream IS rising to the top and High & Mighty thus far is stuck in the curds and whey… * * * Yer pal, Satan - Commissioner, [The Teeming Minions](http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/full/show?lid=39428&page=leaguehome) \*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Five months, two days, 15 hours, 40 minutes and 27 seconds. 6226 cigarettes not smoked, saving $778.26. Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 14 hours, 50 minutes. \***“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. _(Amen, brother!)_** \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/45 "2000-09-11T18:11:39Z")
We’ll see, Remember that not only do I have Bledsoe tonite, my opponent has the NE Defense. A Shootout like last week and I should be sitting pretty. Bledsoe needs at least 3 TD passes though. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/46 "2000-09-11T18:21:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Drain Bead \* > \*\*I hope Gary bounces back from this next year, because he’s as tough as shit if he can play on a torn ACL. \*\* He’s also probably dumb as shit if he plays on a completely torn ACL. Or if the team doctor or trainer doesn’t have him in surgery today, if not sooner. Fucking up your ACL worse than he has already is not a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/47 "2000-09-11T18:43:01Z")
I still think I have tonight locked up…hopefully a 40 or so point cushion is good enough. _crosses fingers_ And next week, I play da Commish. Without his starting QB. Enjoy being undefeated, Satan…won’t last too long. (And before some wiseass looks it up, YES, I know I’m also without my best RB and WR.) ---
**Author:** ![Yossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/9de0a6/32.png) [@Yossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yossarian)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/48 "2000-09-11T21:57:30Z")
Hey, don’t count me out yet. I’ve had to open the season against two of the toughest teams (amongst the cream): the Falcons and the Hermosa Castor. So, I may be in the basement after two weeks, but hopefully my schedule will soften up. At least I never have to face the Hell’s Dwellers! ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/49 "2000-09-11T22:30:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*but right now it looks like … joey hemlock’s Jalisco Jimadors … are still undefeated. > \*\* Yes, but only because I have been pretty lucky so far and my opponents have had more-lousy-than-me games. I think I should be able to make the playoffs, but i doubt i’ll see the 2nd round of them. I have a good team (considering a 20-team league), but not a great team. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/50 "2000-09-12T04:50:08Z")
I don’t BELIEVE Testaverde pulled that win out of his ass. Which means, since I was a moron and somehow forgot to press “Update Roster” on the freaking screen, I lose. By two points. This is SO not fair. Normally I’m a better loser than this, but right now I’m pissed at myself. Good game, Beth. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/51 "2000-09-12T13:50:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > > **Enjoy being undefeated, Satan…won’t last too long.** Lasted longer than you did… 😃 * * * Yer pal, Satan - Commissioner, [The Teeming Minions](http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/full/show?lid=39428&page=leaguehome) \*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Five months, three days, 11 hours, 50 minutes and 3 seconds. 6259 cigarettes not smoked, saving $782.47. Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 17 hours, 35 minutes. \***“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. _(Amen, brother!)_** \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/52 "2000-09-12T14:20:42Z")
```auto Team Name W-L-T Win % PTS Strk 1 Cobras 2-0-0 1.000 152.99 W-2 2 South Park Visitors 2-0-0 1.000 143.02 W-2 3 Hell Dwellers 2-0-0 1.000 139.45 W-2 4 Improbable Probables 2-0-0 1.000 136.37 W-2 5 Hermoso Castor 2-0-0 1.000 117.99 W-2 6 Jalisco Jimadors 2-0-0 1.000 97.10 W-2 7 Seattle Sinners 1-1-0 0.500 151.18 W-1 8 Skaggsville Falcons 1-1-0 0.500 143.35 L-1 9 The Mighty Osips 1-1-0 0.500 124.32 L-1 10 Pepperland Broncos 1-1-0 0.500 124.30 W-1 11 High and Mighty 1-1-0 0.500 118.88 L-1 12 Qwispy Killers 1-1-0 0.500 103.84 W-1 13 KC Whammies 1-1-0 0.500 98.19 W-1 14 Rockville Crows 1-1-0 0.500 96.47 L-1 15 Baltimore Weirdos 0-2-0 0.000 99.19 L-2 16 Monroeville Maroons 0-2-0 0.000 96.78 L-2 17 Stinky Rat Felchers 0-2-0 0.000 73.45 L-2 18 Terlingua Drop-Outs 0-2-0 0.000 69.90 L-2 19 Wisconsin Cows 0-2-0 0.000 62.74 L-2 20 Edmonton Smugglers 0-2-0 0.000 62.24 L-2 ``` Next Week’s Schedule Hell Dwellers (2-0) vs. Skaggsville Falcons (1-1) Edmonton Smugglers (0-2) vs. Stinky Rat Felchers (0-2) Hermoso Castor (2-0) vs. Cobras (2-0) Improbable Probables (2-0) vs. Terlingua Drop-Outs (0-2) Pepperland Broncos (1-1) vs. Monroeville Maroons (0-2) Seattle Sinners (1-1) vs. Wisconsin Cows (0-2) Rockville Crows (1-1) vs. The Mighty Osips (1-1) High and Mighty (1-1) vs. Jalisco Jimadors (2-0) South Park Visitors (2-0) vs. KC Whammies (1-1) Baltimore Weirdos (0-2) vs. Qwispy Killers (1-1) * * * Yer pal, Satan - Commissioner, [The Teeming Minions](http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/full/show?lid=39428&page=leaguehome) \*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Five months, three days, 12 hours, 19 minutes and 48 seconds. 6260 cigarettes not smoked, saving $782.57. Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 17 hours, 40 minutes. \***“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. _(Amen, brother!)_** ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/53 "2000-09-12T14:39:47Z")
Well Bledsoe sure let me down, nice performance in the Red Zone. Ah, I guess its good to get it out of the way early, flukes will happen, I mean Jimmy Smith for 3 TDs and 291 yrds? Shit happens, it’ll all feel better when I knock off Joey Hemlock to give him a slot in the L-column. Falc, looks like you started gloating a bit early…who’s looking over who’s shoulder? Not you, nor me…but that’ll change soon enough. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/54 "2000-09-12T14:56:47Z")
Yeah, whatever. Who knew Testaverde and Co. could make up a 40 point deficit? Ah well, gives me ANOTHER reason to hate him. And Satan…I still say I’m going to beat you next week. My team is PISSED now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/55 "2000-09-12T14:57:44Z")
Looks like I get to take out a fellow undefeated team this week. Shaun King is up for grabs if someone wants a QB. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/56 "2000-09-12T16:51:21Z")
```auto **Skaggsville Falcons (1-1-0) Hell Dwellers (2-0-0)** Pos Player Opp Pos Player Opp QB Griese, Brian (Den) @Oak QB Blake, Jeff (NO) @Sea WR Muhammad, Muhsin (Car) Atl WR Freeman, Antonio (GB) Phi WR McCardell, Keenan (Jac) Cin WR Toomer, Amani (NYG) @Chi WR Thrash, James (Was) Dal WR Owens, Terrell (SF) @StL RB Chancey, Robert (SD) @KC RB Allen, James (Chi) NYG RB Huntley, Richard (Pit) @Cle RB Levens, Dorsey (GB) Phi TE Dudley, Rickey (Oak) Den TE Mitchell, Pete (NYG) @Chi K Christie, Steve (Buf) @NYJ K Hollis, Mike (Jac) Cin DEF San Diego Chargers @KC DEF New York Giants @Chi ``` Well, you got me at QB, it’s a push at WR, your running backs suck, and I like my defense better than yours too. All in all, it should be close… * * * Yer pal, Satan - Commissioner, [The Teeming Minions](http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/full/show?lid=39428&page=leaguehome) \*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR: Five months, three days, 14 hours, 50 minutes and 23 seconds. 6264 cigarettes not smoked, saving $783.09. Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 18 hours, 0 minutes. \***“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. _(Amen, brother!)_** ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/57 "2000-09-12T17:42:24Z")
Let’s see…my running backs suck, huh? Well, Huntley is against CLEVELAND, for crying out loud. So there’s a good day for him. Chancey…respectable, but not outstanding. Which is what I’d say about your running backs, hon. WR, I think I have a SLIGHT edge. Dallas’s special teams haven’t been that great, so hopefully Thrash could rip one wide open. Well, he could if Deion doesn’t feel like showing off in front of his old team. QB, yer in BIG trouble. Then again, I’ll be in QB hell for my bye week too. TE - Advantage, me. Although I’m not sure how much he’ll get against Denver’s defense. DEF - I think it’s a push. Both good, but not spectacular defenses. I’d like yours better if they were playing, say…Dallas. Or the Eagles aagin. So I won’t kick yer ass, but I still say I win. By 5 points or less, most likely. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/58 "2000-09-15T14:52:43Z")
My team’s pissed off after an incredible it-might-as-well-should’ve-been a bye week. And, they’re taking it out on the “Mighty” Osips. Anyway, it’s [fantasy hockey](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=38503) time, too. We need people to join the league! ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/59 "2000-09-15T15:45:50Z")
> [@](#): > > _Omniscient rambled:_ > **Shit happens, it’ll all feel better when I knock off Joey Hemlock to give him a slot in the L-column** Too bad it’s an off-week for your best players, Omni. Of course, I’ll probably get beat anyway, considering that even some of the 0-2 teams have more overall points than me… Oh well, I **am** having a lot of fun! ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296/60 "2000-09-15T19:51:30Z")
Joey, just wait, after the 42-38 Bears victory this weekend you’ll be saying “Eddie and Frank who?..” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teeming-minions-fantasy-league/31296.md?page=4)