# The Teleology of Hannah Montana **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 23, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177 "2010-08-23T17:01:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/1 "2010-08-23T17:01:41Z")
I have entered the marketplace, and [she](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49289187@N02/4920662798/#/photos/49289187@N02/4920662798/lightbox/) is there. She has been there, a tracing projection, prior to her presence. Vanity mirrors, scissors, pencil cases and notebooks—she (or rather, what she would become) pre-identifies my conscious needs and wants. From those needs and wants the course of her being emerged, to follow an outré-course, by way of this manifestation, to this place—this 99 Cents Only store—where she had long ago perhaps joined the cumulative instance of many other disentangled goods. Only among these goods already, could she have ever been, or could she have become, aligned, with the volition of my act of acquiring her representation, thereby realizing this pre-conception entirely. The meta-engagement of the marketplace—for me but an obscure reference to an image, or to the idea of an image—now allows me to perceive her embodiment in a way that could only now become by necessity evident to me. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/2 "2010-08-23T19:22:21Z")
What is this? _The Allegory of the Disney Channel_? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/3 "2010-08-23T19:42:45Z")
Cool story bro ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/4 "2010-08-23T21:21:27Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > What is this? _The Allegory of the Disney Channel_? Such objection is akin to others. By Hannah’s own words, she has failed to “present” a like illustration. This indexes the fullness of created life, and yes, even allegory, and we can see that the common problem is that of representation–or rather, that “art” of representation, which is so dear to Hannah. ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/5 "2010-08-23T21:41:37Z")
So, you’re saying it’s your fault? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/6 "2010-08-23T21:47:12Z")
WildassramblinOPsaywhat? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/7 "2010-08-23T21:56:04Z")
OP, could you make it plain? ---
**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/8 "2010-08-23T22:02:51Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > WildassramblinOPsaywhat? > 😃 You forgot to add a [linky](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWaSgKfK-sc) ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/9 "2010-08-23T22:55:11Z")
Interestingly, running this through Google Translate by the way of English -\> Norwegian -\> Bulgarian -\> English also yields absolutely no sense. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/10 "2010-08-23T23:34:52Z")
If this were Family Feud I think the number one answer to “Why did **guizot** start this thread?” would be “drunk”. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/11 "2010-08-24T01:28:41Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > OP, could you make it plain? Above and beyond the end of plainness, or simplicity, there is the question of reducibility: “How can one—bound within the aisle of [multi-functional](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49289187@N02/4922134546/#/photos/49289187@N02/4922134546/lightbox/) [reality](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49289187@N02/4921539067/in/photostream/#/photos/49289187@N02/4921539067/in/photostream/lightbox/)—empirically know the sub-textual episteme that infuses Hannah, as bracelet, as notepad, as scrunchie? ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/12 "2010-08-24T01:31:07Z")
You got the hots for her too? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/13 "2010-08-24T01:33:46Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > If this were Family Feud I think the number one answer to “Why did **guizot** start this thread?” would be “drunk”. in vino veritas ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/14 "2010-08-24T01:56:54Z")
He had to buy pencils or something and the most appealing option at the 99 cents store was Hannah Montana. And now he knows what she looks like. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/15 "2010-08-24T02:07:17Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > > [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > > > If this were Family Feud I think the number one answer to “Why did **guizot** start this thread?” would be “drunk”. > > in vino veritas Psychic veracity–or, as you will have it, _veritas_–has been replaced by the imagination of the _secret pop star_ (an _inverted_ imagination), and as such becomes personification of exchange–we [exchange](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49289187@N02/4921660871/#/photos/49289187@N02/4921660871/lightbox/) the utility of the [narrative](http://www.flickr.com/photos/49289187@N02/4921660843/#/photos/49289187@N02/4921660843/lightbox/). ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/16 "2010-08-24T11:59:14Z")
**guizot** would have gotten an A in my Linguistic Anthropology final on postmodernism\*. I can see it now – _Derrida and the Heuristics of Hanna Montana: A Discourse on Epistimological BFF’s_. \*This is not a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/17 "2010-08-24T12:09:10Z")
Back in the day, I dropped blotters that had R2D2 on them. I’m guessing these days, they have Hannah Montana on them. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/18 "2010-08-24T12:32:41Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > What is this? _The Allegory of the Disney Channel_? It’s part of N. Korea’s denial of sinking the Cheonan. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/19 "2010-08-24T13:18:48Z")
Be honest, you’ve stolen William Gibson’s latest manuscript haven’t you? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177/20 "2010-08-24T13:27:39Z")
My ex has a Ph.D. in Performance Studies from Northwestern University. I mention this only because it may explain why this OP actually makes perfect sense to me. At least…as much sense as anything in my marriage ever did. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-teleology-of-hannah-montana/551177.md?page=2)