# The Ten Commandments of Science Fiction Films **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169 "2003-01-22T06:00:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Middlea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@Middlea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Middlea)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/41 "2003-01-22T19:34:19Z")
Thou shall have mechanical problems that are readily solved by “re-routing” the “technobabble”. OSHA is a thing of the past when working at a starship navigation consule - equivalent to a death sentence. (phaser fire hits the lower decks and the bridge consoles explode sending crewmen flying.) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/42 "2003-01-22T20:03:09Z")
Thou shall avoid plots dealing with technology, a future society, or any impact of the devices and themes shown. Instead, just make an action or horror movie in space. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/43 "2003-01-22T20:10:39Z")
Yea verily, ye must have one character who uses technology every day, but still expresses distrust of it because there are things “man was not meant to know.” ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/44 "2003-01-22T20:29:10Z")
All technology, even alien technology, is compatible with eachother. This is particularly evident within the communications system. Some attribute this to the Communication Act of Stardate 11.25.2222222 but others say it is just a plot device ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/45 "2003-01-22T20:30:39Z")
PS, Or perhaps Microsoft really took over the universe. :eep: ---
**Author:** ![Homer\_J](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c37758/32.png) [@Homer\_J](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer_J)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/46 "2003-01-22T20:45:27Z")
Despite the knowledge there is no gravity in space everything and everyone will remain perfectly positioned/seated inside their space ships. (although Star Wars et al. would be pretty stupid if everyone was floating around, how on earth could they work on those computers?, but Light Saber fights would be pretty gnarly) ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/47 "2003-01-22T21:20:08Z")
Any cute creature, like the “Muffin” of _Battlestar Galactica,_\* can suddenly mutate into a colossal, destructive creature which advances on innocent humans with an insane urge to kill or eat or both. \*Just used as an example of the nature of the creature. So far as I know Muffin did not do this. 😃 Any rational statement made by a Captain Kirk type to a villain will be interrupted by a loud shout of “silence!” by the villain. (viz: “The Corbomite Maneuver.”) No routine thing such as cleaning (custodial work), paperwork, or routine discipline is shown, let alone characters dining, using the bathroom :D, or sleeping. Anything and everything that happens is 100% germane to the plot/story line. :rolleyes: Despite what we understand from Newton’s laws of motion, no gunlike weapon fired in space has a “recoil.” As partially alluded earlier in this thread, male space people are more fully dressed than female ones; and all women critical to the plot are either beautiful (heroines) or monstrously hideous (villainesses). (And in posters, this is worse still: The poster for the original _Star Wars_ movie showed Carrie Fisher, as Princess Leia, wearing a dress with a long slit up the side.) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/48 "2003-01-22T21:43:53Z")
The reason for light travelling slowly and sound propagating through space in the future is obvious. The ether will thicken in the future. This is why spaceships will be able to make U-turns with ease. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/49 "2003-01-22T22:11:18Z")
The comet/asteroid on a collision course with Earth shall have a gravitational field strong enough to walk and/or drive a jeep on, even if it’s small enough to fit on Paramount’s LA studio lot. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/50 "2003-01-23T00:16:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dougie\_monty \* > \*\* > Any rational statement made by a Captain Kirk type to a villain will be interrupted by a loud shout of “silence!” by the villain. (viz: “The Corbomite Maneuver.”) \*\* Haha, Futurama had a bit like that once: **"Silence! You humans have already been found guilty!" “Silence! The only appropriate punishment is death.” "Silence! I concur."** ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/51 "2003-01-23T00:18:27Z")
oh, and: Robots think by applying cold, unfeeling logic. When said cold, unfeeling logic leads them to decide that all human characters must immediately be killed, the cold unfeeling robot will start to cackle like a madman. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/52 "2003-01-23T00:32:03Z")
All spacesuits shall be equipped with bright lights inside the helmets, shining directly onto the wearer’s face, even though, in real life, this would make said wearer unable to see anything but said lights. ---
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/53 "2003-01-23T01:38:38Z")
There shall be no acne in SF, evev on children, who must be prodiguos in the ways of their father, who is either dececed, evil, or both. ---
**Author:** ![joshmaker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@joshmaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joshmaker)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/54 "2003-01-23T02:12:24Z")
- Being in zero gravity will cause people to bob up and down as if they are in water. - People shall suddenly gain telepathy in the future. - Human cleverness can overcome any amount of alien knowledge and technology - Thou shalt have a classical soundtrack - Space must be conquered by western civilization - Space ships should be aerodynamic or at the very least bank like an airplane in order to turn - Above all else, science fiction in the movies must not deal with subject matter not already covered in science fiction literature at least twenty years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/55 "2003-01-23T02:43:55Z")
Spaceship combat shall require combatants to maneuver within close visual range of each other, indeed often in danger of collision. (This goes back to the problem of slow light in space, since a distant enemy has plenty of time to dodge your lasers.) Androids shall aspire toward humanity, because it makes sense that a superintelligent, essentially immortal being would want to get fat and die. No science-fiction film should have a plot that you can’t safely discuss in church. Clones? Evil. Future societies should have nothing but words of blistering contempt for every aspect of modern humanity. “Twenty-first century computers? You’d be better off with an abacus!” For some reason, there are no gay people in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix\_Dragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Phoenix\_Dragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phoenix_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/56 "2003-01-23T06:17:27Z")
I -know- I posted, but it’s something like an hour later, and it still hasn’t shown up. Let’s try this again… If you should, for whatever reason, find yourself in an environment, you shall immediatly start moooooooviiiiing veeeeeeeryyyy slooooowwwlyyyyy as a visible cue that you’re weightless (Since floating through the air or walking the walls in magnetic boots is obviously not enough of a giveaway). No matter how advanced your technology is, the ground forces of the future shall never be as good as even a modern millitary force free of these commandments. Basic laws of physics, such as ground-pressure, square-cube law, and velocity, shall not apply to any super-weapon type of vehicle. Especially mecha. Bigger is better, end of debate. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/57 "2003-01-23T07:05:36Z")
Thy main computer shalt be tied into everything on the ship\base\planet right down to the shower controlls with ineffective or non-existant manual overrides so that when the alien\evil program\madman takes over the main computer he controlls everything untill the hero manages to blow up\shut down the main computer with a paper clip. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/58 "2003-01-23T07:35:03Z")
lasers can be deflected and blocked, but no one thinks back to the “good 'ole days” and reinvents the gun. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Severus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lady\_Severus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Severus)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/59 "2003-01-23T07:59:36Z")
When thy ship is hit with the enemy’s phasers, thyself and thy crew shalt assume “blast position” against a railing in the bridge and remain there until the askew camera angle is once again righted. (Yes yes, this is mainly for TOS, but meh…) ---
**Author:** ![Achernar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e274bd/32.png) [@Achernar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achernar)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/60 "2003-01-23T08:05:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dougie\_monty \* > No routine thing such as cleaning (custodial work), paperwork, or routine discipline is shown, let alone characters dining, using the bathroom :D, or sleeping. Anything and everything that happens is 100% germane to the plot/story line. :rolleyes: Heck, that commandment applies not only to all fiction, but all storytelling as well! Travelling through time shall looketh uncannily like either going down a glowing waterslide, or jumping through a portable hole. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169.md?page=4)