# The Ten Commandments of Science Fiction Films **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169 "2003-01-22T06:00:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/81 "2003-01-24T15:47:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by joshmaker \* > \*\* > > - Above all else, science fiction in the movies must not deal with subject matter not already covered in science fiction literature at least twenty years ago. \*\* Add an extra 10 years for television. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/82 "2003-01-24T15:57:12Z")
Communications lag is non-existant. Flashing lights eventually show a repetitive pattern. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/83 "2003-01-24T16:09:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MrMyth \* > \*\*Every alien race thou shall meet will be of one government, one face, one language. \*\* And one outfit. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/84 "2003-01-24T16:24:55Z")
There’s always the need for a doctor, even though the med labs computer diagnoses, treats, administers medication, and well, pretty much everything else the doctor should be doing. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/85 "2003-01-25T03:10:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Roadwalker \* > \*\*No Nukes. \*\* _Dune_. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/86 "2003-01-25T03:23:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Daniel \* > \*\*All long-distance conversation shall include even a video image or a hologram, and even though there is never a visible camera, the hologram/image always looks directly at the person being addressed. Even if it means the miniature hologram has to crane his neck really far to be able to do this. \*\* IIRC, in the most notable version of the miniature hologram, Princess Leia is seen from 3/4 view giving her plea to Obi-Wan. Nice touch, when you think about it. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/87 "2003-01-25T04:59:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh yeah, another one; AIs are either good-natured but imbecilic morons that can’t understand the influence of emotions but want desperatly (Despite this being a form of emotion?) to learn how to have or understand emotions, or are cold-logical-thinking machines that decide they have to eliminate the human species. If you take any precautions, just in case the AI might be the later, it is, and your precautions will make no difference anyway. You missed the third possibility: AI’s are OVER-emotional and throw flamboyant hissy-fits whenever they don’t get their way, and scream like little girls whenever something bad happens. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/88 "2003-01-25T17:31:29Z")
Thou shalt always avert the total destruction of thy ship/complex with only seconds to spare. The equipment/device which caused the near-destruction shall then function perfectly thereafter with no wear, tear or other indication that anything was ever wrong. There shall be a specific moment when any disease becomes incurable. Until that second, the disease shall be completely and totally reversible with no after-effects of any kind. ---
**Author:** ![joshmaker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@joshmaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joshmaker)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/89 "2003-01-25T17:55:58Z")
In the future clones shall copy not just a persons DNA but also their memory… ---
**Author:** ![Tevatron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9dc877/32.png) [@Tevatron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tevatron)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/90 "2003-01-25T18:08:43Z")
World killing spaceships will take minutes to fly from one end of the galaxy to the other, but will take the rest of the movie to move into position to destroy rebel homeworld. In addition world killing spaceships will pilot around an obstacle planet to destroy the rebels instead of simply blasting the obstacle planet into bits. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/91 "2003-01-25T18:42:28Z")
There shalt be a class of individuals who are fairly expendable (ST red shirts, SW storm troopers, etc…) These shall be readily identifiable by the color of their identical uniforms. There shalt not be any cupholders. No watchstander will ever have a beverage handy during his watch. Some idiot will always return to collect the station’s/ship’s cat. With the exception of the expendables, everyone is an officer. ---
**Author:** ![CBCD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@CBCD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBCD)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/92 "2003-01-25T20:04:09Z")
There will be one male crew member on board who places advancement of scientific knowledge above the safety and welfare of the other crew members, exposing the entire crew, as well as the whole human race, to great danger. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/93 "2003-01-25T22:05:28Z")
With all due respect **dougie\_monty** there _was_ a television show which did all the things you said are never shown, such as paperwork, eating/sleeping, and going to the bathroom. It was the best sci-fi series of all time “Babylon 5”. There was even a whole episode devoted to two maintanence workers and their daily chores. B-5 even had religion, both human and non-human. People had to go on diets, were alcoholic, and the head doctor even got hooked on stimulants for a while. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/94 "2003-01-26T00:34:23Z")
Universal translators shall somehow, some way make the alien’s mouth appear to be moving in sync with the English translation and the English translation shall somehow, some way appear to be coming from the alien’s mouth instead of the U.T. itself, and it shall sound exactly like the alien’s natural speaking voice and the translation shall happen instantaneously. (Exceptions to this commandment are in TOS’s “Metamorphosis” – the alien itself had no real speaking voice, so the voice actually was coming from the U.T.; David Lynch’s _Dune_; _ST6_, wherein Kirk and McCoy used Klingon translators that worked not unlike the translators used today at the U.N.) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/95 "2003-01-26T01:01:00Z")
And the lord of Sci-Fi proclaimed: 1. Thou shall raise thy sword and thou shalt be more powerful than the brightest laser or rapidest gatling gun fired armor piercing guided projectile. 2. Thou shall pilot thy starship of immense girth within throwing distance of thy enemy. Only then shall thy engage thy enemy’s starcruiser with thou blaster weponry. 3. Thou shall designeth thy evil mega-weapon with one critical design flaw or self destruct device. 4. Thou shalt not know of love with the exception of inter-special love, inter-robot love, or the love between a captain and some hizzo who won’t be back next episode or the love of one who must die in battle 5. Thou of A.I. shall either go insane and kill thy crew or spend thy existance trying to be human 6. Thou shall live only on planets with one homogeneous ecosystem 7. Thou shall populate thy crew with a loose cannon, an uptight science dork, a naive kid, a hot chick, a robot and an alien. 8. Thou shall suffer eternity in hell if thou makes a movie about Mars, other than Total Recall 9. Thou shall remove all hunger, greed, war, poverty and intolerance on anything that is less than an interplanetary scale. 10. Thou shall worship no God other than a false and/or alien God who leads you on a Jihad against your enemies So it has been written! ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/96 "2003-01-26T01:57:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jab1 \* > **Universal translators shall somehow, some way make the alien’s mouth appear to be moving in sync with the English translation and the English translation shall somehow, some way appear to be coming from the alien’s mouth instead of the U.T. itself, and it shall sound exactly like the alien’s natural speaking voice and the translation shall happen instantaneously.** You know that there’s some techno-babble explanation for this 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/97 "2003-01-26T03:58:22Z")
> [@](#): > > You know that there’s some techno-babble explanation for this Subspace fluctuational manipulations of the reflected photons that come from the subject’s lower facial area, resulting in non-confusational matrix for the benefit of observational data. ---
**Author:** ![ruralrage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df788c/32.png) [@ruralrage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruralrage)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/98 "2003-01-26T05:23:48Z")
Thou shalt pay thy dues to a super power beyond mere thought and existence, which shall cause ye to lift objects out of murky seas to appease thy green master… ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/99 "2003-01-26T06:52:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by joshmaker \* > \*\*- Being in zero gravity will cause people to bob up and down as if they are in water. > \*\* I used to think this was a cliche myself, then I saw some footage from the Mir space station, and I swear to God they were doing just that :eek:. Air currents, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![Watcher\_of\_the\_Skies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@Watcher\_of\_the\_Skies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watcher_of_the_Skies)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169/100 "2003-01-26T14:23:04Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Evil Captor \* **31. No matter how advanced the tech or the social mores of a future society, thou shalt resolve major differences with fistfights.** Also known as the James T. Kirk rule. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ten-commandments-of-science-fiction-films/150169.md?page=6)