# The tenets of Og? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 14, 2004, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085 "2004-05-14T06:53:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/41 "2004-05-21T17:22:52Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Broccoli, which I initially spelled wrong, puts out a sexual display that’s about 1/3 the size of the whole plant. That’s something you or I could only dream of doing, and if we could, the whole world would say we were cute, cute, cute. 😃 **AskNott** , being as I am female, I think if I could even dream of doing this, I’d have to kill myself, because I could never scrub the image from my brain. Uh, if you could do it, I think the female world would be too busy running like hell away from you to say you were cute, cute, cute. Men tend to vastly overestimate the appeal of size… ---
**Author:** ![Tiggrkitty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggrkitty/32/17966_2.png) [@Tiggrkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiggrkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/42 "2004-05-24T16:49:57Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > 1. Og wants smart believers. Be not stupid. > > 2. Og is great. You OK, but not great. Og love you anyway. > > 3. Do not worship false Ogs, such as Fi’ty Cent or Kid Rock. > > 4. Coveting thy neighbor’s wife’s ass can be risky; Og gonna watch over you…with amusement. > > 5. Og much cooler than you. Get over it. > > 6. Be not jerk. Og love you, but Og Smash! > > 7. Rob not neighbor’s liquor store. Og’s wife nephew owns one, OK? > > 8. Pretty sunrise? Work of Og. Praise Og. Og like that. Humor Og. > > 9. Want Og’s help in your softball game? Forget it; Og very busy Og, you on own. > > 10. Eat not poison ivy, not fun. If eat snails, Og not want know. Not tell Og. Thanks AskNott. Now I am having flashbacks of Everquest, and I quit playing 2 years ago! ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/43 "2004-05-24T17:49:58Z")
Do Oglers Ogle to Og? OG: OGLE TO OG, or OG SMASH!! ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/44 "2004-05-24T18:37:31Z")
> [@screech-owl](#): > > Some deities demand burnt offerings from their followers. I burning your Og. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/45 "2004-05-24T18:54:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by screech-owl > Some deities demand burnt offerings from their followers. > [@Biffy the Elephant Shrew](#): > > I burning your Og. All burnt offerings to OG must be ignited withj a 1920’s Style Death Ray. ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/46 "2004-05-24T19:13:53Z")
I am beginning to invision a poster: **Got Og?** Then, shirts with small Gotogs embroidered on the chest… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/47 "2004-05-24T19:22:48Z")
If we all put **Oglism** as our religion in the next polls, will it become an actual religion, like the Jedis? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/48 "2004-05-24T20:08:40Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > 1. Og am what Og am. Is that all that Og am? If so, maybe Ogmandment #15 is ‘There is no Og but Og, and Popeye is his prophet.’ ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/49 "2004-05-24T21:16:12Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Is that all that Og am? If so, maybe Ogmandment #15 is ‘There is no Og but Og, and Popeye is his prophet.’ I was thinking more of “I am that I am,” from that other deity, but it came out more like my hero of the last 50 years, Popeye. Og could do a lot worse than having Popeye as His Prophet. By the way, I never intended that **racinchikki** and I would be the only spokeshumans for Og. The spirit might come upon you, too. Yes, you! Og is an equal opportunity Og. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/50 "2004-05-24T21:24:02Z")
> [@AvhHines](#): > > **AskNott** , being as I am female, I think if I could even dream of doing this, I’d have to kill myself, because I could never scrub the image from my brain. > > Uh, if you could do it, I think the female world would be too busy running like hell away from you to say you were cute, cute, cute. Men tend to vastly overestimate the appeal of size… Mmmm…you have sex with Og…Og give you Ogasm…mmmmm ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/51 "2004-05-25T00:26:21Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Mmmm…you have sex with Og…Og give you Ogasm…mmmmm :eek: ---
**Author:** ![633squadron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/ee59a6/32.png) [@633squadron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/633squadron)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/52 "2004-05-25T01:33:22Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > 1. Og wants smart believers. Be not stupid. In beginning, earth was dark. Og say “What happen to light?” Og make light. Then Og say “Hey, feet are wet.” So Og divide water from water. Upper water Og call sky. Lower water Og call swimming pool. Og stand on dry ground. Og call it “sidewalk.” Og say “You betcha!” ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/53 "2004-05-25T03:22:41Z")
Fellow traveller of Ogler, Ogpal. Hi Ogpal ! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/54 "2004-05-25T03:38:47Z")
Og says do not leave flaming dog poo on neighbors porch. Paybacks are sponsored by Og’s Wife, Bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/55 "2004-05-25T04:11:26Z")
Og help me, I’m such a dork. I opened my bead catalog today and priced out the beads for a “W.W.O.D.?” bracelet. I was hoping to find a little charm or bead in the shape of a sledgehammer or something to represent the answer to that eternal question. I didn’t find one, but there are companies that stock zillions of different charms, so I’ll find one eventually. Heh. I just had an idea: The Straight Dope Charm Bracelet. It could include: –Og’s smashing hammer. –A question mark to represent our quest to fight ignorance. –An opal, with two tiny alphabet beads spelling “hi” –A hamster –A sock –A finger pointing–Gotcha ya! Really, the possibilities are endless. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/56 "2004-05-25T04:16:47Z")
**Beaner** the hamster would have to be dead. There would have to be a burning dog, something to indicate a Religion War and a Political War, and some how a -\> :wally \<— and a -----\> ;j \<------. I would most definately wear it. Cause I’m a dork, too. All Hail Og! ---
**Author:** ![Beauty\_Personified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Beauty\_Personified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beauty_Personified)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/57 "2004-05-25T06:25:52Z")
I just have to ask… What if Og were one of us? And were SpongeGar and Pattar disciples of Og? Anyhoo… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/58 "2004-05-25T08:15:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Heh. I just had an idea: The Straight Dope Charm Bracelet. That would need WWCD [Cecil] on there, or some variation on it, like “What Would Cecil Know?” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Seventh\_Deadly\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6bbea6/32.png) [@The\_Seventh\_Deadly\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/59 "2004-05-25T11:39:11Z")
Go, Og. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085/60 "2004-05-25T11:46:04Z")
> [@thetruewheel](#): > > Go, Og. NO! OG STAY! _You_ go! Or OG SMASH! Unless you let OG borrow your bicycle. Then maybe OG go. You want OG bring back Chinese Carry-Out? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tenets-of-og/245085.md?page=4)