# The theme of modern life: "Everyone's always so busy!!" Is there anyone like me who is NOT busy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2019, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973 "2019-06-03T19:28:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/21 "2019-06-04T02:59:00Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > … > Someone wise once told me that I don’t owe anyone the unvarnished truth, especially if sharing it makes me uncomfortable… I would say you don’t owe anyone the unvarnished truth PERIOD. Whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/22 "2019-06-04T04:09:03Z")
Yep, I’m pretty close to the OP. I do a little volunteer work, and I’m married, but no other obligations. My husband does most of the housework and any cooking that gets done; my job is to take care of various repairs and projects around the house. My problem is, there is always tomorrow. When I was working, I had to jam all those things into the weekends or vacations, and so I was motivated to get them done. Now, if I don’t feel like doing something, and I often don’t, I can now procrastinate like hell. As for that question about how I’m keeping busy, I hate it too. I think most people who ask it just don’t know what to say to someone who is retired and has no particular obligations. I fell into answering it a couple of times and always felt like I had to justify myself to other people. Not any more, The next person who asks is going to pretty much get the smart-ass answer. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/23 "2019-06-04T05:28:18Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > It actually won’t be fibbing to say “I’m going to do a little traveling and a little volunteering and some hiking”, because I most certainly will do those things once I stop working full time. I just won’t be doing them enough to stay “busy” with them, except for maybe the last one. > > Someone wise once told me that I don’t owe anyone the unvarnished truth, especially if sharing it makes me uncomfortable. I can let someone form their own mental picture just by giving them a general outline. I’m not ashamed that I’m not the busiest person in the world, but I also don’t have to give people a reason to share their negative commentary. I can handle an artful exaggeration of the truth. I am really bad at deflecting general shittery. > > “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU’RE GOING TO GO HKING IN THE WILDERNESS!!! THAT AIN’T NO GOOD RETIREMENT!!! YOU’RE GOING TO BE THAT OLD LADY WHO FALLS OFF THE CLIFF!!! WE’RE GOING TO CALL YOU GRIZZLY ADAMS!!!” You could do the PCT or something. That’d be a lot of fun. I got kids so I stay relatively busy. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/24 "2019-06-04T15:24:29Z")
My job allows me to work from home. What’s more, I meet my daily work quota by about 1:00 p.m. most days, earlier other days. Once I’m done with work, I have absolutely nothing going on. Yes, there are household chores to do – there are _always_ household chores to do – but with no kids it’s not like I’m stepping over them to get them done. Being in a constant state of “not busy” has its downsides. I’m bored AF a lot of the time, a situation not helped by the fact that I live in a rural area where there is Jack Shit to do. I’ve tried to find new hobbies, but there are expenses involved, and other limitations. Still, on-balance I’d take boredom over constant busy-ness any day of the week. ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/25 "2019-06-04T15:25:50Z")
Speaking specifically about work, everyone says they’re incredibly busy but then you notice how much time people waste doing non-productive things… I have a decent workload but I’m very quick at what I do so I find myself with quite a bit of downtime. I don’t know if that will last forever but I appreciate it for now. My family all live in other states so I don’t see them more than a few times a year. My husband’s family is closer and we see them once in a while. We have partial custody of a dog and I do most of the chores around here. And I still wouldn’t consider myself “busy.” I’m not sure what life will be like when I’m able to retire. I’m thinking I will probably want to take up a part-time volunteer gig just so I don’t sit at home all day eating cheez-its 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/26 "2019-06-04T21:28:16Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Being “busy” is a status symbol now. TRUTH! My mom, retired some 15+ years now, lives alone since dad died 5 years ago (Dayum, has it been that long?). Most days she literally has nothing that she needs to do. She will tell me at every opportunity, though, how BUSY she is. All the time, just so busy. She’ll sweep the carport 5 times a day during pollen and leaf season, keeps the house so that one could at off any given surface, insists on driving to various offices to ask a question instead of picking up the phone. It’s manufactured busy. In my amateur psychologist opinion it’s because she still hasn’t dealt with dad’s death. If she stops “doing” for a minute she has to deal with those thoughts. Me? I have a director level job at a Fortune 500 company, a smallish organic farm, three grown kids, 2 grand kids, 5 goats, 3 dogs and a cat. Yeah, I’m pretty busy. I still take time to do crap like post here, play golf and softball, hunt, fish, etc., so I must not be overly busy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/27 "2019-06-04T21:40:24Z")
Thelma, are you looking to take on a dependent? I’ve got a lot of free time now. Lost my job. Got divorced. All my dogs died. All within a few months of each other…oh, then I wrecked my car (sober even!) Nothing to do but drink my unemployment away and play mafia on giraffe… ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/28 "2019-06-04T21:54:53Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Thelma, are you looking to take on a dependent? I’ve got a lot of free time now. Lost my job. Got divorced. All my dogs died. All within a few months of each other…oh, then I wrecked my car (sober even!) Nothing to do but drink my unemployment away and play mafia on giraffe… Aw, honey… so sweet of you to offer to bring meaning and structure to my life. 🙂 Tell ya what: why don’t you write some more of those great Southern novels that got you the Nobel Prize? From your post, it sounds like you’ve got tons of plot material right there, bless your heart! (Seriously, I’m sorry about your doggies. About the job and divorce, too, but more about the doggies. ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2019, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/29 "2019-06-04T23:33:48Z")
Got nothin’ to do and all the time to not do it. I off-road with dogs everyday, but only if we feel like it. Hell, I could kill an hour on the phone if I had someone to talk to. I’m actually looking forward to going to the DMV tomorrow! ---
**Author:** ![glowacks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/glowacks/32/5548_2.png) [@glowacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glowacks)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/30 "2019-06-05T01:22:06Z")
I try very hard not to be busy. I’m usually very successful. I save most of my earnings so that I can be even more successful in the future by not having to work, instead of spending it on things that will bring fleeting contentment surrounded on all sides by stress. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/31 "2019-06-05T13:21:27Z")
♫ Well, I’m so tired of losing- I got nothing to do And all day to do it Well, I’d go out cruisin’, but I’ve no place to go And all night to get there Is it any wonder I’m not a criminal? Is it any wonder I’m not in jail? [Chorus] Is it any wonder I’ve got too much time on my hands? It’s ticking away with my sanity I’ve got too much time on my hands It’s hard to believe such a calamity I’ve got too much time on my hands And it’s ticking away, ticking away from me Too much time on my hands (It’s t-t-t-t-ticking away) Too much time on my hands (And I don’t know what to do with myself) Too much time on my hands ♫ ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/32 "2019-06-05T13:34:23Z")
I still work a full time job, but I work from home and I’m not over-burdened with work. I can roll out of bed at 7:00, start my day and easily be done at 3:30 - 4:00. During that time I can still manage to feed horses and dogs, mow the lawn, do the dishes, tend to my new bee hives. I gave up TV, so I don’t spend my time on that (although there are a couple shows I watch online). In the evenings I read or surf the web. I’m not “busy”, but I’m not bored. I own my home, no mortgage. Debt-free except for a small mortgage on a rental home I own. A good bit of savings. I’m female, 57 and single. StG ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/33 "2019-06-05T21:00:49Z")
♫Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way. Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.♫ ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/34 "2019-06-05T21:31:48Z")
I have a job and kids but I wouldn’t say I’m busy. I don’t like having activities that butt up against others and just don’t schedule myself that way. If I’m going out for dinner with someone I will try and make it on a day off with another day off afterwards. Or if that’s not possible, I’ll do it after an early finish from work and before a late start the next day. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/35 "2019-06-05T22:15:22Z")
Right now, no. My new job doesn’t start for 2 weeks. The nanny takes care of the kids during the day and the wife works. Other than getting the kids ready in the morning, running the occasional errand and straightening up around the house, I don’t have a whole lot of obligations. “Busy” is over rated. I keep seeing all these bullshit “hustle culture” videos on YouTube telling people to “develop skills” and start “side gigs” so they can become millionaire entrepreneurs or whatever. Like there’s an entire industry of bullshit artists using social media to make money by making videos about using all your free time to make money on social media, targeted towards the very idiots who have the sort of free time to make those sort of videos. I’m 46 FWIW. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2019, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/36 "2019-06-05T23:46:14Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Being “busy” is a status symbol now. Being able to brag about your multiple hobbies, side hustles, and social activities on social media is a way to broadcast to others your importance and value in the world. So an ad that “reminds” you of how busy you are is just “reminding” you how cool and important you are, to have so many things going on. This nails it. I have two jobs; sometimes I go two or three weeks without a day off, and some days I have very little free time. But I almost never use the word “busy” to describe my life. It sounds arrogant. Plus, I think I manage my time well, so I’m seldom stressed out or rushing from place to place to do everything I need to do. In fact, come to think of it, “busy” is more often than not a synonym for “poor time management.” ---
**Author:** ![UnwittingAmericans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d9b06d/32.png) [@UnwittingAmericans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwittingAmericans)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2019, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/37 "2019-06-06T18:03:55Z")
There’s a handful of people that are legit busy. The rest are so “busy” dicking around on their phones all day that they then have to rush around to do the few things they’re actually required to, and they characterize THAT as being busy. It’s complete bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2019, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/38 "2019-06-06T19:15:47Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I’m engaged Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/39 "2019-06-06T20:17:09Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Congratulations! Sigh. Not THAT kind of engaged. :rolleyes: But thanks. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2019, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973/40 "2019-06-08T00:25:52Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > It’s the child-having that eats up all the spare time. People who don’t have children are as busy or free as they choose to be. Turns out that, given a choice, people prefer not to be insanely busy. The great thing about kids is that they’re a joy, a ton of work, a constant worry, keep you up too late… and then, they’re gone! Our youngest left town early, coinciding with eldest heading off to college. Empty nest! Then the dog left too :~( and we are FREE! First thing we did was a trip to… Schaumburg, Illinois (don’t laugh, Barbados doesn’t have an IKEA right next to a Container Store) > [@](#): > > It’s a blessing not to be busy; if that’s what you’ve chosen, more power to you. Since then I have made constant decisions to jettison or not take on duties that would interfere with my Not Doin’ Nothin’ Time. Drives my wife and coworkers crazy, but I’m typing this on my porch with a beer, watching paddleboats and seagulls. While my wife is grocery shopping without me: “Well, hon, I’ll come _if you think it’ll go faster_ with me along…” “Nope, and it’ll be cheaper if you’re not tossing crap into the cart.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-theme-of-modern-life-everyones-always-so-busy-is-there-anyone-like-me-who-is-not-busy/834973.md?page=1)