# The thing that fascinates me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 11, 2009, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374 "2009-10-11T02:54:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/21 "2009-10-11T06:33:35Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > I’ve encountered young women who won’t believe any warning you give them. Not only about all guys wanting sex but also control, dominance and potential abuse. (And to hear some tell it, actual abuse as well.) Every warning given by girl and guy friends about a potentially abusive boyfriend just meets with a giggling "tee hee! But he _loooves_ me and he’s so sweet if you _really_ knew him . . . " Of course, I’ve met girls who have dozens of male friends (and “friends”) hovering around them at all times, but are too worried about dating them because they’ve become paranoid they’ll just leave and not even be friends after they fuck (my response: “do you really want to stay friends then?”). It works both ways, but I don’t think most girls are on the extreme of either scale. A good number may start out on the too trusting side, I’m sure, but when they do they (sadly) tend to get disabused of that notion quickly. > [@omgzebras](#): > > Aren’t you just a peach. [OMG! You used the name of a princess as an insult. Misogynist!](http://images1.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Peach-Paper-Mario-princess-peach-1120729_760_1465.jpg) (Just to make it clear: :D) ---
**Author:** ![lurking\_guest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2acd7d/32.png) [@lurking\_guest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurking_guest)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/22 "2009-10-11T06:52:48Z")
Oh for Pete’s sake… just waiting for the fathers on this board to agree that they wouldn’t want teenage males to promise blue skies and forever to their daughters ( as, of course, they will…) and then, to make judgments about whether or not these young males MEAN it… and just what it MAY mean to their daughters… C’mon you guys…are you willing to STAND UP for those boys whirling around your daughters? Their innocence? Their good intentions? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/23 "2009-10-11T06:53:00Z")
I’m a father of an 11 year old girl. And when the time comes in a couple (few?) years, I plan on going saying almost everything **omgzebras** just laid out here: [QUOTE=omgzebras] I would have told my daughter from the start that some guys will say absolutely anything to get laid. I would have told her that it’s difficult to tell which guys are sincere and which are just players and that the best method to separate the two is to make them wait. A guy that’s just after one thing and one thing only isn’t going to pretend interest for 2-3 months (I’m assuming they’re young, if older, assume numer of dates instead of months). A guy that really likes a girl will be wrapped around her finger for that amount of time and then some. Sure he might be eager to ‘take it to the next level,’ but he will wait nonetheless. If even after my telling her this (and while I don’t have kids of my own, I’ve heard rumors that, from time to time, they may not listen to everything you say) she still fell into some young Romeo’s trap, I would try to let her know that she is young and that young romance doesn’t always last as long as the participants might expect. She should take reasonable precautions to ensure that her young romance doesn’t turn into a lifelong obligation, and if things don’t work out she should know that the guy was just a stupid asshole anyway and that she could and certainly will do so much better in the future. [/QUOTE] It’s great advice. Younger guys usually have a powerful libido, and an underdeveloped sense of empathy. Most grow out of this, but the teens and twenties can be the most difficult to navigate between some girls naiveté and most guys “one thing on their minds”. What makes you think I wouldn’t be honest about my daughter when the time comes? ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/24 "2009-10-11T07:01:58Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > Oh for Pete’s sake… > > just waiting for the fathers on this board to agree that they wouldn’t want teenage males to promise blue skies and forever to their daughters ( as, of course, they will…) > > and then, to make judgments about whether or not these young males MEAN it… > > and just what it MAY mean to their daughters… > > C’mon you guys…are you willing to STAND UP for those boys whirling around your daughters? > > Their innocence? > > Their good intentions? Why the fuck should they tell you anything when you’ll just tell them that they’re lying? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/25 "2009-10-11T07:12:15Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > Oh for Pete’s sake… > > just waiting for the fathers on this board to agree that they wouldn’t want teenage males to promise blue skies and forever to their daughters ( as, of course, they will…) > > and then, to make judgments about whether or not these young males MEAN it… > > and just what it MAY mean to their daughters… > > C’mon you guys…are you willing to STAND UP for those boys whirling around your daughters? > > Their innocence? > > Their good intentions? > [@omgzebras](#): > > Why the fuck should they tell you anything when you’ll just tell them that they’re lying? I’m actually having trouble parsing this last one of **lurking guest’s** post. Maybe it’s all the abundant paragraph spaces, the wrong and prolific use of ellipses, or the random caps, but I really can’t tell what she wants fathers to admit to. Whose innocence and good intentions? Standing up for what sort of guys? You’re lumping an awful lot of presumptions and generalizations in here. What’s your angle here **lurking guest?** You seem incendiary and coy. Not a very good combo for an OP, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/26 "2009-10-11T07:31:12Z")
Maybe all dads are secret paedos? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/27 "2009-10-11T07:36:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve encountered young women who won’t believe any warning you give them. Not only about all guys wanting sex but also control, dominance and potential abuse. (And to hear some tell it, actual abuse as well.) Every warning given by girl and guy friends about a potentially abusive boyfriend just meets with a giggling "tee hee! But he loooves me and he’s so sweet if you really knew him . . . " Ah yes…they are either Pink Red Sox Hat Girls (the type who regularly date douchebags/Yah Dudes/ DumbAss Fratboy types) or really naive/emotionaly delayed/dysfunctional. ---
**Author:** ![lurking\_guest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2acd7d/32.png) [@lurking\_guest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurking_guest)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/28 "2009-10-11T07:51:33Z")
What’s your angle here lurking guest? You seem incendiary and coy. Not a very good combo for an OP, IMHO. Sorry. I’ve forgotten in the last sixyt years that ALL fathers have a “sit down” with their daughters and tell them what their teenage boyfriends want… Have a good ‘heart-to-heart’ and let their daughters know that young males will do/say almost anything to get into _someones_pants. And yes, I know that NONE of you know what I’m talking about. Men don’t, of course, think of females as sex objects. Boys in the ages of 13-16 - older boys of 17-21, don’t think of females as sex objects. Men older than 21 through the ages of 60-something to death, DO NOT think of females as sex objects. Nope. They don’t. Not ever. Lucky wives. Lucky females who believe their SIGNIFICANT OTHERS think they have the only ‘body’ ‘minds’ or ‘souls’ that could ever engage the males in their lives… when the males… know different… BUT claim to love someone “Forever.” Can you imagine? !! “Love” someone commited to their hopes, dreams, work situation… …unless…something better comes along. But wait… Better to stay with what one has. (And keep on just “peeping” at the porno} Better this than sharing half of the material gains of one’s life with a female one has tied himself to… And the children… Tough darts what you think, CMYK Men like Shodan who have forever given themselves to their wives and families …they hang on… But still, I wonder what they will tell their daughters… ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/29 "2009-10-11T08:09:54Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > I’ve forgotten in the last sixyt years that ALL fathers have a “sit down” with their daughters and tell them what their teenage boyfriends want.. No, not all fathers do. You know this. We know this. Good fathers do though. There is such a thing. > [@](#): > > And yes, > I know that NONE of you know what I’m talking about. Yes we do. We are trying to communicate with you on this subject but you are making it as hard as possible to do so. > [@](#): > > Men don’t, of course, think of females as sex objects. Yes we do, sometimes. Not always though, which I know is just gonna shock the fuck out of you. > [@](#): > > Boys in the ages of 13-16 - older boys of 17-21, don’t think of females as sex objects. Yes they do, sometimes. Not always though, which I know is just gonna shock the fuck out of you. > [@](#): > > Men older than 21 through the ages of 60-something to death, DO NOT think of females as sex objects. Yes they do, sometimes. Not always though, which I know is just gonna shock the fuck out of you. > [@](#): > > Nope. Yes! Sometimes. > [@](#): > > They don’t. They do! Sometimes. > [@](#): > > Not ever. No! Sometimes! > [@](#): > > Lucky wives. > Lucky females who believe their SIGNIFICANT OTHERS think they have the only ‘body’ ‘minds’ or ‘souls’ that could ever engage the males in their lives… > when the males… > > know different… > > BUT claim to love someone “Forever.” > > Can you imagine? !! You got your ass dumped, didn’t you? That’s what this mostly incoherent tirade is all about. Some guy dumped you like a load of caliche at a construction site and now you’re all bitter and crazy, is that it? > [@](#): > > “Love” someone commited to their hopes, dreams, work situation… > > …unless…something better comes along. Hint, guys get dumped too. It’s true! > [@](#): > > Men like Shodan who have forever given themselves to their wives and families …they hang on.. Oh my sweet merciful heaven a Shodan groupie. Holy shit. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/30 "2009-10-11T09:54:39Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > What’s your angle here lurking guest? You seem incendiary and coy. Not a very good combo for an OP, IMHO. > > Sorry. > > I’ve forgotten in the last sixyt years that ALL fathers have a “sit down” with their daughters and tell them what their teenage boyfriends want.. > > Have a good ‘heart-to-heart’ and let their daughters know that young males will do/say almost anything to get into _someones_pants. > > And yes, > I know that NONE of you know what I’m talking about. > > Men don’t, of course, think of females as sex objects. > > Boys in > > the ages of 13-16 - older boys of 17-21, don’t think of females as sex objects. > > Men older than 21 through the ages of 60-something to death, DO NOT think of females as sex objects. > > Nope. > > They don’t. > > Not ever. > > Lucky wives. > Lucky females who believe their SIGNIFICANT OTHERS think they have the only ‘body’ ‘minds’ or ‘souls’ that could ever engage the males in their lives… > when the males… > > know different… > > BUT claim to love someone “Forever.” > > Can you imagine? !! > > “Love” someone commited to their hopes, dreams, work situation… > > …unless…something better comes along. > > But wait… > > Better to stay with what one has. (And keep on just “peeping” at the porno} > > Better this than sharing half of the material gains of one’s life with a female one has tied himself to… > > And the children… > > Tough darts what you think, CMYK > > Men like Shodan who have forever given themselves to their wives and families …they hang on.. > > But still, I wonder what they will tell their daughters… Bwa-ha-ha!! This thread should be made a sticky so we can always remember why it’s not a good idea to post while intoxicated. (And obviously bitter about something.) Seriously **LG** , I hope you feel better when you sleep it off. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/31 "2009-10-11T10:14:10Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Bwa-ha-ha!! > > This thread should be made a sticky so we can always remember why it’s not a good idea to post while intoxicated. (And obviously bitter about something.) > > Seriously **LG** , I hope you feel better when you sleep it off. No, LG **always** reads like this. See the post history. ---
**Author:** ![NineToTheSky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5a626/32.png) [@NineToTheSky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NineToTheSky)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/32 "2009-10-11T12:39:47Z")
I think we’re supposed to read between the lines. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/33 "2009-10-11T14:42:09Z")
It’s making my head hurt. Look, **lurking guest** , there are two problems with your thread. One is that you seem to be suffering from an overdose of ellipses. Your posts are difficult to read because of this. If you want people to read your posts and consider your thoughts, you are going about it the wrong way. Second is that you have already made up your mind about your OP. From one old bat to another, I find this offensive: > [@lurking\_guest](#): > > Come on Fathers. > > Disagree with me if you will. > > But I will never believe you. You’re trying to say that all the fathers I know and love (husband, brother, dad, son) are guilty of the things you outline in your OP. I call bullshit. Can you not come up with a more coherent discussion?? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/34 "2009-10-11T16:05:12Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > (What a clueless, well, asshole…) > [@lurking\_guest](#): > > (..dip shit..) > [@omgzebras](#): > > You loathsome person. You come on here and you accuse me of lying. You accuse me of misogyny. I ask you for one single instance, one small piece of evidence to back up your claims, and instead of admitting you have nothing you toss out some childish insult and a bit a snotty attitude. Aren’t you just a peach. Insults are not allowed in this forum, so this is a warning to both **lurking guest** and **omgzebras** to stop the bickering immediately. Everyone else is also advised to avoid direct insults. **lurking guest** , you’re not making yourself clear. Please explain your thoughts a little more fully and use full paragraphs. It might help. ---
**Author:** ![lurking\_guest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2acd7d/32.png) [@lurking\_guest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurking_guest)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/35 "2009-10-11T16:19:19Z")
Okey doke. All I ever asked is why fathers don’t tell their female children about males true intentions while in their teenage, formative years. They “worry” about their daughters. Long screeds and serious papers, stand-up comedies and countless jokes are offered in the public domain about how fathers concern themselves with the young swains “courting” their daughters. My only question has been…why, if fathers are so concerned, do they NOT sit down with their daughters and “spill the beans” about male intention? How simple is that? Cripes. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/36 "2009-10-11T16:23:37Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > Maybe YOU would have told your daughter that males will say anything in order to get laid…(which I seriously doubt) but most fathers won’t. > \ > (Unless you can provide some proof of the differences in the way you snagged their mothers.) Neither my father nor my married brother “snagged” their women like that. My parents mentioned that some guys would (not that I needed them to, by that time), but there was no reason to say that “all” men will, since not all men will. The guys I dated who said what they thought I wanted to hear and not what they really believed were so transparent you could have used them for window panes. Your mileage, like your notions of proper punctuation, may vary. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/37 "2009-10-11T16:46:36Z")
> [@lurking\_guest](#): > > Okey doke. > > All I ever asked is why fathers don’t tell their female children about males true intentions while in their teenage, formative years. > > They “worry” about their daughters. Long screeds and serious papers, stand-up comedies and countless jokes are offered in the public domain about how fathers concern themselves with the young swains “courting” their daughters. > > My only question has been…why, if fathers are so concerned, do they NOT sit down with their daughters and “spill the beans” about male intention? How simple is that? > > Cripes. Let me explain something to you. You better sit down. Fathers _do_ do this. The more proactive ones anyway. Also, women can objectify men too. Also, guys can be just as empathetic, caring and vulnerable as women. And, of course, there are guys _and girls_ out there who are abusive and selfish and who will never grow up or keep their word. It’s part of human nature, but by no means only something men do. Women use men all the time. Just because bad shit has happened to you, doesn’t mean this is how _everyone_ behaves. You’ve been burned. Take a deep breath, deal with it, and try and surround yourself with better people. I have. They’re out there, use some common sense. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/38 "2009-10-11T17:07:36Z")
And not ALL young teen males are after only ONE thing. There is no one more romantic and idealistic than a boy in the throes of his first crush. Are the vast majority of teen males randy bastards? Randy, yes, bastards–not so much. It is possible to raise decent, empathetic males. Then again, hormones are powerful things, but for most males (IMO) it is a phase (one devoutly hopes). What is with the sexism in the OP? Teen females are likely to be just as randy as the males. Being pressured for sex is not a one way male–\> female street, no matter the age of the individuals. I am 😕 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/39 "2009-10-11T17:38:45Z")
Why should fathers have to explain anything? My only rules are: 1. Don’t get pregnant 2. Don’t get a disease Beyond that, girls are free to get as much sex as guys. Its fun, so go for it. I think there is something psychologically wrong with men who are overprotective about their daughters. Let them fuck, its fun, you do it to their mothers all the time right? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374/40 "2009-10-11T18:38:36Z")
I hear what you’re saying YogSosoth, and sure, some fathers are _way_ overprotective. In the case of teenagers, it’s all to obvious how willy nilly teens can be. Teen pregnancy is a huge issue (especially if they’re a minor… in which case the idea of your daughter having sex is horrifying). Like other teen “fun” they might experiment with (e.g. pot, drinking, etc.), the consequences can be _hugely_ life-altering, especially if your daughter gets pregnant, cuz y’know, sex is fun! _pops bubble gum bubble_ Things have consequences, and it’s not unreasonable to try and educate your child of these things, as well as even actively protect them and keep an eye on them if they’re still under your supervision. Boys too. When they’re in their 20s, then yes, you have to back way off as a parent, but by then, if you haven’t gotten through to them, you never will. Some teens are way more mature than others, but the vast majority just don’t have the life experience needed to make smart decisions in that regard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thing-that-fascinates-me/513374.md?page=3)