# The Thing's Dick (Fantastic Four) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2007, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765 "2007-04-12T05:59:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gentle\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gentle\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gentle_Robot)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/1 "2007-04-12T05:59:17Z")
Is it covered in rock like the rest of his skin? Does it work? I mean, he’s got to be able to pee at least, right? Would it tear a woman apart? Have they ever covered this in the comics? I recall he had a long-lasting love interest, Alicia Masters, but I don’t recall any Thinglings. Did he ever try to get it on with [She-Thing](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-Thing)? ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/2 "2007-04-12T06:01:06Z")
It works just fine… …it just spews sand. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/3 "2007-04-12T06:03:19Z")
Wouldn’t it always be hard? ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/4 "2007-04-12T06:21:57Z")
[QUOTE=Gentle Robot] Did he ever try to get it on with [She-Thing](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She-Thing)? [/QUOTE] Yes. First series, issue #317, page 9. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/5 "2007-04-12T12:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] Wouldn’t it always be hard? [/QUOTE] after four hours he should consult a physician. I had a friend who had an orange dick but that’s because his two favorite things were porn mags and Cheeto’s. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/6 "2007-04-12T12:31:04Z")
[QUOTE=cosmosdan] after four hours he should consult a physician. I had a friend who had an orange dick but that’s because his two favorite things were porn mags and Cheeto’s. [/QUOTE] I read this some five minutes ago and have just managed to crawl back off the floor to the keyboard (wipes tear from eye…) ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/7 "2007-04-12T12:56:42Z")
[QUOTE=scotandrsn] I read this some five minutes ago and have just managed to crawl back off the floor to the keyboard (wipes tear from eye…) [/QUOTE] you’re welcome 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/8 "2007-04-12T13:16:04Z")
Dude, that isn’t even the most intriguing dick\*\* in his own supergroup\*\*. Mr. Fantastic could ream Sue out from the next room. You didn’t think his superhero name referred to his crime-fighting prowess, did you? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/9 "2007-04-12T13:29:46Z")
Does it burn when The Human Torch pees? ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/10 "2007-04-12T13:47:55Z")
Shoulda titled this thread “Thing’s thing” Then we could have referred to the thread as the “Thing’s thing thing.” ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/11 "2007-04-12T13:52:51Z")
I remember Fred Hembeck having Susan Richards being interviewed for a women’s magazine… Interviewer: Mrs. Richards, our readers would like to know…what is your favorite room for…you know, having fun? Sue: The kitchen…from the bedroom. Interviewer: Surely you mean the kitchen _and_ the bedroom, don’t you? Sue (with a wink): Why do you think they call him Mr. Fantastic? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/12 "2007-04-12T14:52:37Z")
Then, if the Fantastic Four met the Addams Family…? ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/13 "2007-04-12T14:54:29Z")
[QUOTE=Gentle Robot] Is it covered in rock like the rest of his skin? Does it work? I mean, he’s got to be able to pee at least, right? Would it tear a woman apart? Have they ever covered this in the comics? [/QUOTE] [Stan Lee was asked this question once.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113749/) As I recall, he declined to give any real answer. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/14 "2007-04-12T15:19:10Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Does it burn when The Human Torch pees? [/QUOTE] That’s Amoxicilly. ---
**Author:** ![Nature\_s\_Call](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nature_s_call/32/19006_2.png) [@Nature\_s\_Call](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nature_s_Call)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/15 "2007-04-12T15:41:54Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Then, if the Fantastic Four met the Addams Family…? [/QUOTE] You should be jailed at Thing Thing thailor! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/16 "2007-04-12T15:48:22Z")
Is that columnar jointing or are you just glad to seamy? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/17 "2007-04-12T15:56:25Z")
And if part of his skin is chiselled off his upper body, does it grow back, or will he always have a chip on his shoulder? (A somewhat-related side note - I’m glad they’ve started drawing bulges on the boy heroes. It was awfully weird-looking for all these manly men to be running around in tights with blank spaces where their crotch should be.) ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/18 "2007-04-12T20:34:19Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Dude, that isn’t even the most intriguing dick\*\* in his own supergroup\*\*. Mr. Fantastic could ream Sue out from the next room. You didn’t think his superhero name referred to his crime-fighting prowess, did you? [/QUOTE] In the Fantastic Four anniversary special (which was a story about Reed and Sue’s wedding anniversary), Sue turns to Reed at one point and tells him ‘You have the best superpower ever.’ ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/19 "2007-04-12T20:38:06Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] Then, if the Fantastic Four met the Addams Family…? [/QUOTE] His thing would fester? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/20 "2007-04-12T20:41:09Z")
Not to interrupt the hilarious joke-fest, but I always figured the Thing had _no_ dick, and that’s why he was always trying to get turned back into Ben Grimm. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765.md?page=2)