# The Thing's Dick (Fantastic Four) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2007, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765 "2007-04-12T05:59:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/21 "2007-04-12T21:12:44Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Does it burn when The Human Torch pees? [/QUOTE] Napalm… ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/22 "2007-04-12T21:48:41Z")
Lava ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/23 "2007-04-12T22:12:09Z")
When Sue ever got mad at Reed and wanted to punish him, do you think she ever put a force field, y’know, down…there? Or worse, do you think she ever put a really, really supersmall force field right around Reed’s own…um…thing? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/24 "2007-04-12T22:19:06Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Dude, that isn’t even the most intriguing dick\*\* in his own supergroup\*\*. Mr. Fantastic could ream Sue out from the next room. [/QUOTE] And I bet you aren’t surprised that there’s cartoon porn showing exactly that. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/25 "2007-04-12T22:29:05Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] And I bet you aren’t surprised that there’s cartoon porn showing exactly that. [/QUOTE] erm, ahhhh, . . . _cite_? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/26 "2007-04-12T22:30:37Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] erm, ahhhh, . . . _cite_? [/QUOTE] Please, for the love of God, I _need_ my brain unbroken to write my papers tonight… ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/27 "2007-04-12T22:31:18Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Napalm… [/QUOTE] Is that how he refers to his hand? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/28 "2007-04-12T22:38:03Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Please, for the love of God, I _need_ my brain unbroken to write my papers tonight… [/QUOTE] Also, I humbly submit [this](http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/comic.php?d=20050304) to you Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/29 "2007-04-12T23:11:22Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] Or worse, do you think she ever put a really, really supersmall force field right around Reed’s own…um…thing? [/QUOTE] Wow, it’d save them a fortune in condoms! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/30 "2007-04-13T01:11:55Z")
He certainly wouldn’t need viagra. But I think the women in his life still just take it for granite… ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/31 "2007-04-13T01:28:21Z")
That’s like rubbing basalt into the wound. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/32 "2007-04-13T02:27:29Z")
But what do you think we’re all about here? Fighting igneous since 1973 ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/33 "2007-04-13T02:35:17Z")
Gneiss. Very gneiss. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/34 "2007-04-13T02:36:08Z")
**"It’s Sperminatin’ Time!!!"** ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/35 "2007-04-13T02:55:03Z")
He might not have a dick, but he can still get his rocks off. d&r… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/36 "2007-04-13T03:23:31Z")
[Chuck Berry] My Thing-A-Ling. My Thing-A-Ling. I want to play with My Thing-A Ling. [/Chuck Berry] ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/37 "2007-04-13T05:32:20Z")
I can’t talc it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/38 "2007-04-13T08:19:21Z")
Oh, for schist sake! ---
**Author:** ![Gentle\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gentle\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gentle_Robot)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/39 "2007-04-13T09:34:29Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Dude, that isn’t even the most intriguing dick\*\* in his own supergroup\*\*. Mr. Fantastic could ream Sue out from the next room. You didn’t think his superhero name referred to his crime-fighting prowess, did you? [/QUOTE] I knew I should’ve posted this in GQ.. There is no mystery, no questions behind Mr. Fantastic’s dick. We all know what it does, and that makes it less interesting to me. The only thing I know about the Thing’s dick is that it’s [circumcised](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thing_%28comics%29#Fictional_character_biography) and yes OBVIOUSLY I’ve seen Mallrats. ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2007, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765/40 "2007-04-13T09:44:05Z")
He’ll just have to manage asbestos he can. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-things-dick-fantastic-four/399765.md?page=3)