# The thread of advice. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 2, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187 "2003-06-02T19:00:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/1 "2003-06-02T19:00:34Z")
This thread is dedicated to various lessons that life has taught you first-hand. - Before you leave, check that your door is locked. - Before your door is locked, check that you have the keys. - When talking to a principal about a fight one was just in, do not joke about one’s psychologist. - If one wishes to cuddle with one’s Significant Other, remove all miscellaneous garments from the floor, because anyone who walks in and sees a pile of clothes on the floor will not stop to notice that both you and your Other are wearing everything. - Never, ever, ever, ever volunteer. - Asking for directions can make you feel stupid, but not asking for directions will make you feel geometrically stupider. - Bring extra batteries. - Rub her feet. Rub her back. In fact, grabbing a random bit and stroking it is a surprisingly effective way to show your affection. - Unpleasant truths stink. Unpleasant truths surrounded by the anaerobic enviornment of lies rot and fill with botulism. Let the stink air. Who else has advice to share? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/2 "2003-06-02T19:18:34Z")
Don’t get windshield washer fluid on your gloves in Minnesota in winter. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/3 "2003-06-02T19:18:56Z")
Do not attempt to drink glass of water while cat is in the same room Neither shalt thou try to drink glass of milk DO not answer telephone to mother or brother unless absolutely sure you want to be stuck there, missing the news, missing the SDMB, missing the blooming second coming of the INvisible Pink Unicorn, for all I know. DO not sit addicted to the SDMB when your real plan is to go out and buy unhealthy food More later! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/4 "2003-06-02T23:03:51Z")
Check your flies. Check your mosquitos too. ---
**Author:** ![Tyler\_Do\_Urden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tyler\_Do\_Urden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tyler_Do_Urden)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/5 "2003-06-02T23:55:27Z")
First pants, then shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/6 "2003-06-02T23:57:08Z")
Do not drink glasses of green liquid you find under your bed in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![lurker\_anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@lurker\_anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurker_anonymous)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/7 "2003-06-03T00:30:49Z")
Always know an alternate route to work. Always have a good excuse…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/8 "2003-06-03T00:43:54Z")
Living well is the best revenge. Truly. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/9 "2003-06-03T00:45:55Z")
Just remembered an oft used one by a friend of mine - Never eat yellow snow. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/10 "2003-06-03T00:59:44Z")
Do not let the dog jump on your bare legs after she’s just gotten her nails cut. Ouch! When they need a volunteer and no one is volunteering…run! Never wear shoes that give you blisters when you’re going to be doing a lot of walking- no matter how cute they look. (Why oh why can’t I learn this one?) ---
**Author:** ![Lorenzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4da419/32.png) [@Lorenzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorenzo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/11 "2003-06-03T04:22:32Z")
Doing two hours a week of volunteer work for a worthy cause will do a world of good. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/12 "2003-06-03T04:41:00Z")
Always knew the quickest way to the restroom. Roll up the windows when you get out of the car for the last time of the day. When living in a dorm or apartment building with thin walls, buy headphones for your television. Shake out your shoes before you put them on. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/13 "2003-06-03T04:55:33Z")
Cursing inanimate objects is good for the soul. ---
**Author:** ![Br\_er\_Lapin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Br\_er\_Lapin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Br_er_Lapin)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/14 "2003-06-03T04:55:38Z")
socks. then shoes. ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/15 "2003-06-03T05:10:28Z")
Every time you go to the movies, before you sit down, look for the exits and point them out to whoever you’re with. Keep a camera in your car with you in case of a car accident, either yours or someone else’s. When fall hits, put a gallon of water and a heavy blanket in the car. It’s also good to have a big flashlight in your car at all times. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/16 "2003-06-03T05:30:59Z")
Do not call her. **Tyler Do’Urden** , I like your username. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/17 "2003-06-03T11:00:30Z")
No feet? Forget the damn socks and shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Dawne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Dawne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawne)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-of-advice/179187/18 "2003-06-03T11:40:49Z")
Don’t put pets in the microwave to dry