# The thread that exists for the sole reason of raising your post count **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2001, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201 "2001-10-13T04:36:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/161 "2001-10-17T00:39:30Z")
Couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/162 "2001-10-17T00:53:41Z")
“Just think, Earth was a cloud of dust 4.5 billion years ago … 3 billion years ago, the first bacteria appeared, then came sea life, dinosaurs, birds, mammals, and, finally, a million years ago, man. Now in 1988, there’s me. The acme of evolution.” - Calvin “Oh **PLEASE** ” - Hobbes ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/163 "2001-10-17T01:08:45Z")
“Help! Help! I’m being repressed!” ---
**Author:** ![atypicalcarl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@atypicalcarl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atypicalcarl)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/164 "2001-10-17T02:19:50Z")
“A cult is a religion with no political power.” - Tom Wolfe. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/165 "2001-10-17T02:30:07Z")
“Shorter lived and longer gone; can you figure out?” - Stone Temple Pilots. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/166 "2001-10-17T02:34:08Z")
Don’t you want somebody to love? ``` Somebody To Love Grace Slick ``` ---
**Author:** ![sandpiper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@sandpiper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandpiper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/167 "2001-10-17T02:37:07Z")
“Listen up, people! I’m using the magic word here!” - my 7 year old daughter (after asking if she could ‘please’ have a candy bar). ---
**Author:** ![King\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7bcc69/32.png) [@King\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/King_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/168 "2001-10-17T03:03:39Z")
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private? Pvt. Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked shit that high. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/169 "2001-10-17T04:03:44Z")
“Africa was very interesting,” said Ford. “I behaved very oddly there.” He gazed thoughtfully into the distance. “I took up being cruel to animals,” he said airily. “But only,” he added, “as a hobby.” “Oh, yes,” said Arthur, warily. “Yes,” Ford assured him. “I won’t disturb you with the details because they would…” “What?” “Disturb you. But you may be interested to know that I am single-handedly responsible for the evolved shape of the animal you came to know in later centuries as the giraffe. And I tried to learn to fly. Do you believe me?” –Douglas Adams, **Life, the Universe, and Everything** [sub]Hope you found out what the Question was, Doug\*\* ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/170 "2001-10-17T04:27:48Z")
“Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don’t need it. If you are sick, you shouldn’t take it.” -----Henry Ford ---
**Author:** ![Diesel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Diesel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diesel)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/171 "2001-10-17T04:57:41Z")
“Hold up, guys! I gotta grease up my Junior! …What the hell did I just say?” -Me as my friends are walking away from me at Arby’s as I’m trying to put Arby’s sauce on my sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/172 "2001-10-17T06:45:52Z")
\*“I am a Manly Man, venturing forth in my Mazda Protege to hunt down meat to drag back to my cave. I am keen of eye and care not that my windshield is streaming water like Niagara. I shall resist turning on my wipers until several pedestrians have caromed off my hood.” \* -our very own **Jackmannii** ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/173 "2001-10-17T07:39:17Z")
“Purity is obscurity” -Ogden Nash “We’re enjoying sluggish times and not enjoying them very much.” -George H. Bush “Disco Stu doesn’t advertise.” -Disco Stu ---
**Author:** ![Mikahw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Mikahw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikahw)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/174 "2001-10-17T09:08:17Z")
“I’m going to quote myself” — mikahw 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/175 "2001-10-17T12:59:31Z")
“Everybody’s _hugging!!_” – Ralph Wiggum ---
**Author:** ![EVO95](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@EVO95](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EVO95)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/176 "2001-10-17T13:51:10Z")
“If you don’t quit fucking around on the internet, and get your ass back to work, you’re outta here.” - My boss, 5 minutes ago. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/177 "2001-10-17T14:15:48Z")
“For business reasons, I must maintain the outward signs of sanity.” -Mark Twain “I justify my existence as an example to some and a warning to others.” -Me, to **Sophie** Hi Opal! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![demanton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@demanton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/demanton)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/178 "2001-10-17T14:37:29Z")
Ladies and gentlemen, the funniest joke in the world, auf Deutsch: \*\*Meine schwein hat keine nase. Wie riecht es? Schlammiges!\*\* [Translate.](http://world.altavista.com) ---
**Author:** ![mudpupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@mudpupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mudpupper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/179 "2001-10-17T14:59:52Z")
“You bent my wookie!” -Ralph Wiggum of the Simpsons ---
**Author:** ![broccoli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@broccoli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broccoli)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201/180 "2001-10-17T15:09:28Z")
Nani?!?! That should be “ **I** bent my Wookie” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-thread-that-exists-for-the-sole-reason-of-raising-your-post-count/87201.md?page=10)