# The three seashells, or, How do bidets work and not end badly? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 13, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475 "2015-11-13T16:49:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/41 "2015-11-15T18:59:33Z")
I’ve used both a “tub” bidet and a “shower” bidet, in Paris and in Japan. The shower bidet was built into the toilet, and had two jets, one in the front and one in the back. The tub bidet looked like a very shallow toilet, except it was designed so you sat in the water and washed your nether parts. I liked both. Both left me feeling fresh and clean. The tub bidet was in a cheap hotel that only had one shared shower for the whole floor, (but a toilet, sink, and bidet in the room) and on most days, that was enough, and I didn’t feel the need for a shower. The shower bidets in Japan was heated and especially nice when I had tourist tummy. Not only did it clean me up, the warm water felt really good on my aching muscles. I seriously considered buying a Japanese toilet when I returned home, but it was going to be hard to buy, hard to install, and I had a bad feeling that if anything went wrong, the plumber and the electrician would each point at the other and say “his problem”. Speaking of Japanese plumbing, am I the only westerner who likes squat toilets? I used them in Japan. They were clean ceramic affairs that flushed, and I found them very comfortable. (No bidet, though. :() I liked both that my cheeks were farther apart, so I didn’t get as dirty, and also that I didn’t need to touch anything. And squatting feels very natural for defecating, at least to me. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2015, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/42 "2015-11-15T20:29:04Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > I can’t help but run with this… > > Ah, bidets are here again > You can have a nice clean rear again > Don your undies without fear again > Ah, bidets are here again! A tune ruined by the Glenn Beck program. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/43 "2015-11-15T22:58:55Z")
One of our local doctors invented an attachment for toilets called the Biffy, and they have them on display at all their clinics, due to their alleged medical benefits. You attach it to the side of the toilet, plug it in to the water supply, and an arm swings out into the toilet to give you a nice spray clean. I tried it out, but unlike other posters, I definitely found the cold water to be highly unpleasant, so I upgraded to a model that has a tiny water heater and spray hose attached. Sadly, the water heater coil has been burned out for years now, so I don’t really like it now. Still much cleaner and faster than toilet paper, in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2015, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/44 "2015-11-15T23:07:21Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I haven’t seen the word “soap” used. Unless this involves soap I don’t see how a bidet is better than a clean wipe. Have you used one? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2015, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/45 "2015-11-15T23:56:35Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Have you used one? No. do you take showers without soap? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/46 "2015-11-16T00:16:57Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I haven’t seen the word “soap” used. Unless this involves soap I don’t see how a bidet is better than a clean wipe. I was thinking that, actually. They should totally mount one of those soap dispensers on toilet stall walls. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/47 "2015-11-16T00:17:36Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > No. do you take showers without soap? Not regularly, but I don’t wash myself by wiping myself with a paper towel, either. Is this really that difficult to understand? Pretend you are covered in shit. What do you think will get you cleaner, hosing yourself off or wiping yourself off with paper towels? Soap really isn’t that necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/48 "2015-11-16T00:46:53Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Not regularly, but I don’t wash myself by wiping myself with a paper towel, either. > > Is this really that difficult to understand? Pretend you are covered in shit. What do you think will get you cleaner, hosing yourself off or wiping yourself off with paper towels? Soap really isn’t that necessary. I was responding to a challenge that a bidet was better than a cleansing wipe. Pretend you read the thread. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/49 "2015-11-16T00:50:52Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Not regularly, but I don’t wash myself by wiping myself with a paper towel, either. > > Is this really that difficult to understand? Pretend you are covered in shit. What do you think will get you cleaner, hosing yourself off or wiping yourself off with paper towels? Soap really isn’t that necessary. Butt (heh) if you think about it the answer depends (heh) on how MUCH water or paper towels (or toilet paper) you use to attack the problem. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/50 "2015-11-16T00:51:04Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I was responding to a challenge that a bidet was better than a cleansing wipe. Pretend you read the thread. It’s less wasteful for me. If using paper or wipes only, I go through quite a lot of them. With a bidet or spray, just one at the end, if I even bother. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/51 "2015-11-16T00:54:46Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Butt (heh) if you think about it the answer depends (heh) on how MUCH water or paper towels (or toilet paper) you use to attack the problem. That’s the thing. I don’t want to get too graphic, but sometimes I have to go through so much toilet paper when wiping that I have to flush the toilet in between so it doesn’t clog up. It sometimes takes me eight or more wipes before it looks to be clean, and even then I’m not 100% sure. With a bidet, it’s just give it a good spray and wipe. You can ask my wife who does the laundry, if you want, between pre-bidet and post-bidet laundry days. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/52 "2015-11-16T02:12:26Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > It’s less wasteful for me. If using paper or wipes only, I go through quite a lot of them. With a bidet or spray, just one at the end, if I even bother. OK, but that’s a side note to the discussion of cleanliness. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/53 "2015-11-16T02:17:06Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > That’s the thing. I don’t want to get too graphic, but sometimes I have to go through so much toilet paper when wiping that I have to flush the toilet in between so it doesn’t clog up. It sometimes takes me eight or more wipes before it looks to be clean, and even then I’m not 100% sure. With a bidet, it’s just give it a good spray and wipe. You can ask my wife who does the laundry, if you want, between pre-bidet and post-bidet laundry days. And staying on the not too graphic track it sounds like you need to add some more fiber to your diet. Otherwise you will end up with the grapes of wrath. And that’s the gift that keeps on giving. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/54 "2015-11-16T03:36:21Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Seems like, even with the heated units, the water in the line between the heater and the sprayer would be at the same temp as the unheated units. Or are they designed to spray down until the warm water arrives? Don’t know how they do it but the bidet toilets I’ve used in Japan have warm water right from the get go. Also– I remember a SDMB thread not that long ago about the refreshing joys of bidet toilet seats. I was really surprised that so many Dopers found the idea of a bidet toilet seat so icky and undesirable to them, and that so many Dopers proudly stated they are just fine with toilet paper, thankyouverymuch. I just don’t understand that point of view. It is SO much cleaner, hygienic, healthier, and comfortable to use a bidet toilet seat. How is it that so many North Americans are willing to go around so odiously unclean? Really… these wonderful things are not that mystifying or difficult to use, folks. Seems to me that any American that had a chance to use one for a few days would never go back. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/55 "2015-11-16T04:19:21Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I was responding to a challenge that a bidet was better than a cleansing wipe. Pretend you read the thread. It is. Try it and you’ll see. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/56 "2015-11-16T04:23:54Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > I was responding to a challenge that a bidet was better than a cleansing wipe. Pretend you read the thread. Hmm, a wet wipe (I use Tucks) is probably as good as a bidet for poop, but not nearly as good for other cleansing of the nether regions – perhaps that matters more for women than for men. > [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > …I just don’t understand that point of view. It is SO much cleaner, hygienic, healthier, and comfortable to use a bidet toilet seat. How is it that so many North Americans are willing to go around so odiously unclean?.. A good-quality wet wipe or two works okay. That’s what I use at home, since I don’t have a bidet. I do feel a little dirty if I don’t have anything wet to clean with after I poop. (although it varies based on, well, you know.) ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/57 "2015-11-16T05:11:51Z")
I’ve been using a Japanese [washlet](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washlet) for the past 15 years. I simply do my business, take a wipe, stay seated, use the water spray (temperature and strength-controlled) for about 10-15 seconds. I can adjust the angle and width of the spray as well. Then dry off using the air-blowing function or another quick wipe. Easy-peasy Japan-easy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/58 "2015-11-16T15:00:04Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Your house doesn’t have hot water? :eek: Sure, but it takes several minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/59 "2015-11-16T16:04:42Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > And staying on the not too graphic track it sounds like you need to add some more fiber to your diet. Otherwise you will end up with the grapes of wrath. And that’s the gift that keeps on giving. I understand your point, but not the term “grapes of wrath.” What’s that about? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/60 "2015-11-16T17:01:24Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I understand your point, but not the term “grapes of wrath.” What’s that about? I’m guessing, by context, hemorrhoids/piles. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475.md?page=4)