# The three seashells, or, How do bidets work and not end badly? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 13, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475 "2015-11-13T16:49:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/61 "2015-11-16T17:12:35Z")
I have the sprayer hose attachment and I love it. I feel much cleaner, and I feel much less… friction/chafing/etc. I highly recommend it – I ordered it off Amazon and installed it myself. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/62 "2015-11-16T20:00:49Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I’m just reminded of a random SDMB poster here… > > He referred to related issues using such words as “shag carpet” and “peanut butter”… > > enough said one hopes… May have been me, or was it “dog crap in the high grass?”. I have a shady thicket on the back road, and I have tried bidets, and the results are a bunch of well-moistened cling-ons squashed between the cheeks when I stand up. For those born with polished marble nethers, I’m sure bidets work great. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/63 "2015-11-16T20:39:48Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Now, the bidet is supposed to be the end all be all solution. The problem is, I just don’t see how a spray of water doesn’t send fecal particles every which way, Flushing a toilet already does that. > **[Does flushing the toilet cause dirty water to be spewed around the bathroom?](https://www.straightdope.com/21342463/does-flushing-the-toilet-cause-dirty-water-to-be-spewed-around-the-bathroom)** ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/64 "2015-11-16T22:26:02Z")
They also make pretty splash fountains, too. At least my 7 YO self thought so until my Mom caught me sending the spray to the ceiling at their friend’s house party… ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2015, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/65 "2015-11-16T23:58:35Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > They also make pretty splash fountains, too. At least my 7 YO self thought so until my Mom caught me sending the spray to the ceiling at their friend’s house party… This is kind of what I meant when I wrote the OP. I just don’t see how you can’t misuse a bidet in a way that sends poop flecks flying everywhere in a gusher of water. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2015, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/66 "2015-11-17T01:54:03Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I’m guessing, by context, hemorrhoids/piles. Must be an old time saying. If you’re putting a lot of effort into it then eventually you get hemorrhoids which trap fecal matter in a no-man’s land. The end result is that it works it’s way out into your undies. There is no way of getting really clean. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2015, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/67 "2015-11-17T04:25:33Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > I just don’t see how you can’t misuse a bidet in a way that sends poop flecks flying everywhere in a gusher of water. Because it’s not a “gusher of water” unless you open the taps all the way. You can control the water pressure by how much you open the tap. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2015, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475/68 "2015-11-17T17:18:34Z")
Wide open pretty much does it… 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-three-seashells-or-how-do-bidets-work-and-not-end-badly/737475.md?page=3)