# The tie that binds – meaning? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 10, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525 "2015-09-10T16:00:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/1 "2015-09-10T16:00:14Z")
The tie that binds / the ties that bind The above is a well known phrase, originally from a hymn and used since in a film title, a Bruce Springsteen song and a novel, amongst other things. But what would you say it actually means? I can guess that it’s about relationships, or family, your roots as it were, but would you say it’s a positive message? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/2 "2015-09-10T17:41:57Z")
I don’t think it really has a value, at least not in the US. Most people use it non-idiomatically in my experience. If I saw it used as an idiom I would assume it was a reference to marriage or family. ---
**Author:** ![Ornery\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/da6949/32.png) [@Ornery\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ornery_Bob)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/3 "2015-09-10T17:51:09Z")
The oldest reference I could find was the Don Williams song from 1974. [The Ties That Bind](http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-ties-that-bind-lyrics-don-williams.html) _Knowing, you stand by me through good and bad Makes all the difference in my life Day by day, sweetheart, I find These are the ties that bind_ ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/4 "2015-09-10T17:59:06Z")
When we got married in an Episcopal ceremony about 15 years ago, during the rehearsal our priest demonstrated how he would remove his stole (the scarf-like vestment that priests wear) and wrap it around our intertwined hands as he performed the ceremony. He explained that this was an ancient tradition and the source of the phrase “the ties that bind” - he was tying our hands together, binding us in matrimony. I always took that with a bit of salt since I never had heard it anywhere else, but I never looked into it to see if it was true or not. ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/5 "2015-09-10T18:20:31Z")
I Walk The Line lyrics: I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you’re mine, I walk the line No idea what it means though. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/6 "2015-09-10T18:26:42Z")
It is a positive message - about our links to other people that uplift, encourage and support us - and it goes back even further: > **[John Fawcett (theologian)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Fawcett_(theologian))** > > John Fawcett (6 January 1739 – 25 July 1817) was a British-born Baptist theologian, pastor and hymn writer. > Fawcett was born on 6 January 1739 in Lidget Green, Bradford. In 1762, Fawcett joined the Methodists, but three years later, he united with the Baptist Church and became pastor of Wainsgate Baptist Church in Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire, England. > Fawcett served for seven years, despite a small income and a growing family.\[citation needed\] When he received a call in 1772 to the large a... > **["Blest Be the Tie That Binds" | Today's Christian](http://web.archive.org/web/20090213115457/http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/2008/002/12.11.html)** > > To encourage Christians to live out their faith by providing inspiring models and clear teaching in convenient digest format. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/7 "2015-09-10T18:29:25Z")
> [@Ornery\_Bob](#): > > The oldest reference I could find was the Don Williams song from 1974. You’re off by about two centuries. The words appear in a hymn written by John Fawcett in 1782, [Blest be the Tie that Binds.](http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/b/b/bbtttb.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/8 "2015-09-10T18:30:58Z")
Since this is about song lyrics, let’s move it to Cafe Society. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/9 "2015-09-10T19:27:29Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > When we got married in an Episcopal ceremony about 15 years ago, during the rehearsal our priest demonstrated how he would remove his stole (the scarf-like vestment that priests wear) and wrap it around our intertwined hands as he performed the ceremony. He explained that this was an ancient tradition and the source of the phrase “the ties that bind” - he was tying our hands together, binding us in matrimony. > > I always took that with a bit of salt since I never had heard it anywhere else, but I never looked into it to see if it was true or not. You should have shouted, “Cite?” ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/10 "2015-09-10T20:12:18Z")
I always thought it meant something like keep your promises to those who mean the most to you, or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/11 "2015-09-10T20:34:19Z")
I always just thought it was a euphemism for marriage. Similar to “ball and chain” but less derogatory. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/12 "2015-09-10T21:35:18Z")
Since I grew up singing that hymn, I’ve never had a problem understanding the meaning, especially in light of the following verses. It basically means that our shared faith joins us in fellowship…we care for each other, just as members of a family do, and that tie cannot be broken, even when we are apart from one another. The love of Christ and our fellow man is the tie that binds us together into the family of God. You can extrapolate that to marriage, to family, to any community. The sense of community that links us to each other is a blessing and a strength. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2015, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/13 "2015-09-10T23:25:00Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > You’re off by about two centuries. The words appear in a hymn written by John Fawcett in 1782, [Blest be the Tie that Binds.](http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/b/b/bbtttb.htm) And in the historical context of that hymn, it’s a bond of fellowship within a church: > [@Wikipedia](#): > > Fawcett served for seven years, despite a small income and a growing family. It seemed only practical that he move to a church that paid a larger salary. When he received a call in 1772 to the large and influential Carter’s Lane Baptist Church in London he planned to accept the call. But at the last minute he changed his mind, and remained at Wainsgate where his salary was £25 a year. To commemorate this event he later wrote the words to “Blest Be the Tie that Binds”, possibly his most famous hymn. In other words, Fawcett couldn’t bear to part with his current congregation – the ties that bound him to his current flock. The lyrics (4th verse in what I’ve seen published) even speak of the strength of those ties to survive parting if parting is needed: > [@Blest Be the Ties that Bind](#): > > When we are called to part, > it gives us inward pain; > but we shall still be joined in heart, > and hope to meet again. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/14 "2015-09-11T03:53:29Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > You should have shouted, “Cite?” “If there’s anyone here who objects to this baseless anecdote, speak now or forever hold your peace…Now, here is a rod smaller than your thumb with which you may beat your wife.” ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/15 "2015-09-11T08:58:27Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Since this is about song lyrics, let’s move it to Cafe Society. > > Colibri > General Questions Moderator I protest! It wasn’t about song lyrics, it was about the phrase! It just happens to appear in some songs. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/16 "2015-09-11T13:07:19Z")
“Bless’d be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above.” Metaphorically, it’s exactly what it says on the tin. A “tie,” as in something that holds things together, that “binds,” that is, holds things together. Is that clear enough? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/17 "2015-09-11T15:22:54Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > I protest! It wasn’t about song lyrics, it was about the phrase! It just happens to appear in some songs. Since in the OP you ask for opinions about its meaning, if not CS it would go in IMHO, where I also considered moving it. Either way, it’s not a GQ. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/18 "2015-09-11T17:42:38Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > I protest! It wasn’t about song lyrics, it was about the phrase! It just happens to appear in some songs. I have assumed it was metaphorical, like “blood ties” - and could speak to family, community, church, organization. I would assume criminal organizations like the mafia could invoke it, too - i.e., I have assumed it could have positive and negative connotations… ---
**Author:** ![Audrak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df788c/32.png) [@Audrak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrak)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2018, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/19 "2018-09-20T05:09:03Z")
The earliest instance I found for the phrase “the ties that bind” is in Homer’s The Odyssey; Odysseus is describing an exchange of meaningful gifts that seal and bind a friendship. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2018, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525/20 "2018-09-20T08:51:50Z")
Ah, but is that what Homer wrote, or is it an English idiom used by the translator to replace/translate the Greek one? Idioms are the second-hardest thing to translate; the Spanish edition of “Tales of the Long Bow” my mother has includes a preface by the translator and a Translator’s Note between 1-line and 2/3 of a page at the beginning of each story, explaining the idiom the story is based on. First one that doesn’t make sense in Spanish is the book title itself. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tie-that-binds-meaning/730525.md?page=2)