# The time is coming. Join while you can. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632 "2001-11-21T18:46:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/1 "2001-11-21T18:46:18Z")
A while back, a friend of mine and I decided that the world needed change and that we should take over and get the ball rolling. What I need is applications from those who wish to be part of the Higher Ranks. [sub](Being in the Higher Ranks has its perks. You get your own harem (male or female), a private villa on our top-secret island headquarters, cool looking uniforms, ray guns, plus all the Gummi bears you can eat!)[/sub] So far we have the following: As it was my pal’s idea, he has taken the roll of Emperor. I have taken the roll of Head of Secret Police. (Shhhh!! But don’t tell anybody! It’s a secret!) * * * Please let me know what position you would like to hold in our Government. (You can make up your own positions too! We like innovators!) ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/2 "2001-11-21T18:52:22Z")
Hummm… Let’s see I get my own harem, private villa, ray guns, and gummi bears. I like the red gummi bears but I’ll join ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/3 "2001-11-21T18:55:12Z")
Hummm… Let’s see I get my own harem, private villa, ray guns, and gummi bears. I like the red gummi bears but I’ll join. I don’t know who I want to be thouugh? I’ll get back to you on it, but count me in ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/4 "2001-11-21T19:12:34Z")
And what if you’re too scruffy and smelly for the Higher Ranks? What then? ---
**Author:** ![Nausicaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@Nausicaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nausicaa)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/5 "2001-11-21T19:19:42Z")
What’s your plan once you achieve world domination? Would you get rid of Muzak? Which celebrities would you get rid of? (my personal list includes: Anna Nicole Smith, anyone from the Survivor or Big Brother series and Wink Martindale) If I join can I make everyone move out of Jersey so there is more room for me? Can we the New York radion stations to play something different from time to time? And if the position is open can I be the Slave Manager? I’m pretty organized and I could keep track of all the slaves we could get and send them on different work details. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/6 "2001-11-21T19:20:48Z")
I’d like to be the First High Secretary of Lost Causes. I can wring my hands and moan about the poor quality of the help, and how hard it is to hire decent enforcers, and never be expected to produce results. I’ll have lots of spare time for the hareem to feed me gummi bears… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/7 "2001-11-21T19:22:42Z")
I would like to apply for the post of Foreign Minister. Since we will be taking over the entire planet, there will be no actual foreign powers to deal with, so I’ll get all the perks and have no work to do. Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/8 "2001-11-21T19:31:39Z")
Minister of Entertainment Death metal and fruity umbrella drinks for all!!! ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/9 "2001-11-21T19:44:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nausicaa \* > \*\*What’s your plan once you achieve world domination? > \*\* We have a list of things that will change and laws that will be put in place. I am working on compiling it now. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nausicaa \* > **Would you get rid of Muzak?** Yes, but not in prisons. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nausicaa \* > **Which celebrities would you get rid of? (my personal list includes: Anna Nicole Smith, anyone from the Survivor or Big Brother series and Wink Martindale)** We are not looking at ‘doing away’ with anyone without reason. (But Wacko Jackson is on the short list, along with OJ) “Reality TV” shows will be done away with. (You want reality TV? Watch a documentary.) Speaking of documentaries, TLC will be forced to show intelligent shows. (Shows like “Amazing Prophesies XXVII” will NOT air. EVER!) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nausicaa \* > **If I join can I make everyone move out of Jersey so there is more room for me?** Moves like this is still under debate. We are not an ‘evil’ government. Live for the “Average Joe” would not change, but the “Average Joe” will have to watch his step and not screw up, that’s when it gets harsh. (More on that when I get the list of rules changed.) But estates will be granted to the Ruling Class. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nausicaa \* > **Can we the New York radio stations to play something different from time to time?** Not being from NY, I do not know of this issue. As **Opengrave** is the Minister of Entertainment s/he can look into this. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nausicaa \* > \*\*And if the position is open can I be the Slave Manager? I’m pretty organized and I could keep track of all the slaves we could get and send them on different work details. \*\* No. There will be no slavery of any sort. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/10 "2001-11-21T19:45:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferrous \* > \*\*I would like to apply for the post of Foreign Minister. > > Since we will be taking over the entire planet, there will be no actual foreign powers to deal with, so I’ll get all the perks and have no work to do. Sweet! \*\* Done. There will be a lot of work to do while we are taking over. Once we own the world, you get your “Gold Watch”, but you keep all your perks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nausicaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@Nausicaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nausicaa)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/11 "2001-11-21T19:59:29Z")
No slaves huh? Phoeey! (pout) Then I don’t want to join! (/pout) ---
**Author:** ![Mogwei22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@Mogwei22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mogwei22)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/12 "2001-11-21T20:03:44Z")
Ooh! Ooh! Can I be the **Minister of Erotic Arts & Crafts** Wait till you see what I can do with a glue gun, some macaroni and popsicle sticks. Can there be a station that plays Simpsons 24-7? Red and pineapple gummi bears for me please. ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/13 "2001-11-21T20:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by the Head of the Secret Police…er I mean Department of Motor Vehicles…yeah, that’s it…_\*\* > There will be no slavery of any sort. \*\* Then how are you going to staff our harems? If it’s a paid position, you’d better pay _really_ well, 'cause I don’t want any second-rate wenches in _my_ harem! ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/14 "2001-11-21T20:09:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferrous \* > \*\*Then how are you going to staff our harems? If it’s a paid position, you’d better pay _really_ well, 'cause I don’t want any second-rate wenches in _my_ harem! \*\* That will be for you to work on. What good would a harem be if it was assigned to you? You get to choose who you want. I think that’s pretty fair. The riches you have will be enough to have them flocking. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/15 "2001-11-21T20:11:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mogwei22 \* > **Ooh! Ooh! Can I be the Minister of Erotic Arts & Crafts** The position is yours. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mogwei22 \* > **Can there be a station that plays Simpsons 24-7?** You have my blessing. We’ll have **Opengrave** look into it. DAMN IT! I missed my 300th post! (Boy when I take over!!!) ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/16 "2001-11-21T20:21:33Z")
Hmmm…well that’ll work…I guess. Riches are good. But in the OP you specifically promised a harem would be provided. What’s next? Are we gonna have to sew our own uniforms and build our own ray guns too? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/17 "2001-11-21T20:24:46Z")
i have no use for the higher rank, being a member of the HIGHEST RANK already! HA HA HAAAAAA! ---
**Author:** ![jaemsc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/34f0e0/32.png) [@jaemsc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaemsc)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/18 "2001-11-21T20:43:04Z")
I’ll take the role of drug czar, that way everyone has to answer to me and i get to dole things out… one for you 200 for me one for you 200 for me ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/19 "2001-11-21T20:55:10Z")
I’m eminently qualified to head up the Ministry of Chat. Anyone who refuses to use correct grammar and spelling shall be rapped across the knuckles with a wooden ruler. Starting any conversation with “a/s/l” is punishable by public flogging. I don’t need a harem, but I would like a couple of serving lads to run errands and other things… ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/20 "2001-11-21T20:59:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferrous \* > \*\*Hmmm…well that’ll work…I guess. Riches are good. But in the OP you specifically promised a harem would be provided. What’s next? Are we gonna have to sew our own uniforms and build our own ray guns too? \*\* The option is open. The details have not been worked out on many things, including how to aquire the harem. If you wish to have one provided, then that can be done. No, the uniforms are provided along with the rayguns. (Gawd you’re picky!:D) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632.md?page=2)