# The time is coming. Join while you can. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632 "2001-11-21T18:46:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/41 "2001-11-21T23:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Briminator \* > \*\*Crap I missed that one. > > Hmmmm…How about the Minister of Practical Jokes, I got tons of em. \*\* Sure! We’ll have you working with **Ferrous**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/42 "2001-11-22T01:02:22Z")
I want to be **Minister Of Giant Japanese War Robots Used For Slapping Around Punks Who Don’t Respect Our Beloved Leader & Emperor**. I want all the girls in _my_ harem surgically altered to look like those big-eyed Anime babes. 😃 [sub]Yeah, I’m a sicko. Ya wanna **make** somthin’ of it? I’ll sic a Giant Japanese War Robot on your punk \*ss, if you don’t watch it. Ba-da-BING-ba-da-BOOM![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/43 "2001-11-22T02:42:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > **I want to be Minister Of Giant Japanese War Robots Used For Slapping Around Punks Who Don’t Respect Our Beloved Leader & Emperor.** Protecting the EMperor is actuall my job, but the robots would help. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\* > I want all the girls in my harem surgically altered to look like those big-eyed Anime babes. 😃_\* Not gonna happen. Driftwood Hates Anime. ---
**Author:** ![Treviathan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@Treviathan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treviathan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/44 "2001-11-22T02:42:34Z")
Well, if you plan on taking over approximately six billion people, some of whom might just be a little out of sorts over not seeing “Murder in Small Town X” return for a second season, then you’re gonna need a top-notch Minister of Propaganda to keep the subjects in their places. As someone who reads George Orwell as a “how-to” manual, I respectfully nominate myself. ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/45 "2001-11-22T04:18:05Z")
I’ll take **Secretary of Entertainment**. I’ll be responsible for ensuring the general populus has entertainment of an intelligent, witty, and never ending nature. I will also personally appoint all intern’s and assistants, and will make sure that they turn in their dresses before punching out, so that they may be cleaned of any incriminating evidence. What will the bulk of the entertainment be like? Think “Waking Life” meets “Die Hard” meets “The Beatles”. Thoughtful, action packed, and catchy as all hell. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/46 "2001-11-22T05:02:36Z")
I was briefly **Secretary of War** for my high school French club… which was rather odd, since I wasn’t a member but just showed up at every fourth meeting or so because I had a crush on the teacher. Anyways, I’ll take a military position as **Minister of Greco**. We’ll be putting out an Olympic-caliber Greco-Roman wrestling team in no time. Plus we get to make all sorts of double-entendres about back exposure, five-point throws, gutwrenches, lacing the legs… ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/47 "2001-11-22T06:07:40Z")
Is Head Chef taken? I’ll feed our boys in uniform well. Heck, I’m good for entertaining, too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e56c9b/32.png) [@Rye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rye)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/48 "2001-11-22T08:45:47Z")
**Minister of Women’s Massage Therapy** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/49 "2001-11-22T08:53:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kwyjibo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Cougarfang \* > > \*\*hey, do those uniforms and rayguns come in cat-size? \*\* > > Umm…yes…yes they do. Please step through this door sir. > \*\* that’s “Ma’am” to you, dagnabbit… _steps_ [long silence] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![Rye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e56c9b/32.png) [@Rye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rye)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/50 "2001-11-22T09:08:21Z")
If cats don’t have opposable thumbs, how do they hold and fire ray guns? ---
**Author:** ![AtomicBanana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@AtomicBanana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicBanana)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/51 "2001-11-22T12:05:57Z")
Hmmm, how about the position of ‘Prime Minister of Supermodel Bathing and of the Tucking in Jessica Alba at Night’? I feel like I could do an exceptional job at this task, and beg that you give me a chance, Oh Secretest One. I shall not fail you, My Leige. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/52 "2001-11-22T14:00:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > \*\*I’ll take **Secretary of Entertainment**. I’ll be responsible for ensuring the general populus has entertainment of an intelligent, witty, and never ending nature. I will also personally appoint all intern’s and assistants, and will make sure that they turn in their dresses before punching out, so that they may be cleaned of any incriminating evidence. > > What will the bulk of the entertainment be like? Think “Waking Life” meets “Die Hard” meets “The Beatles”. Thoughtful, action packed, and catchy as all hell. > > DaLovin’ Dj \*\* Sorry. Taken by **Opengrave** ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/53 "2001-11-22T14:01:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rye \* > \*\ ***Minister of Women’s Massage Therapy** > > 😃 \*\* Smart boy! It’s yours! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/54 "2001-11-22T14:04:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cougarfang \* > that’s “Ma’am” to you, dagnabbit… > \*\* [sub] **Note to self** : Before you dominate the world, LEARN YOUR STAFF MEMBERS GENDER![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/55 "2001-11-22T14:08:06Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Kwyjibo \* \*\* > [@](#): > > [sub] **Note to self** : > Before you dominate the world, LEARN YOUR STAFF MEMBERS GENDER![/sub] \*\* And don’t ignore any requests (hint, hint)! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/56 "2001-11-22T14:12:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Globe-trotter \* > And don’t ignore any requests (hint, hint)! 😃 \*\* I didn’t ignore it. Just pondering. 😉 You’ve got the job, and you will be working with me.😃 (Need you to keep me up to date on all the new info.) ---
**Author:** ![dalovindj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/65b543/32.png) [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/57 "2001-11-22T15:54:56Z")
Hmmm. I missed that one. In that case I’ll take **Head of the Office of Homeland Hippnesaucity**. Some of the highlights of my plans for this Job: Eliminate Coors Lite from this great planet. Ditto Midori. Selection of the InterNational Official Drinking Game (Probably involving female stripping) Triple Guinness production. Elimination of the entire Bottom Shelf. Implementation of automatic driving cars to eliminate the whole DUI thing. Steins for everyone. DaLovin’ Dj ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/58 "2001-11-22T16:41:14Z")
i would like nominate myself to the position of **Power behind the Throne.** [sub]this subtle strategy will surely take everyone by surprise… nobody will see it coming… **MWAHAHAHAHAHHA!** [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/59 "2001-11-22T19:02:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > \*\*Hmmm. I missed that one. In that case I’ll take **Head of the Office of Homeland Hippnesaucity**. Some of the highlights of my plans for this Job: > > Eliminate Coors Lite from this great planet. > Ditto Midori. > Selection of the InterNational Official Drinking Game (Probably involving female stripping) > Triple Guinness production. > Elimination of the entire Bottom Shelf. > Implementation of automatic driving cars to eliminate the whole DUI thing. > Steins for everyone. > > DaLovin’ Dj \*\* Sounds good to me, but the Coors Light has to stay. So let it be writen…😉 ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632/60 "2001-11-22T19:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kwyjibo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > > \*\*Hmmm. I missed that one. In that case I’ll take **Head of the Office of Homeland Hippnesaucity**. Some of the highlights of my plans for this Job: > > \ > > Ditto Midori. > > \ > > DaLovin’ Dj \*\* > > Sounds good to me, but the Coors Light has to stay. > > So let it be writen…😉 \*\* We’ve got to keep the Midori. But only for margaritas and jello shots. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-time-is-coming-join-while-you-can/94632.md?page=4)