# The Top 101 StraightDope Threads...Of All Time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2005, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552 "2005-11-24T05:40:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/81 "2005-11-25T22:11:59Z")
[This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=182547) one is from my favorite banned member of all time. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/82 "2005-11-25T22:34:20Z")
Step aside people, we have to include the best RANT of all time. [Suck it down you drunken bitch!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306209&highlight=drunken) And please use the actual thread title in the link so the rest of us don’t have to click every ambiguous link to see if we’ve already searched for that thread. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/83 "2005-11-25T23:05:40Z")
I rather suspected that the factual fora would be underrepresented. With that in mind, I present the [Fabulous Über-Roach](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=60812) (ok, so it’s actually called “Upper Size Limits for Insects?”), [An expanding universe? Am I expanding?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=32365), and [Galileo, a Hammer, and a Feather](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=2787) (be warned, that last one is ancient). ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/84 "2005-11-25T23:09:21Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > There was one, someone’s going to have to help me with, where a poster asked how to survive on the cheapest food possible for a month or so, having absolutely no money. It turned into a truly touching thread where Dopers reached out to help one of their own financially. Anyone else remember it? [This one?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=278181&highlight=paypal+food) ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/85 "2005-11-25T23:23:17Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Or his online mushroom trip, which was fascinating on many levels. I came to nominate that one: > [@Homer](#): > > I’ve been typing foreverevereverfvefvevafsdljkfs fucking a i really should mackdonna handheld shoehorn butterhorse. > **[I just ate 3 mushrooms](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=38764)** > > I’ve never done this before. I’ll keep you posted. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/86 "2005-11-25T23:46:57Z")
I nominate [Is there any reason that semen would be bad for my fish?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=249524) As you can imagine, it starts out with a pretty punchy OP, and rapidly escalates from there. ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/87 "2005-11-26T00:22:30Z")
There once was a thread about the tiresome aspects of being a porn star. It went along the lines of “I ordered a pizza and …” Can’t find it, though. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/88 "2005-11-26T02:10:55Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > [This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=182547) one is from my favorite banned member of all time. Dammit! I had just remembered The Grapist and was going to post one of his threads. Ah well. Great minds, etc., etc. ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/89 "2005-11-26T03:22:08Z")
Threads which sucked us in (in a different way than, say the TMI thread or its derivatives), such as: [What happens on May 33 but only on leap years?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=44967&highlight=thread) and [Anyone known the perpetrator of a really horrific crime?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=31236&highlight=thread), which had a huge ratio of page views to actual posts, and [Things you’ve seen that actually made your jaw drop](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=59645&highlight=thread) On a different front, how about **Happy Scrappy Hero Pup’s** [Things that will never stop being funny. Ever.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=314703) or the dueling schlock song lyrics of [If Life is a rock and the radio rolls me…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=106748&highlight=thread) I’ll be bold enough to nominate my own [Strangest high school team mascots](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=52169&highlight=high+school+mascots) in which bivalves, insects, flowers and stuffed animals are among the symbols designed to inspire fear and awe. And how could we not include the wonderful self-referential, essence-of-distilled-threadness known simply as [Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=26280&highlight=thread) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/90 "2005-11-26T03:40:25Z")
Why are there holes in the lids of some cans of Kiwi shoe polish? - ChiefScott Here’s the special request write up, which is not the original thread. [http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mkiwi.html](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mkiwi.html) > **[Shoe Polish](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=2875)** > > So, does Chief Scott polish his shoes annually, or daily? I vote for daily. > **[I just noticed the archives...](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=20289)** > > … and I’ve got three threads in the General Questions section! I didn’t know anyone cared. Voted Best Sport And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master Forward deployed until 18AUG00 This link mentions the original thread that was very interesting, which apears to be removed. It’s a shame that the original discussion is gone, it was a clasic. What say the administrators? Does the original discussion exist anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/91 "2005-11-26T07:35:29Z")
My first nomination will have to be: [Gotcha ya!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1492370&highlight=gotcha#post1492370) 4 years old and still one of the funniest things I’ve read on the dope. Second and third will be: [Root beer floats](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=291550) and [Coke au lait?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=288633) Two unique and funny threads made great not by me, but by **Anastaseon**. They weren’t very long threads so I doubt very many of you remember them. Check them out, seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/92 "2005-11-26T08:08:10Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > [This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=182547) one is from my favorite banned member of all time. Then you’ll just love this! > **[I AM NOT THE "GRAPIST"!!!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289392)** > > I have been posting on several message boards for a long time now, and my posts are ALWAYS purple. The only exceptions are those boards with a colored background which doesn’t allow certain colors to be read when posted. Other than that, it’s pretty... ---
**Author:** ![Hometownboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5e9695/32.png) [@Hometownboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hometownboy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/93 "2005-11-26T08:17:35Z")
Oops! Screwed up the code on the “Did you ever know anybody that created a horrific crime” link. [This is the correct link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=33930&highlight=crime) . My apologies. I’m such a :wally sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/94 "2005-11-26T08:47:19Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Two unique and funny threads made great not by me, but by **Anastaseon**. They weren’t very long threads so I doubt very many of you remember them. Check them out, seriously. Sadly, **Cisco** , it appears the pictures are missing. And if they are missing from there, then they are missing forever, unless someone saved them. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/95 "2005-11-26T11:50:53Z")
in the banned doper department, can anyone find the Satan thread where he asks the SDMB whether or not he should let his girlfriend bonk him with a strap on? Also, Wildest Bill had a couple of good one’s. I’ve searched but can’t find the gotcha ya one about his dream funeral. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/96 "2005-11-26T17:21:43Z")
I’m looking for “The most embarrassing thing you’ve ever witnessed” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/97 "2005-11-26T17:36:43Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Oh, maybe someone could search and find that thread… um, it tends to get bumped on memorial’ day I think. Can’t remember who posted it originally, but a very wonderful tribute to those who have given their lives for others. Coldfire’s thread has been linked, but if it was Memorial Day that you’re looking for, it might be my thread: [My Memorial Day](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25805) ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/98 "2005-11-26T22:08:55Z")
I have to nominate for one of the all-time best threads : > **[Truth or Dare?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=343106)** > > Only two main rules: First and most important: No dares or truths that have anything to do with anything illegal OR against the rules of the Straightdope Message Board. This means no truths asking about past or present crimes or if anyone’s done... The Truth or Dare game thread. Most. Fun. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/99 "2005-11-26T23:24:10Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > But that leads me to a couple of questions: what are the criteria people are using? Is this a quest for the best OP, or for the best _thread_? > > Some threads start off with a very funny or touching or intelligent OP, but then devolve into little more than a series of “great OP!” posts. > > Others start out with fairly mundane questions or issues, or a fairly nondescript OP, but develop into excellent conversations or debates. I think that, in judging the best thread, it’s reasonable to look beyond the OP to the thread as a whole. I’m going through this thread right now and reading the nominated threads that I hadn’t already ever seen or known about…(so far **at this post** , 25 threads are on the “list”)…and I just had to reply to this. I’m looking for best threads over all. Not just great OPs. Like you said, some of them I’ve read in this thread had funny, great, memorable OPs…but then just kinda drop off. Some, I’ve found, have great OPs and then inspire or create great replies or similar stories…and those are the ones I’m talking about. Those…or just threads that were so amazing and great in general and overall that people love. No doubt, by the time I finish reading this thread and the threads linked to, I’ll have more topics added to this list…but yeah, not all of them will make it. Like I said, up to your post right here, only about 26 are on it so far…out of about 30 or 35 already nominated. Not that I’m the end all decision maker on it. I’m just tending not to keep ones that are only a page long or the like (with other things wagered in, of course–I mean, a thread could be one of the greatest SDMB topics of all time but only be one page long, just in here so far, I haven’t really seen it yet…I think one was a birthday thread, and another was a pit thread that kinda slagged off near the end. :p). Keep them coming, though. Still probably need lots. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552/100 "2005-11-26T23:46:20Z")
Okay, reached the end…and like expected, the number has increased. 42 topics have thus far been added to the list. I didn’t read ALL of some of those that had mucho multiple pages, but enough to know that they were truly some of the greatest threads. 🙂 Just off hand, I can still think of about 12 or so topics that I thought were the best ever on here (and that get mentioned a lot of times all over), yet nobody’s nominated them yet. I’ll give it a bit more before I’ll put them in myself. : p [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-top-101-straightdope-threads-of-all-time/332552.md?page=6)