# The town Crazy lady (not me this time :)) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2020, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456 "2020-03-27T20:51:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/1 "2020-03-27T20:51:07Z")
Every small town has one. Ours was: Gloria. She walked up town, dressed outrageously. Haunted public places. Was seen at all hours. Sometimes acting out her crazy. The back story was she was wealthy but her brother controlled her money. It seems she was left here by an ex-beau who never returned. She lived in the big hotel on the 3rd floor. Sometimes she would dance on her balcony naked. Highschool boys would sit in their cars waiting for the show. It was rumored she might have been a professional dancer at one time. She went to all the funerals in town. That one was true, I saw her myself at a couple. I spoke to her one time. I was at the public library doing a book report. I got up from the table and went to put a reference book back. When I returned she was in my seat reading my papers. I said “Excuse me, but that’s my stuff” she responded that my report was very good, but I had a few typos. She sauntered off, waving a colorful scarf and singing the alka-seltzer song from TV ads. “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is…” I saw her at Pizza Hut, once. She was at the salad bar filling her plate using her hands. Slinging lettuce everywhere. Tossing cherry tomatoes at people walking by. The Manager called the cops and she was removed. They put a sign on the door…“Gloria is trespassed from this Pizza Hut”, that sign was there forever. Heck, it may still be there. I’ll look the next time I’m there. Gloria died in the early 2000s, It was never reported or told that I knew. I just thought about one day and asked around. I guess she got to go to one last funeral. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2020, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/2 "2020-03-27T22:26:32Z")
Was this the small town with the fountain? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/3 "2020-03-28T01:30:03Z")
Hon, try something else. It’s decades past when I could sell Southern Gothic. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/4 "2020-03-28T01:32:22Z")
Sounds like a \*\*Drive-By Truckers \*\*song. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/5 "2020-03-28T01:54:55Z")
But… I didn’t tell you the part where she had a cat. A ‘declawed’ cat! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/6 "2020-03-28T02:00:37Z")
Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? Or did I hear you say you’d be meeting him here today To take you to his mansion in the sky? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/7 "2020-03-28T02:30:00Z")
Like I said, every town has one. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/8 "2020-03-28T02:51:25Z")
Laura Branigan had a song called ‘Gloria’ Kinda fits. (:)) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/9 "2020-03-28T04:41:32Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Laura Branigan had a song called ‘Gloria’ So did Vivaldi. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/10 "2020-03-28T12:27:17Z")
as did [The Shadows of Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdAezc-RX-o) ---
**Author:** ![2Bits](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e95f7d/32.png) [@2Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2Bits)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/11 "2020-03-28T13:15:31Z")
Wonderful story Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/12 "2020-03-28T13:29:40Z")
> [@LH75](#): > > as did [The Shadows of Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdAezc-RX-o) And people in the What is Arlington to You thread think I’m weird because to me it’s my, and some of their, high school. Two things, though: It’s The Shadows of Knight, with a K; and I worked with a guy who claimed to have played the drums on the session. I said, ‘Guy, you were nine, but it’s so simple a nine year old could’ve played them.’ ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/13 "2020-03-28T13:36:38Z")
**dropzone** , my very amateur five piece combo did a killer version of Gloria. It was the easiest tune we learned. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/14 "2020-03-28T16:05:26Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Like I said, every town has one. Like a fiddler. On the roof. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/15 "2020-03-28T17:04:07Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on? > Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? > Or did I hear you say you’d be meeting him here today > To take you to his mansion in the sky? I was hearing “Ruby Red Dress” in my head as I read the OP. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/16 "2020-03-28T19:11:29Z")
For every _I am Woman, hear me roar_ anthem Helen Reddy recorded there is a dozen tales of frail, fragile women that men did very wrong. ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/17 "2020-03-29T19:39:33Z")
The actual “town” down the road hosts a great many, often seen jaywalking across the narrow highway while flinging stuff about. Beware who you smile at. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2020, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-town-crazy-lady-not-me-this-time/850456/18 "2020-03-29T22:35:32Z")
I make ‘NO’ eye contact in the little village near me. Scary, scary place.