# The "Tradwife" lifestyle: Does anyone else find this appealing, or have personal experience with it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 1, 2024, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528 "2024-11-01T02:07:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/21 "2024-11-01T03:23:52Z")
Moderating: Having received a number of flags urging a change from FQ to IMHO, I agree. This is better in that forum. Moving. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/22 "2024-11-01T03:33:59Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I mean, why would anyone, male or female, WANT to live in an unhappy marriage with someone who can’t leave them? Simple: a power trip. It’s more fun for somebody like that if their “partner” is unhappy and can’t escape; it reinforces their sense of dominance. Needless to say this is the sort of person you should run away from, not marry. Also, note that the “Bible Belt” where “traditional” marriages are the most common is also where _divorces_ are the most common. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/23 "2024-11-01T03:43:45Z")
In my traditional marriage I wanted stability, kids I didn’t think I could have. He had 2 motherless babies. I knew I’d never be able to work. My degree was shit, anyway. But I would never have signed up if I had to give up my autonomy or _self_. Such as it was/is. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/24 "2024-11-01T03:48:02Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > “Tradwife” means a thing on social media. Not what you’re talking about. Look at the post above yours. It’s real. Not a social media thing. Not saying it isn’t displayed there. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Also, I don’t think your personal experience meshes well with what is being discussed here. Listen to the podcast I linked above and see if you can associate with that. I’m guessing you’ll respond with “hell no!” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/25 "2024-11-01T03:49:30Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > In my traditional marriage I wanted stability, kids I didn’t think I could have. He had 2 motherless babies. It’s clear that yours wasn’t a “tradwife” lifestyle, which is completely different than a traditional marriage. Why are you continuing to make this about you? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/26 "2024-11-01T03:56:13Z")
I never said it was my life. My first post says that. I am explaining the difference. Some people in this thread don’t seem to know what “Tradwife” means. Why do you keep saying I’m trying to make this about me? Hmm? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/27 "2024-11-01T03:58:41Z")
Not a problem! ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/28 "2024-11-01T03:58:57Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I never said it was my life. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Why do you keep saying I’m trying to make this about me? Near 25% of the posts here are by you (so far). If you are not a “tradwife” what point are you making? ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/29 "2024-11-01T03:59:45Z")
Years ago I watched a television show about a family with somewhere in the neighborhood of 20ish kids? I can’t recall the name of the show. I found it repulsive but just had to watch. Stunning that there are folks who find this appealing. I would not. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/30 "2024-11-01T04:00:59Z")
The Duggers ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/31 "2024-11-01T04:02:40Z")
Explaining the difference. That’s my point. Trad in _Tradwife_ is supposed to mean traditional. It’s not. It’s a made up, fake thing on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/32 "2024-11-01T04:02:46Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > The Duggers OMG yes that was the name! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/33 "2024-11-01T04:03:09Z")
I have long read that Mormons have the highest divorce rate of any mainstream religious group in the U.S. I do know that they place great emphasis on the wedding, without thinking so much about the marriage (which is for eternity, not just until death do us part) and they don’t do premarital counseling either. I also post on a true-crime board, and whenever there’s a family annihilation, and 5 or more children, 90%+ of the time, they’re Mormon, even if they aren’t in Utah. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/34 "2024-11-01T04:04:45Z")
The Duggars, that’s who. They were, among other things, Quiverfull. One thing that women who escaped the Quiverfull movement, and women who escaped FLDS (that isolated Mormon cult where men have multiple wives), at least the ones I’ve seen interviewed, was that they never saw a marriage that anyone could have described as happy. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/35 "2024-11-01T04:04:54Z")
Sadly they were from Arkansas. And it went completely ass sideways. Oldest kid sexually abused his sisters. Mom had one more kid who is severely handicapped. The girls are all crazy. Tried to have their own shows. Still trying I’d bet. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/36 "2024-11-01T04:06:07Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > It’s a made up, fake thing on the internet. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > “Tradwife” means a thing on social media. Not what you’re talking about. > > Maybe I’m wrong, but I think the OP is asking about the trend on SM. Refer to ALL of OPs posts. They give details. It isn’t about social media although the term might’ve started there. Can you pivot from the social media def of tradwife to what is being discussed here? ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/37 "2024-11-01T04:06:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Sadly they were from Army. And it went completely ass sideways. Oldest kid sexually abused his sisters. Mom had one more kid who is severely handicapped. The girls are all crazy. Tried to have their own shows. Still trying I’d bet. Oh that’s right. Now I remember about the son who was charged with sexual abuse. Insane family for sure. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/38 "2024-11-01T04:08:54Z")
From what I can see, there are two different, but not disconnected, things going on. _Traditional wives_ seem to be, as several have noted, those who follow traditional gender roles in their marriages: maintaining the home, cooking meals, bearing and caring for children, etc., as well as some level of submission to their husbands as the heads of their families. Women who belong to many conservative/fundamentalist religious groups and churches (as described by the OP in post #19) often take on this role, at least in part because it’s what their churches, and their social circles, expect of them; in a lot of cases, it appears to be even more extreme: not driving, not voting, not working outside the home, not receiving extensive formal education, wearing extremely conservative clothing, having a very large number of children, etc. _Tradwives_ are similar, but the term is a recent one, and it _is_, at least in part, a social media thing (as Beck noted). From what I can see from the articles below, it’s not only about traditional gender roles, but also – particularly as portrayed by women who promote the tradwife lifestyle as social media influencers – cultivating an almost-impossibly perfect, effortless, picturesque lifestyle: elaborate homemade meals, hand-sewn clothes, spotless homes, perfect children, and being dressed, frankly, like June Cleaver. It also appears that, in many cases, these are women who had worked in (and left) corporate America, and who have the advantage of being married to husbands who make a ton of money. > **[No, a Tradwife Is Not the Same Thing as a Stay-At-Home Mom](https://www.parents.com/tradwife-meaning-and-why-its-controversial-8656603)** > > A tradwife refers to a woman who embraces traditional gender roles, particularly focusing on homemaking and supporting their husband as the primary breadwinner. It's being compared to a stay-at-home mom but it's not the same thing. > **[Sundresses and rugged self-sufficiency: ‘tradwives’ tout a conservative...](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/ng-interactive/2024/jul/24/tradwives-tiktok-women-gender-roles)** > > The aesthetic, which celebrates homesteading, milkmaids and ‘the feminine urge to take care of your husband’, hinges on a history today’s Republicans would fiercely oppose ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/39 "2024-11-01T04:10:29Z")
Moderating: > [@needscoffee](#): > > It’s clear that yours wasn’t a “tradwife” lifestyle, which is completely different than a traditional marriage. Why are you continuing to make this about you? @Beckdawrek is free to express her opinions about what the “tradwife” lifestyle is, even if those opinions are wrong, and I’m not saying they are or aren’t. Do not attack her personally for expressing them. It’s not unusual for posters in IMHO to express a point of view based on their personal experience. Attack the post, not the poster. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2024, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/40 "2024-11-01T04:10:29Z")
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