# The "Tradwife" lifestyle: Does anyone else find this appealing, or have personal experience with it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 1, 2024, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528 "2024-11-01T02:07:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/161 "2024-11-03T08:15:04Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I bet you didn’t know purple nail polish on your ring finger signifies Domestic violence awareness. And tells women in danger you will try to help. You know, I’ve been a woman all my life and even worked in a clinic where we had to be on the look out for abuse and exploitation and yet I have never heard of any of this. I currently work in a job where I’m face to face with hundreds of people from the general public everyday. It’s not like I live under a rock, either. I agree with @LSLGuy, whoever is coming up with these is doing a terrible job getting the word out. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/162 "2024-11-03T08:26:37Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I think the main difference between a “Traditional Wife” like you describe and a “TradWife” is that with a Traditional Wife, the man is expected to provide for the wife while she takes of the household, kids, and much of the social activities. While he earns most, if not all the money, the understanding is that it’s “our” money to be spent on the household and the wife is doing most of these activities so the Husband can bust his ass working 100 hour weeks and going on business trips so he can get the big promotion. > > “TradWife” sounds like typical toxic manosphere bullshit Incel fantasy where the Wife is some sort of Stepford robot whose job it is to wait on the husband hand and foot and take care of his every needs. I think you’re on to something there. There’s a difference between running a household as an economic unit with different parties having different responsibilities to make the whole thing work out, but both of them getting to enjoy the results. There was a meme back in the mid-20th Century (and probably much earlier) that so many pine for out of nostalgia where the man made all the money and the wife spent it, and while there were probably abuses of it and jokes made about it, the notion was that the wife used the household money to buy groceries and other needed items, that is, made decisions about the household. It wasn’t egalitarian when women couldn’t get a credit card in their own name and needed their husband’s approval for bank accounts and real estate purchases, but women had some agency in their own lives. The “toxic manosphere” BS is that the woman is completely subservient to the man, live in cook, household maid, and sex dispenser with no voice in the matter. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/163 "2024-11-03T13:01:17Z")
This. It’s not like there weren’t inherent flaws to that system. But men also had a sense of responsibility that their wife and children were something they had to provide for economically. The wife basically took care of everything else so the husband can focus on building the Brooklyn Bridge or fighting the Soviets. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/164 "2024-11-03T13:45:46Z")
I was wrong, the Ballerina wife has 8 kids! And she’s only 34! And they’re down for more. I did notice some oddly placed nail polish on her fingers. Maybe she’s sending a signal to her followers. TBT Daniel comes out with some zingers that are suspect, some backhanded comments that raise an eyebrow. 🤨 ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/165 "2024-11-03T15:08:50Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > I would love to discuss the christian nationalist version of “trad wife” I tried to bring up multiple times that is very real, and not a social media thing. We can see how frustrating this thread has been for you! you should start your own. Sadly, Christian Nationalism isn’t going away. 😠 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/166 "2024-11-03T15:20:10Z")
Here’s the hand gesture one (I didn’t know about the purple nail polish.) I’ve known about this and Angel Shots for a couple of years now. I’m not even sure how I came across it, but while it may not be completely mainstream, it’s not _that_ obscure. > **[WATCH: Kentucky sheriff shows how to do TikTok hand signal for help that led...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6XOeVkQYEk%2F)** > > A man was arrested after a 16-year-old girl who was reported to be missing was found in his car. The Laurel County Sheriff's Office said they were able to ar... Just for fun, I checked with my 10- and 8-year-old and asked them “do you know this hand signal” and performed it for them, and immediately they shouted out “yeah, help me, help me, help me!” ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/167 "2024-11-03T15:50:26Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Here’s my advice: stop using the term “tradwife” already. > > If what you really want to discuss (and you’ve made it very clear that it’s what you really want to discuss) is women in conservative Christian groups, and the “traditional wife” gender roles and marriage roles which are expected of them, use a different term. > > “Tradwife” is a term that appears, to many people, to have a very specific definition, related to social media influencers, and it’s clear that it’s not what you, or the OP, are hoping to talk about. Every time you use it, or the OP uses it, it re-opens that can of worms, and you’re short-circuiting the discussion. I disagree with this. “Tradwife” has a meaning other than influencers. It doesn’t include everyone who chooses traditional gender roles. It’s usually making a cultural and political statement, and often it includes a retro aesthetic. It’s something that influencers do, but it’s not restricted to influencers. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/168 "2024-11-03T15:57:46Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > I disagree with this. “Tradwife” has a meaning other than influencers. It doesn’t include everyone who chooses traditional gender roles. It’s usually making a cultural and political statement, and often it includes a retro aesthetic. It’s something that influencers do, but it’s not restricted to influencers. Even if that’s true, it’s almost undoubtedly still not the people whom the OP, and the poster to whom I was replying, appear to want to talk about. But, beyond that, the term _is_ closely associated with the social media aspect, and continued use of it in this thread keeps dragging it off-topic. ---
**Author:** ![MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@MW\_Degen\_Gamblr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MW_Degen_Gamblr)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/169 "2024-11-03T18:21:08Z")
Yep, traditional wives, tradwives, and SAHMs are three different things. Traditional wives are a subtype of SAHM. And, tradwives…are a bunch of troubled women on the internet looking for attention. Going by what I see on X, and the few I know in real life, tradwives are usually former “bad girls”. Typically former sex workers or ultra radical feminists. It is usually red pill guys who seek out tradwives. They shoot for traditional wives, but are usually unsuccessful. That’s because true (religious) traditional housewives are pretty clannish. They prefer to mate within their religious group. So, these red pill guys are forced to settle for tradwives. Midwest Degenerate Gambler -Rustic Appalachian pancake cabins is to suburban Kansas City Cracker Barrels as traditional wives is to tradwives. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/170 "2024-11-03T18:54:06Z")
I heard about the purple nail polish at least 15 years ago. I realize it’s undercover, it kinda needs to be. The women’s shelter I volunteered at had many things like this to tell women in desperate situations. I’m of the opinion if one woman is helped it’s a success. #PutTheNailInIt Was created after the word kinda leaked out and ads run on TV about it now. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/171 "2024-11-03T19:08:01Z")
This idea that wives that dont work are some sort of traditional wife makes me chuckle a bit. My wife works. I am older, and semi-retired now. My Mother worked. My Grandmother on my Dads side was a nurse. On my Mothers side a farmer- and farmers quite a way back- and altho a farmers wife has some aspects of a stay at home wife, she definitely works on the farm also. All my aunts worked, my great aunt was a (locally) famous kindergarten teacher for like 50 years- or was it 60? I have never known a “traditional” wife. I mean, I know they are out there, but what I am getting at is the term “:'traditional” for a stay at home wife- I dont think it is _all that traditional._ Now, yes, I knew several who took off work for like 5 years after having a baby- but then they went back. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/172 "2024-11-03T19:25:14Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Even if that’s true, it’s almost undoubtedly still not the people whom the OP, and the poster to whom I was replying, appear to want to talk about. > > But, beyond that, the term _is_ closely associated with the social media aspect, and continued use of it in this thread keeps dragging it off-topic. It’s clear to me what the OP meant. The people who are derailing this thread are the ones who are arguing that it means something different or can only apply to influencers. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/173 "2024-11-03T19:49:51Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > It’s clear to me what the OP meant. The people who are derailing this thread are the ones who are arguing that it means something different or can only apply to influencers. And the people who insist on continuing to use “tradwife” to describe what the OP was trying to ask about keep facilitating the derailing. ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/174 "2024-11-03T20:00:35Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > And the people who insist on continuing to use “tradwife” to describe what the OP was trying to ask about keep facilitating the derailing. You don’t like being wrong, do you? The OP is talking about tradwives. You’re defining tradwives as something else. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/175 "2024-11-03T20:01:08Z")
I’m going to give this thread a 5 hour time-out. When it re-opens, get back on topic and don’t debate on what the Topic is about. Hopefully @nearwildheaven can clarify what the topic should be about. Also remember, you can always Reply as a linked Topic. * * * * * * **If you are responding to something in a thread that is basically off-topic or likely to lead to a hijack, try this:** How to **Reply as a linked Topic** : Click Reply, in the upper left corner of the reply window is the reply type button, _looks like a curving arrow point to the right_. Choose **Reply as linked topic** and it starts a new thread. As an example, you can choose GD, IMHO or The Pit for it. That is actually the best method. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2024, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/176 "2024-11-04T01:04:26Z")
This topic was automatically opened after 5 hours. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2024, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/177 "2024-11-04T01:24:30Z")
Moderating: 1. the whole side conversation about signaling if you are in distress is a hijack. Please don’t post any more about it. 2. the op has made clear what they mean by “tradwife”. Let’s discuss that, and not argue about the best words to describe what they mean. That has also become a hijack. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2024, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/178 "2024-12-05T22:15:00Z")
he NYT had an article yesterday about Hannah Neeleman the day after CBS’ FBI has an episode about a “tradwife” serial killer. Probably not a coincidence, but what point they are making I don’t know. Simply promoting a show? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2024, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/179 "2024-12-06T18:14:53Z")
Too much putting people in boxes in this thread. Like most things there are wide variations of how people live their lives and trying to put them in a box may work for you, but I highly doubt it works for the people that you are defining. Take my wife and I for example. When she and I met, she was a career lobbyist in Washington DC. I lived and worked in the midwest. We dated and decided to get married. We both wanted children and she was happy to give up her career and move to where I lived…all her choice. While we are both Christian, neither of us is highly religious. During our first year of marriage, we decided to build a house with a contractor. My wife is very opinionated about things in our house, so she delayed finding a job in our town as she spent most of her time designing the details and working with the contractor on the building of our house. The week we closed on and moved into our house we found out she was pregnant with our first child. I make enough to support our family without additional income from her. All of our assets and accounts are in both of our names, we have two separate trusts of which we are the beneficiaries of the others trust and are also co-trustees on both trusts. Our children are now 17 and 14, respectively. My wife has been a stay at home mother for our children, their entire lives. We discuss major purchases (\> $2,500) anything less, either is free to spend. She takes girl trips with her friends. We coordinate kid transport for kids activities, but she does do the majority of it when I am working or traveling for work. She has discussed potentially going back to work after we become empty nesters, which she is free to do, if she wants, but it is by no means a financial neccesity. We spend more time talking about what we’re going to do when I retire. Is this a “tradwife” lifestyle or a “traditional” wife lifestyle, or just a way that a lot married people live? ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2024, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528/180 "2024-12-06T18:40:54Z")
I know one couple that has a very religious overtone to their marriage. Part of their vows was that husband obeys God and the wife obeys the husband. Thing is the wife is expected to do all of the tradwife (religious version) after working for 8 hours. I distinguish this from other tradwife situations where the woman does not have an outside job and is the absolute ruler as far as the house and kids is concerned. The husband may get the paycheck but it is the wife that decides what services to get and pays the bills, plans, buys and cooks dinner, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tradwife-lifestyle-does-anyone-else-find-this-appealing-or-have-personal-experience-with-it/1009528.md?page=10)