# The truly great threads in SDMB history **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879 "2009-03-01T15:31:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/1 "2009-03-01T15:31:50Z")
Sort of a poll, but more of a survey of the really great threads of the past. May be “past” only in the sense of no longer visible on the front pages of the various fora. I’m most fascinated by the ones that suddenly spring to life with off-the-wall loopiness. The one-liners flow at a rapid pace. Pages of nonsense build up for one prolonged orgy of community craziness. I don’t have much more than paraphrased titles and basic themes in mind as I post this OP so I apologize for not being able to do what I’m asking you to do, which is to identify, with a link if possible, those threads you know of where the zaniness of the Straight Dope hit its peak. Some I can think of offhand: Rock in a box – I burning your dog This thread is just about this thread Thread Hijack this thread a This isn’t the first thread to get into the nostalgia of great threads of the past, so if you want to link to some of the earlier threads on this same topic, that’s great, too. I just want to be in on one that takes off and flies. Those things are hard to create out of whole cloth. The mood needs to be right for a large group of folks. But, damn! One would be fun right now. If you have feelings on what it takes to make those things work, and why so many efforts to get them started fizzle out after one or two posts, maybe some analysis of their key ingredients would be instructive or enlightening. Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/2 "2009-03-01T15:43:55Z")
Well, if you’re just going for funny, instead of moving, there’s always the pimple thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=106449&highlight=pimple](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=106449&highlight=pimple) ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/3 "2009-03-01T15:53:11Z")
And, all the way back from November of 2008 [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=493537&highlight=Blimps](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=493537&highlight=Blimps) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/4 "2009-03-01T16:06:03Z")
Right on, **Baker**! Great ones. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/5 "2009-03-01T16:20:31Z")
My all-time favorite is from 2003: [Okay, who ordered the phoenix?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=192612) ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/6 "2009-03-01T16:24:14Z")
> [@Tracy\_Lord](#): > > My all-time favorite is from 2003: [Okay, who ordered the phoenix?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=192612) Ah, yes. That was a hoot. I had forgotten how much fun that was. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/7 "2009-03-01T16:47:48Z")
The Horror of Blimps was a classic. There are multiple threads in which **Sampiro** tells us all about his Southern Gothic three-ring circus of a family. There is also the entertaining and informative thread where **Fenris** taught us how to get lots of sex with the ultimate BBQ pork sandwich. Sorry I can’t search right now for links… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/8 "2009-03-01T18:00:01Z")
Do they make PVC big enough to launch a goat out of? > **[Do they make PVC big enough to launch a goat out of?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=41020)** > > Also, would PVC be the right material to make a goat cannon? Can structural soundness of the barrel be counted upon while properly launching the cloven ones? What would be the best propellant? Black powder, butane, gasoline, semtex? Would you use... Dang it, we have to wait 5 minutes between searches? That bites. Well, while I’m waiting, lets see if I can remember some of Scylla’s better threads: Evil Nazi Groundhogs must die! The Horror of Blimps Goat Porn ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/9 "2009-03-01T18:03:30Z")
I reread the great [I just ate three mushrooms](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=38764&highlight=homer+mushrooms) thread every now and then when I need a good laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/10 "2009-03-01T18:59:42Z")
[This one about Pit threads that probably won’t work out](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=434083) is pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/11 "2009-03-01T20:53:16Z")
Thanks to **Baker** ’s second post in this thread, here’s a straight shot to [The rock in the box: I burning your dog](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=203185) which I had listed in the OP. I feel 98% sure that I contributed at least once before to one of these “funniest threads” threads where links to them were collected and there were links to links sorts of things. But I have been back through 30 pages of threads I have posted in and have yet to locate any of them. But here are a few I have managed to locate: [Thread titles that will have 0 replies and 0 views](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=450213&highlight=thread) [Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=26280&highlight=thread) [New Thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=320583&highlight=thread) [This thread is just about this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=206379) ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/12 "2009-03-02T18:07:38Z")
[thread=289696]Would you shoot your child?[/thread] [thread=353356]Tool for removing broken lightbulb?[/thread] ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/13 "2009-03-02T18:32:09Z")
[thread=174503]Spider in my pants[/thread] ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/14 "2009-03-02T18:36:13Z")
The Sir Vival, [the world’s ugliest car](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=447959). ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/15 "2009-03-02T18:36:31Z")
Wonderful threads, **Lionne**. Just goes to show that BANNED Dopers can be lots of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/16 "2009-03-02T21:31:16Z")
There is the thread on the cow in the pool that elephant pool cover failed on. Anybody that can find the link I hope you do. [I think this was the product.](http://www.poolalarms.com/looploc_mesh_winter_pool_covers.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/17 "2009-03-02T22:41:19Z")
There was a thread many years ago that I still remember with fondness, though I suspect I’m the only one. It started off as a simple poll about how people wipe after pooping, and quickly degenerated into an incredibly graphic, inventively obscene series of descriptions that had me crying with laughter. You just don’t get threads like that any more. If anyone wants to take a stab at finding it, the only part I remember verbatim (or nearly) is the hairy guy who described wiping as being akin to “trying to remove peanut butter from shag carpet”. ---
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/18 "2009-03-02T23:07:38Z")
I have asked for a link to this thread in the past. It was about fake doctors that come to offices and have sex with the women. The best I could find was a reference to that thread in the OP here: [Fuck you, doctors - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345709) I have done numerous searches and couldn’t find the original thread ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/19 "2009-03-02T23:26:32Z")
> [@Dog80](#): > > I have asked for a link to this thread in the past. It was about fake doctors that come to offices and have sex with the women. > > The best I could find was a reference to that thread in the OP here: [Fuck you, doctors - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345709) > > I have done numerous searches and couldn’t find the original thread ☹ [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80750](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80750) I found it so quickly because I remembered the name of the OP: Bronzelion. By complete coincidence, I welcomed him to the boards in some random post of mine. Then, the next day, I wake up to see that pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879/20 "2009-03-02T23:28:37Z")
FLACODs **Hal Briston** , sheep; 'nuff said. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-truly-great-threads-in-sdmb-history/487879.md?page=2)