# The Trump Administration: A Clusterfuck in the Making **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 7, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070 "2016-12-07T00:25:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1760
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35185 "2019-08-03T19:03:38Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#): > > I wondered the same thing, but then I realized I wasn’t thinking eleventyseven-dimensionally like Dear Leader. He reads the Lamestream Media™, and if the Failed Washington Post (for example) says that a potential candidate is amoral, corrupt, ignorant, sycophantic, and manifestly unfit for the job … well, we have — or at least he has, and to hell with the rest of us — a winner! That’s what he doesn’t do, tho, as I pointed out. ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35186 "2019-08-03T19:22:20Z")
This: > [@k9bfriender](#): > > Given the rhetoric that comes from the right these days, he probably thought that the cops would be on his side. Bingo. Though he was wise enough to not resist the cops in any way, during his cuffing and a few seconds following, you can tell from the look on his face that he’s dismayed and forlorn. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35187 "2019-08-03T22:53:46Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > "We’ve been hearing a lot about cancer. I’ve been getting many calls from doctors, very respected people in terms of medical, the great Dr. John Hopkins. J-O-H-N-S Hopkins! Incredible names, so incredible. They’ve been saying to me, sir, the cancer is so big now, it’s like nothing anyone’s seen before. The cancer and our aides, it’s costing more money than you can imagine, and we have these Obamacare deals, very bad deals, we don’t know what to do. So I said, we’re going to cure our aides. And they said, Mr. President, two years and seven months ago we would never have believed a president would say we’re going to cure it. And I was leaving my speech that night, one of the greatest speeches, the fake fire marshals said we can’t even get all of these people in to see you - very unfair! - but there were these eight guys, very tough guys, they had cancer, but they were the toughest anyone’s ever seen, and they had tears in their eyes, real tears, and they were saying, thank you, sir, for saving us. > > So we’re going to be looking very strongly at medical. We’re looking at it like nobody ever has before, and we’re going to be making a tremendous announcement very soon, and I think you’re going to find out that many people will be very surprised by what we’re going to be finding out." Is this a real quote or did you write a parody of Trump. I can’t find this speech online but I will assume it is real. I wish I had words. "we’re going to cure our aides…my speech that night, one of the greatest speeches…the fake fire marshalls… very unfair!. Is this the real fucking world? I have posted before that I would stop watching the news about Trump and reading this thread. Not working so far. I want to see the motherfucker go down, but I just don’t think it is going to happen. I have seen confident posts on this board saying that the Mueller report would find him guilty of collusion and that Ivanka and Kushner would be indicted. Didn’t happen. Then, surely NY state would indict in the Stormy Daniels thing. Didn’t happen. Oh but surely, his tax returns will be released. A judge just blocked that. I have seen confident posts on this board, and elsewhere that Trump feels he must be re-elected because when he leaves office he will go to jail This fucking human scum who has done noting in his entire life but use people and steal from them will not pay for it. I’ll take the word of some poster who I can’t remember who said, months ago- He is going to get away with it, again! ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35188 "2019-08-03T22:57:29Z")
> [@Mike\_Mabes](#): > > Is this a real quote or did you write a parody of Trump. I can’t find this speech online but I will assume it is real. I wish I had words. "we’re going to cure our aides…my speech that night, one of the greatest speeches…the fake fire marshalls… very unfair!. > > Is this the real fucking world? > > I have posted before that I would stop watching the news about Trump and reading this thread. Not working so far. I want to see the motherfucker go down, but I just don’t think it is going to happen. I have seen confident posts on this board saying that the Mueller report would find him guilty of collusion and that Ivanka and Kushner would be indicted. Didn’t happen. Then, surely NY state would indict in the Stormy Daniels thing. Didn’t happen. Oh but surely, his tax returns will be released. A judge just blocked that. I have seen confident posts on this board, and elsewhere that Trump feels he must be re-elected because when he leaves office he will go to jail > > This fucking human scum who has done noting in his entire life but use people and steal from them will not pay for it. I’ll take the word of some poster who I can’t remember who said, months ago- He is going to get away with it, again! Nah, it’s a parody. Smatpi has the rather dubious gift of being able to write like trump. Not that that invalidates any of your ranting, as, while it was a parody, it wasn’t far from the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35189 "2019-08-03T23:00:38Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > "We’ve been hearing a lot about cancer. I’ve been getting many calls from doctors, very respected people in terms of medical, the great Dr. John Hopkins. J-O-H-N-S Hopkins! Incredible names, so incredible. They’ve been saying to me, sir, the cancer is so big now, it’s like nothing anyone’s seen before. The cancer and our aides, it’s costing more money than you can imagine, and we have these Obamacare deals, very bad deals, we don’t know what to do. So I said, we’re going to cure our aides. And they said, Mr. President, two years and seven months ago we would never have believed a president would say we’re going to cure it. And I was leaving my speech that night, one of the greatest speeches, the fake fire marshals said we can’t even get all of these people in to see you - very unfair! - but there were these eight guys, very tough guys, they had cancer, but they were the toughest anyone’s ever seen, and they had tears in their eyes, real tears, and they were saying, thank you, sir, for saving us. > > So we’re going to be looking very strongly at medical. We’re looking at it like nobody ever has before, and we’re going to be making a tremendous announcement very soon, and I think you’re going to find out that many people will be very surprised by what we’re going to be finding out." You scare me. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35190 "2019-08-03T23:02:39Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Nah, it’s a parody. Smatpi has the rather dubious gift of being able to write like trump. It’s all fun and games until **Smapti** gets The Fateful Phone Call: “Hello, Mr… Smap? The President’s been ‘Browsin’ The Dope’ as he puts it, and, well, he’s wondering if you’d like to write for him. $5000 per tweet if you’re interested…” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35191 "2019-08-03T23:09:00Z")
> [@digs](#): > > It’s all fun and games until **Smapti** gets The Fateful Phone Call: “Hello, Mr… Smap? The President’s been ‘Browsin’ The Dope’ as he puts it, and, well, he’s wondering if you’d like to write for him. $5000 per tweet if you’re interested…” Get paid up front. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35192 "2019-08-03T23:22:31Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Get paid up front. Cash. ---
**Author:** ![Mike\_Mabes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mike_mabes/32/1782_2.png) [@Mike\_Mabes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mike_Mabes)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2019, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35193 "2019-08-03T23:25:06Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Nah, it’s a parody. Smatpi has the rather dubious gift of being able to write like trump. > > Not that that invalidates any of your ranting, as, while it was a parody, it wasn’t far from the truth. Smatpi will you marry me? 57 year old white guy with a beer gut. But I got a full head of beautiful hair, you’ve never seen hair like this. And my hands, guitar player hands in proportion to other parts of my body. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35194 "2019-08-04T11:23:21Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Nah, it’s a parody. Smatpi has the rather dubious gift of being able to write like trump. It’s honestly not that hard. He has a simple mind, and he’s a lot simpler to emulate than many other people. It just takes paying attention to his verbal tics and habits, such as; - He uses “we” to mean “I” - He often creates stories where people call him, unsolicited, to ask for advice or offer praise - He often creates stories where groups of “tough” men are “in tears” and are thanking him for saving them - In both these narratives, the speakers always address him as “sir”, “Mr. Trump”, or “Mr. President” - He uses adjectives as nouns, often preceded by an article (“the nuclear”, “the cyber”, etc.) - He is fond of superlatives such as “great” or “incredible” when describing people who praise him, usually paired with a qualifier such as “in terms of” or “from the standpoint of” - He frequently refers to things in superlatives such as “like nobody’s ever seen” or “bigger than ever before” or “more than you could believe” - When he encounters a word he knows in a context which is unfamiliar to him, he tries to force it into the context he’s aware of, e.g. “Hillary bleached her emails with a very expensive chemical”, “they scrub the coal”, “they rake the forests” - When reading from a Teleprompter, he’ll encounter an idea or a name he was previously unfamiliar with and will break script to comment on it, e.g. “incredible names” or “so true” - “Difficult” words are often written phonetically (in parentheses) on his Teleprompter and he’ll read them out very carefully after initially mispronouncing them - Anyone or anything that is critical or negative to him is “fake”, “unfair”, or both - If the opportunity exists to jab at Obama, he will take it - He dodges saying anything of substance by saying that an announcement will be made soon, or that surprising things are coming, or “we’ll see what happens” ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35195 "2019-08-04T11:36:13Z")
> [@digs](#): > > It’s all fun and games until **Smapti** gets The Fateful Phone Call: “Hello, Mr… Smap? The President’s been ‘Browsin’ The Dope’ as he puts it, and, well, he’s wondering if you’d like to write for him. $5000 per tweet if you’re interested…” "I don’t have time to browse the Dope. I have a great relationship with Cecil Adams, one of the greatest relationships, I know more about Straight Dope than anyone who’s lived, but I don’t have time, I’m tremendously busy making America great again. But many of the people there are the worst people. They’re very unfair to me and our country, they say some of the nastiest things we’ve ever heard. They’ve been having very bad ratings lately, and we’re going to be looking very strongly at their licenses. Smapti is a man I know nothing about. He’s done very little for us. I gave him a chance because many people said he deserved one. He’s said some of the nastiest things about me, worse things than have ever been said about any president, including the great Abraham Lincoln, who I’ve heard had many terrible things said about him. They never treated Lincoln as unfairly as they treated Donald Trump. It’s a terrible situation, when no president has ever been better to Smapti than Trump has, that he doesn’t say “Thank you, Mr. President!”. Very ungrateful, very sad, but I’m president and he’s not." ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35196 "2019-08-04T12:11:00Z")
> [@digs](#): > > It’s all fun and games until **Smapti** gets The Fateful Phone Call: “Hello, Mr… Smap? The President’s been ‘Browsin’ The Dope’ as he puts it, and, well, he’s wondering if you’d like to write for him. $5000 per tweet if you’re interested…” The good news is that the SDMB is made up of nothing but written words, Trump wouldn’t give it a second glance. If he somehow made it to the main forum page he’d think he was looking at the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35197 "2019-08-04T12:20:50Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > Nah, it’s a parody. Smatpi has the rather dubious gift of being able to write like trump. > > Not that that invalidates any of your ranting, as, while it was a parody, it wasn’t far from the truth. [IMDB ‘Dave’](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106673/) To avoid a potentially explosive scandal when the U.S. President goes into a coma, an affable temp agency owner with an uncanny resemblance is put in his place. Hope you don’t look like him too, Smatpi ;). ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35198 "2019-08-04T12:33:59Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Hope you don’t look like him too, Smatpi ;). Not at all, thank Jeebus. I’ve had multiple coworkers and customers tell me I bear an uncanny resemblance to Ted Cruz, but fortunately since he grew his beard out the comparisons have stopped coming. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35199 "2019-08-04T12:48:56Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Cash. You may want to make it Euros. Or CHF. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2019, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35200 "2019-08-04T12:57:41Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I’ve had multiple coworkers and customers tell me I bear an uncanny resemblance to Ted Cruz My condolences. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35201 "2019-08-06T03:21:41Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I’ve had multiple coworkers and customers tell me I bear an uncanny resemblance to Ted Cruz… In Texas, those are “fahhtin’ words”. Y’know, your coworkers were hoping you’d throw a punch, so they could go home and start collecting Workers’ Comp. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35202 "2019-08-06T05:33:42Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > I’ve had multiple coworkers and customers tell me I bear an uncanny resemblance to Ted Cruz, but fortunately since he grew his beard out the comparisons have stopped coming. “Grew it out”? Are you sure? Because I swear I can see a glueline in every shot. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35203 "2019-08-06T13:00:26Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > My condolences. > [@digs](#): > > In Texas, those are “fahhtin’ words”. > > Y’know, your coworkers were hoping you’d throw a punch, so they could go home and start collecting Workers’ Comp. I honestly find it amusing more than anything, since anyone who knows me knows I’m _nothing_ like Cruz. My locker in the breakroom has [this sticker](https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.544812667.8933/flat,550x550,075,f.u3.jpg) on it in lieu of my name. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2019, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070/35204 "2019-08-06T14:13:53Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Cash. make sure the ink is dry - [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070.md?page=1759) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-trump-administration-a-clusterfuck-in-the-making/774070.md?page=1761)