# The TV Show Quote Challenge Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 2, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481 "2005-06-02T01:32:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/1 "2005-06-02T01:32:36Z")
We’ve had movie quote and song lyrics contests. Let’s have a TV quote contest. Say the show, the character speaking the line, and add some quotes of your own. I’ll throw a few easy ones out there to start. Well, maybe not all easy. Okay, the first one is REALLY easy. 1. “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” 2. “Spare me your pork-scented lies!” 3. “Women… can’t live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.” 4. “Peter, those are Cheerios.” 5. “I’m gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!” ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/2 "2005-06-02T02:03:07Z")
#3 is Norm Peterson on _Cheers_. 🙂 “You know, we’re not the only ones destroying trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist, why don’t you go club a few beavers?” ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/3 "2005-06-02T02:03:31Z")
1. The Simpsons(?) -\> Homer 2. Cheers -\> Norm(?) 3. Family Guy -\> Brian 4. “If you had half as much fun watching this show as we did making it, well, then we had twice as much fun making the show as you did watching it.” 5. “Eating cardboard can ruin your life. You could end up in the street living in a box. Then you’ll eat the box, and you’ll be homeless.” 6. “Boyd whipped Eddie, Eddie borrowed money from me, I’m playing Boyd double or nothing, I was kickin’ butt, Boyd broke my glasses, five hundred on the line, can’t see a darn thing.” ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/4 "2005-06-02T02:08:33Z")
Good God. I get this one? 1. WKRP in Cincinnati - Mr Carlson #9 “Your ventricle is showing.” ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/5 "2005-06-02T02:11:10Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” Easy because it come from the funniest. episode. ever. of _WKRP in Cinncinati_ “Catholic grief, Protestant grief, Jewish grief . . . its all grief to me” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/6 "2005-06-02T02:22:06Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > 1. “I’m gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!” Bender, from Futurama. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/7 "2005-06-02T02:27:17Z")
1. “Ta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ke the envelo-o-o-o-o-o-o-pe!” 2. “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants.” 3. “ **Who** says I’m dumb?” 4. “I’m going to show you the glorious results of a misspent youth.” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/8 "2005-06-02T02:28:52Z")
> [@Garfield226](#): > > 1. “If you had half as much fun watching this show as we did making it, well, then we had twice as much fun making the show as you did watching it.” Michael Palin used this line at least once on Monty Python’s Flying Circus ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/9 "2005-06-02T02:33:18Z")
Interesting. Not where I was thinking of though. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/10 "2005-06-02T02:50:38Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > 1. “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants.” The motto of Chuckles the Clown in the Mary Tyler Moore Show’s classic episode, “Chuckles Bites the Dust.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/11 "2005-06-02T03:14:43Z")
Make sure you keep the numbers sequential. I’ll try to wrap this together so far. 1. “As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” _Answered by Jonathan Chance - Arthur Carlson from “WKRP in Cincinnati”_ 2. “Spare me your pork-scented lies!” Not correctly answered so far 3. “Women… can’t live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.” _Answered by Tracy Lord - Norm Peterson from “Cheers”_ 4. “Peter, those are Cheerios.” _Answered by Garfield226 - Brian Griffin from “Family Guy”_ 5. “I’m gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!” _Answered by Cisco - Bender the Robot from “Futurama”_ 6. “If you had half as much fun watching this show as we did making it, well, then we had twice as much fun making the show as you did watching it.” 7. “Eating cardboard can ruin your life. You could end up in the street living in a box. Then you’ll eat the box, and you’ll be homeless.” 8. “Boyd whipped Eddie, Eddie borrowed money from me, I’m playing Boyd double or nothing, I was kickin’ butt, Boyd broke my glasses, five hundred on the line, can’t see a darn thing.” 9. “Your ventricle is showing.” 10. “Catholic grief, Protestant grief, Jewish grief . . . it’s all grief to me” 11. “Ta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ke the envelo-o-o-o-o-o-o-pe!” 12. “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants.” 13. “Who says I’m dumb?” 14. “I’m going to show you the glorious results of a misspent youth.” ---
**Author:** ![saramamalana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/74df32/32.png) [@saramamalana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saramamalana)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/12 "2005-06-02T03:40:24Z")
1. “I hate fondue - I’m always losing my bread.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/13 "2005-06-02T03:42:16Z")
1. “Everyone knows Lincoln loved mayonaise.” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/14 "2005-06-02T04:20:37Z")
> [@Garfield226](#): > > 1. “Eating cardboard can ruin your life. You could end up in the street living in a box. Then you’ll eat the box, and you’ll be homeless.” Dan, from _Roseanne_. 1. “_Why_ are we walking like this?” ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/15 "2005-06-02T04:36:32Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Dan, from _Roseanne_. Indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/16 "2005-06-02T04:38:41Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > 1. “Spare me your pork-scented lies!” > Not correctly answered so far Sounds like Zim talking to Dib on Invader Zim. He’s said a few things with the same general formula, although I can’t think of a particular use of that one. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/17 "2005-06-02T05:10:21Z")
> [@Garfield226](#): > > 1. “If you had half as much fun watching this show as we did making it, well, then we had twice as much fun making the show as you did watching it.” Is that from _Two Ronnies_? 1. “Yeah, but look at it this way, an inch or two to the left and he’d have missed me completely.” 2. “Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman that ever lived.” 3. “There are essentially six options. One, ignore it, two, file a protest, three, issue a statement condemning it, four, cut off aid, five, sever diplomatic relations, six, declare war. Now, if we ignore it, we tacitly acknowledge it, if we file a protest it’ll be ignored, if we issue a statement it will seem weak, we can’t cut off aid because we’re not giving any, if we sever relations we risk losing the oil contract and if we declare war… people might just think we’re overreacting.” 4. “On a scale of one-to-ten, it sucked.” And if anybody gets this one, I’ll be amazed. 1. “Anna, if you tell me to bend like a willow I’m gonna throw up.” ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/18 "2005-06-02T05:12:11Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#): > > Is that from _Two Ronnies_? It may very well be, but that’s not where I heard it. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/19 "2005-06-02T05:27:28Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#): > > 1. “Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most desirable woman that ever lived.” Red Dwarf. Can’t remember whether it was Lister or Cat that said it, but it was while the two of them were watching Flintstones and talking about how hot Wilma and Better were. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481/20 "2005-06-02T05:28:54Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > Wilma and Better Er…Wilma and Bett **y**. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-tv-show-quote-challenge-thread/306481.md?page=2)