# The Twisty Springer Show **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 17, 2001, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495 "2001-01-17T11:25:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/21 "2001-01-17T14:28:59Z")
So “what be on your mind?” as you put it tater? who is this “real man”? ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/22 "2001-01-17T14:32:12Z")
Uhh, yeah… Twisty, I’se jus’ wan’ say \*(to **tatertot** ) \* lil’ miss thang there think she ALL DAT, but tha’ Clog-Boy gonna find out soon what he done give up, cuz. The **owl**? Dude, she be fine - she all THAT, a bag o’ chips, AN a forty! **Astroboy** , man, you a _FREAK!_ Da llama, she be deservin’ better dan you. Oh, an’ Twisty? Lemme axe you a qwestion - weren’t dat llama on here las’ week on da show ‘bout da “Secret Sex Jobs”? Look like she been gettin some body work done since then! You cain’t be tellin’ me dem things is REAL! ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/23 "2001-01-17T14:43:12Z")
Oh no you didn’t forget! ::lots of neck bobbing and arm thrusting:: Twisty, you don’t remember two years ago, the message parlor down on 45th street? I know you remember cause your picture was on the front page after they busted your ass! Yeah, remember me now? Huh? Yeah, that’s right Twisty Springer be my baby’s daddy. And I came here today get my child support! Of course, Twisty ain’t the **real man** I wuz talking about. I think I’m gonna let my man come out here and speak for himself. And **Tygr** you wish you had some good as this ::assorted strutting and lewd touching of oneself::: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/24 "2001-01-17T14:47:58Z")
That wasn’t me!! Tater, I got a surprise for you!! \*A man enters the stage wearing a Twisty springer mask Yup! thats right! Your Babies daddy is… \*twisty Springer mask is torn off to reveal… **JimmyNipples!!** so, who is your secret man? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/25 "2001-01-17T14:50:21Z")
_Coldfire sprints towards JimmyNipples and punches him in da head_ ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/26 "2001-01-17T15:07:21Z")
You’re just trying to get out of the $15.000 a month court-ordered child support payment! I can prove you be my baby’s daddy! :::enter that Abe Lincoln looking DNA expert motherfucker::: And my secret man is late, he had to work, something some of these clowns could be taking lessons in :::glares accusingly at Coldfire, Astroboy and Jimmy Nipples::: ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/27 "2001-01-17T15:24:01Z")
\*Homer drags the now unconcious Jimmy Nipples from the stage, and puts him on top of the now growing pile of knocked out Springer guests. The Crowd settle down, after much hooting and hollering. Until your “Mystery man” shows up tater, I’m going to continue with the show. \*the guests move back while 3 new chairs are put on the stage… Please welcome our new guest. she is here to tell her 2 live in life partners that she has a secret to tell them. Could our new guest pleaswe intorduce ourselves and give her side of the story?? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/28 "2001-01-17T15:27:16Z")
thats “Could our new guest please introduce herself and give us her side of the story?” \*Hands Tater a big cloth bag with a large green “ **$** ” on the side. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/29 "2001-01-17T18:36:02Z")
::screech-owl regains consciousness in the green room in time to hear: > [@](#): > > **…we ain’t got no phone since somebody spent all the money to pay for Bitch here to get a weave…** Weave? I’ll give you a _ **g weave, you \*\*\*\* i\*o n g \*\*pu** _\*!!! ::struggles with Homer and the other bouncers backstage, knocking over several chairs in the green room, gets away and bolts on stage:: Look, you \*\*\*\*_ **g tater, this is my og hair, not some f-** _ weave, you \*_ **g \*\*\*\*r! Let’s see if your \*\*\*\*\*\*\*h hair is \*c** _real! ::grabs tatertot out of her chair by the hair and starts beating the \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* out of her onstage. ::assorted whooping and hollering from the audience as various pieces of clothing are torn.:: ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/30 "2001-01-18T00:13:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Astroboy, man, you a FREAK! Da llama, she be deservin’ better dan you. **Tygr** , _You want somma this? **YOU WANT SOMMA THIS??** _ Come on, then Ms. Thang!! Bring it on! **Astroboy rips off his shirt and beats his chest, taunting Tygr** ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495/31 "2001-01-24T18:22:04Z")
_Jimmynipples shakes the cobwebs off_ _Gets off the pile of people…looks around for Dutchie_ _Can’t find him…so, of course, unzips fly to reveal a massive penis with numerous piercings_ “I gonna axe yall one thing…You want some of dis?? You want dis??” _Coldie blind sides Jimmynipples again. Pants around ankles, pierced dink flopping in the breeze…the fight is on!!!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-twisty-springer-show/50495.md?page=1)