# The Two-Fisted Heroes' Guide to Time Travel **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 26, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868 "2013-11-26T23:33:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/21 "2013-11-27T14:26:43Z")
> [@Not\_Carlson](#): > > So you’d want to be the punchee? Hey, you’ve got five seconds. Marilyn’s just gonna get in one good slap. Me, I figure it’s worth it. 😃 (TR, though… nah.) Me, I’d rather go through history giving pies to the face. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/22 "2013-11-27T14:29:31Z")
Dan Rather on October 5, 1986 (the day after the attack that inspired the well-known R.E.M. song). Five seconds should be enough to belt out “Kenneth, what is the frequency?” Freak his ass right out. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/23 "2013-11-27T15:12:59Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > (TR, though… nah.) Well, he did carry a bick stick. > [@LawMonkey](#): > > Me, I’d rather go through history giving pies to the face. I like your style! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/24 "2013-11-27T15:16:18Z")
And what am I supposed to do with my _other_ fist? ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/25 "2013-11-27T15:18:42Z")
_You’re asking the internet?_ ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/26 "2013-11-27T16:04:15Z")
What would happen if I went back in time and punched myself right before I went back in time to punch myself? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/27 "2013-11-27T17:42:45Z")
Can we wear what we want, for the trip? ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/28 "2013-11-27T18:44:00Z")
In one special case, that of President Kennedy, I might just delicately balance a jelly donut on his head at the critical moment. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/29 "2013-11-27T19:16:04Z")
…or, y’know, punch Houdini in the face a moment before the kid could suckerpunch his appendix… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/30 "2013-11-27T19:34:12Z")
Mohammed Atta. It’s recent enough that all my kids have been born, so I’m not screwing up my past at all. And maybe that somehow detains him enough to miss his flight, and 9/11 is not as bad, and Bush doesn’t get reelected, and… ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/31 "2013-11-27T20:22:51Z")
Whoever thought up [the Knockout Game](http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/11/25/guess-what-the-knockout-game-is-america-s-latest-phony-panic.html). (The\* real\* irony is that it was my Dad who invented the game and _that’s_ how he met my Mom!) ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/32 "2013-11-27T20:38:20Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > Whoever thought up [the Knockout Game](http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/11/25/guess-what-the-knockout-game-is-america-s-latest-phony-panic.html). (The\* real\* irony is that it was my Dad who invented the game and _that’s_ how he met my Mom!) Ever think about how he got the idea for the game? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/33 "2013-11-27T22:13:57Z")
The Place: Deepest Africa The Time: Circa 500 BC After a hard days hunting a group of men are sitting around the campfire on a pleasant evening, relaxing and chewing the fat. Suddenly there is a flash of blue light and a strange pale looking dude wearing odd clothing appears in the camp, he looks quickly around, steps forward and whacks poor old inoffensive Bob who falls backwards off his log, legs splayed in the air. Another flash of blue light and suddenly the apparition is gone, leaving a general expression of ‘o\_O’ in the camp, one of the men careful sets his ‘special’ leaves to the side… What can I say, the idea just amuses me…😃 ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/34 "2013-11-27T22:16:19Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > Ever think about how he got the idea for the game? No. Why? Besides, he told me he borrowed the idea from my Uncle Sanchez’ game called ‘Mule Punch,’ which, unfortunately, never got all that popular. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868/35 "2013-11-28T06:06:28Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > What would happen if I went back in time and punched myself right before I went back in time to punch myself? Well, really you could just do that right now, without the need for all the mucking about with time travel. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-two-fisted-heroes-guide-to-time-travel/674868.md?page=1)