# The Ultimate Ashes Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 25, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539 "2005-08-25T07:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/21 "2005-08-26T21:07:09Z")
Poor old Martyn - chiselled again. Not quite as hard an inside edge as at Old Trafford but blatant enough. Why can’t the third umpire (the one who ruled on Trescothick’s edge onto foot catch on Thursday) have an emergency button to contact the umpire out in the middle immediately so that he can say “Hang on! Don’t put your finger up yet, Steve. I think he hit that one. Just gis a sec while I have a swift butcher’s at the replay”. Bob’s yer uncle, only about a 15 second delay and justice served? ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/22 "2005-08-26T21:21:02Z")
Australia end the day on 99 for 5. They will be very lucky to avoid the follow-on at this rate. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/23 "2005-08-27T03:01:42Z")
> [@seosamh](#): > > Poor old Martyn - chiselled again. Not quite as hard an inside edge as at Old Trafford but blatant enough. For umpires, these fine edges are very difficult to see, and in a Test arena almost impossible to hear. So: > [@](#): > > Why can’t the third umpire (the one who ruled on Trescothick’s (Strauss, for the record) edge onto foot catch on Thursday) have an emergency button to contact the umpire out in the middle immediately so that he can say “Hang on! Don’t put your finger up yet, Steve. I think he hit that one. Just gis a sec while I have a swift butcher’s at the replay”. Bob’s yer uncle, only about a 15 second delay and justice served? But what about if he discovers it only as the bowler is coming up to bowl to the next batsman? Recall the batsman? Or have all bats who got dodgy decisions come back to bat when the last batter is out? What about bowlers who get dodgy decisions (Billy Bowden gave several equally poor, equally clear-cut “Not outs” against the unlucky bowler, who anyway, by the Laws of Cricket, already have the odds stacked against them)? Buzz the ump and tell him to raise his crooked finger?! Ensuring the best umpires are standing and using them is still the answer, I think, for LBWs, caught behinds (thin edges and legside catches are tough calls) and bat-pads. TV is often inconclusive on these anyhow. For line decisions, and grassed catches, TV replays and third umpires work well. I’d extend (if not already done) referrals on catches to ALL catches - not just those where both umpires are unsighted. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/24 "2005-08-27T10:06:21Z")
Obviously, my scenario of the 3rd umpire saving a batsman who has clearly been chiselled would only work if he could signal his intention to review the decision before the new batsman sets foot onto the field of play (these days, in Tests at least, it always seems to take the full 3 minutes allowed by Law 31 - to allow for TV adverts - so there’s ample time for a review). The umpire could then make a signal, like dropping to his knees and placing his forehead on the ground three times - so the new batsman knows to wait. I wonder - is there a Head of Umpiring? Who, at the end of every day’s play, calls in the umpires and goes over their performance, showing them their good and bad decisions? “One more shocker like that, Billy, and you can shove your crooked finger up yer arse”? Bollocks - Katich and Warne out in consecutive balls and Jones on a hattrick. Don’t bother making plans to watch any cricket on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/25 "2005-08-27T10:13:08Z")
Two wickets off two balls for Simon Jones, another brilliant moment in this increasingly brilliant series. Goodbye Katich and Warne. ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/26 "2005-08-27T10:22:19Z")
… and there goes Gilchrist. Wow, blink and you’re missing them today. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/27 "2005-08-27T10:35:34Z")
Kinell! How good was Strauss’s catch? I’ve not seen better in 30 years. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/28 "2005-08-27T11:00:34Z")
Australia 218 all out. It looks as though England are going to make Australia bat again. ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/29 "2005-08-27T11:01:25Z")
The follow on has been enforced. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/30 "2005-08-27T11:06:50Z")
Some great tail-end hitting by Brett Lee. Credit where it’s due! ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/31 "2005-08-27T11:14:15Z")
> [@ColonelDax](#): > > The follow on has been enforced. First time since 1988 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/32 "2005-08-27T11:35:53Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > First time since 1988 😃 When Australia lost to Pakistan. What’s the consensus on Jason Gillespie - is he just having a poor run, or is it something more than that? He is 30 now, so starting to get up there in athletic terms. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/33 "2005-08-27T11:45:52Z")
He’s definitely lost the plot on this tour. Did you read [his interview](http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/engvaus/content/story/217174.html) in the Daily Mirror? ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/34 "2005-08-27T12:53:57Z")
To make matters worse for the Aussies it looks like the England Women’s cricket team are going to win their test in a game that seems eerily similar. [Link.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/womens_cricket/4190522.stm) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/35 "2005-08-27T15:55:26Z")
Just a short time ago, I heard on the BBC Sport Player (during the men’s Ashes Tea Break) that the Women’s Ashes side had won their match. Outstanding! Also shortly after that, I heard that Ponting was Run Out. Seems to me that England is doing not all that bad this time around. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/36 "2005-08-27T15:58:12Z")
Left out whose side 'twas: England’s Women’s won their Ashes. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/37 "2005-08-27T19:37:08Z")
Australia four down by the close and still needing 30-odd to make England bat again. One slight cause for concern is the prospect of Australia ending up defending a modest total with Warne bowling on a badly-worn pitch, but we can always hope… Geraint Jones missed another stumping, tho’ I didn’t see it and don’t know how difficult it was. ---
**Author:** ![seosamh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@seosamh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seosamh)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/38 "2005-08-27T19:48:54Z")
It was an absolute sitter. The batsman (I can’t remember who) was two yards out of his ground at least. The ball hit the top of Jones’s gloves and he clutched it to his midriff. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/39 "2005-08-28T12:58:25Z")
What just happened? I heard the commentator say “doing a Ponting towards some of the members. I don’t think that’s wise.” ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/40 "2005-08-28T14:15:53Z")
England need 129 to win. Excellent day of Cricket today so far! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539.md?page=3)