# The Ultimate Ashes Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 25, 2005, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539 "2005-08-25T07:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/61 "2005-08-29T22:19:08Z")
Eh, that ended up scary. And did I not say: > [@Malacandra](#): > > Australia four down by the close and still needing 30-odd to make England bat again. One slight cause for concern is the prospect of Australia ending up defending a modest total with Warne bowling on a badly-worn pitch, but we can always hope… Geraint Jones missed another stumping, tho’ I didn’t see it and don’t know how difficult it was. ? Basically the only way I saw Oz nicking it after they’d been bowled out 250-odd behind was the way it (nearly) turned out. There were arguments both ways, but I’d have given serious consideration to batting again while the opposition were seriously demoralised, then setting them about 500 to win with five sessions to bat out. That said, enforcing the follow-on has very seldom been a _losing_ proposition, historically speaking. Might have looked a bit easier had Simon Jones not picked up that injury. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/62 "2005-08-30T03:14:30Z")
> [@Lil' Mahoney](#): > > Wow, if only football would introduce big fines like this for dissent, Rooney’d be practically paying to play! You fucking beauty! What our Wayne screamed as he scored against the hapless Newcastle defence. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/63 "2005-09-06T11:55:25Z")
[England plan their victory parade](http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/4218194.stm) - confidence is a good thing, but I would never write the Aussies of completly. Chances of rain (showers) range between 30% and 60% for all five days. Should be fun!! Grim ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/64 "2005-09-06T12:29:45Z")
[Simon Jones has failed his fitness test](http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/engvaus/content/story/218257.html). No word on which of James Anderson or Paul Collingwood will replace him yet though. Who would Dopers prefer to see? On the one hand, Anderson maintains the balance of the past 4 tests and appears to have returned to form, at least for Lancashire, but Collingwood gives what could be important depth to the batting line-up; after all, Australia have to take all 20 wickets to retain the Ashes. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/65 "2005-09-07T02:21:33Z")
Anderson gives too many easy runs away, while Collingwood is a better bowler than, say, Bell. (Possible a better batsman too.) Also, Collingwood brings a touch of brilliance to the fielding and lifts the team that way. Fletcher and Graveney talk of not playing for a draw, etc., but why not? If the weather’s going to be iffy, anyway, and bowlers unlikely to have to bowl long spells in the heat, then why not go with 3 “quicks”, 1 pie-thrower and the King of Spain? I think both England and Australia have hamstrung themselves a bit by labelling some players as one-day specialists. To my mind, Symonds should have been drafted into the Test squad after his (post-piss up) one-day performances. A similar case might be made for Mike Hussey. ---
**Author:** ![Fredescu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/73ab20/32.png) [@Fredescu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fredescu)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/66 "2005-09-07T02:55:49Z")
Symonds was given a very brief run in tests. He was picked to play in Sri Lanka last year after some great one day performances. After averaging 15 or so in his first couple of tests he was dropped for (IIRC) Katich and he hasn’t been given a chance since. It’s a pity. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/67 "2005-09-07T03:40:38Z")
I’d imagine England are pleased he’s not in the team. Not only does he bat well, his bowling is more than useful, and he’s a very good fielder. He’s also the sort of player who lifts his team-mates. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/68 "2005-09-08T09:14:45Z")
Collingwood is picked ahead of Anderson, meanwhile England win the toss and choose to bat. The pitch is smooth and even, perfect for batting and play will commence in 5 minutes. In other news, I now go into meetings for the next two hours and won’t catch any of what could prove to be the most crucial session of play ☹ Grim ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/69 "2005-09-08T09:50:47Z")
I, for one, refuse absolutely to count one tiny chickenette until it’s all over. And as some wag had it the other day, “it ain’t over till the fat laddie spins”. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/70 "2005-09-08T10:27:30Z")
England 70/0 after the first hour. Doesn’t look a draw is on the cards. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/71 "2005-09-08T10:30:24Z")
I think it’s all over. England 3-1. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/72 "2005-09-08T11:10:09Z")
102/2 just before lunch - looks like England may have wasted a very good start. Could there be a final twist to this fascinating story??? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/73 "2005-09-08T12:09:44Z")
Too early to be saying “final” - tho’ it’s a shame Bell continues to be useless. Pietersen settling in quickly is some compensation. :: _pokes **don’t ask** in the eye_ :: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/74 "2005-09-08T12:45:27Z")
Ack! Pietersen plays the wrong shot to Warne and it’s four down! ---
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/75 "2005-09-08T13:25:22Z")
I think we must refrain from naming the English batsmen 😜 Hope the big guy settles down. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2005, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/76 "2005-09-08T16:54:54Z")
England end the first days play on 319-7. Strauss makes 129. Warne takes 5 wickets. This one could be close. ---
**Author:** ![Fredescu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/73ab20/32.png) [@Fredescu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fredescu)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/77 "2005-09-09T01:27:57Z")
All out for under 350: The aussies are a good chance All out for 350-380: Will be close if Hayden and Martyn remember how to bat again. All out for 380+: Goodbye ashes. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/78 "2005-09-09T09:57:50Z")
There’s precision for you. It reminds me of Wilfred Rhodes and George Hirst inspecting the pitch at Headingley and saying: WILF: Reckon it’ll turn by two on’t third day, George. GEORGE: Nay, Wilf, 'alf-past two. 😃 Lots of imponderables, the weather not the least. There’ll be a few million cricket fans sleeping poorly for the next few days, any way up. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/79 "2005-09-09T10:33:31Z")
352 for 9 - I suppose it would be against the spirit of the series to feel comfortable at any stage. Given that Collingwood was brought in because he could bat, and got 7, the pressure’s going to be on the 4 main bowlers this afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2005, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539/80 "2005-09-09T11:19:53Z")
England all out for 373. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-ashes-thread/318539.md?page=5)