# The ultimate, bad first date. Can it get any worse? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2024, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497 "2024-06-29T17:23:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2024, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/1 "2024-06-29T17:23:36Z")
Imagine showing up for a first date and they call 911. This could have gone really bad. Domestic violence charges carry heavy penalties. Fortunately the man had the dating App messages and Texts to prove he just met her online 2 weeks earlier > **[Woman with 'cold feet' makes false 911 call to avoid date: Cops](https://lawandcrime.com/crime/man-detained-by-cops-after-would-be-date-with-cold-feet-makes-false-911-call-cops/)** > > A man who showed up at the home of a woman he met on a dating app was detained by cops after she got "cold feet" and called 911, making false accusations to get out of going out with him, police said. > [@](#): > > Thomas called the police, saying her abusive ex-boyfriend was outside her home, according to a [complaint and affidavit](https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/24780498/thomas-police-report.pdf) obtained by Law&Crime. He was sending her threatening texts, saying he was going to “hit, punch, kick, and stab her,” the document alleged she said in the 911 call. > > She also said she had known the man for two years, he wouldn’t leave her alone, and she was pregnant with his baby, court documents said ---
**Author:** ![Disinfectus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/disinfectus/32/11085_2.png) [@Disinfectus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disinfectus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2024, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/2 "2024-06-29T17:36:40Z")
That’s pretty bad, but it could have been worse. She could have gone on the date and then called the police afterwards saying the same stuff. Obviously not the pregnant part, but certainly the hitting, punching and kicking part. That wouldn’t have been as easy for him to defend by showing a few texts. He should consider himself lucky. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2024, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/3 "2024-06-29T18:27:42Z")
I’m thankful my dating days are decades behind me. It’s a minefield out there now.The majority of people wouldn’t do something this extreme. But even showing an interest in approaching someone has to be done carefully. The best of intentions can be misunderstood. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2024, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/4 "2024-06-29T18:35:33Z")
Unfortunately nothing much will happen to this person. I don’t know what would be appropriate in her case but it should be something that will deter others from this kind of abuse of the police and the public. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/5 "2024-06-30T01:39:04Z")
I can only recall one bad date. This was in the days of the personal ads in newspapers. She was about my age and when we talked she mentioned all her friends said she had big eyes. Sounds good, Betty Davis maybe? Yeah, she had big eyes. Like a frog! I could not look her in the face. I’m surprised her friends mentioned them. Not really a bad date I guess just not what I expected. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/6 "2024-06-30T01:41:42Z")
You are terrible😳 ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/7 "2024-06-30T04:42:11Z")
Times 3 ? ---
**Author:** ![Moonrise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonrise/32/14764_2.png) [@Moonrise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonrise)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/8 "2024-06-30T09:37:15Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > The majority of people wouldn’t do something this extreme. For sure. However, experience has convinced me that a lot of people use dating apps solely as a cheap way to feed their vanity, raking in as many admirers as they can while having no intention whatsoever to actually start a relationship. So, they need to come up with excuses to justify their cowardice and selfishness. “I’m sick !” (you felt “great” yesterday and will feel “miraculously better” tomorrow) “I have too much work !” (but you signed up to a dating app knowing this) “I have no free time !” (you’ve told me that you spent the whole weekend partying) “I thought you said next week !” (my text just above says otherwise) “I’m facing a sudden child custody challenge from my ex-husband !” (after 10 years) The news item linked above is only an extreme example of that exact behaviour. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/9 "2024-06-30T12:20:37Z")
> [@Moonrise](#): > > However, experience has convinced me that a lot of people use dating apps solely as a cheap way to feed their vanity, raking in as many admirers as they can while having no intention whatsoever to actually start a relationship. luckily I am out of this game for a long time, but i do read a lot about this effect (mostly women, as men hugely outnumber women on dating apps) … which also leads to very little committment, as a “better” option for the woman might just be around the corner (when getting 10-20 “friend requests” per day). interesting aspect how a (mathematical) excess of options also leads to paralysis … a fact that every good salesperson also knows 😉 but yeah… not an easy turf to live on, nowadays … ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/10 "2024-06-30T12:29:39Z")
I’ve been married 40 years and I have long thought that if anything happened to my husband, I would not date again. Stories like this convince me I’m right about that. Not that there’s a huge demand for 70+ y/o grandmothers out there in the dating world. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/11 "2024-06-30T13:07:04Z")
A post was merged into an existing topic: [Possibly getting Divorced: Need advice](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-getting-divorced-need-advice/1003483/43) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/12 "2024-06-30T13:02:00Z")
Was this intended for a [different thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/possibly-getting-divorced-need-advice/1003483)? ---
**Author:** ![vbob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vbob/32/4439_2.png) [@vbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vbob)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/13 "2024-06-30T13:05:20Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Not that there’s a huge demand for 70+ y/o grandmothers out there in the dating world. Don’t be so sure - the ones that are clever AND nice are so very rarely single, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/14 "2024-06-30T16:07:22Z")
I remember something similar happened like 10 years ago but with a twist. Two people meet on a dating website and agree to go on a date. Date goes well enough that they both go back to one of the persons house to have sex. After sex the spouse of one of the two shows up, and freaks out (obviously) and thekr partner claims the other people is in fact a burglar so cops are called and the person is arrested. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/15 "2024-06-30T16:12:41Z")
Or they threaten to call the cops, so the [mark empties his wallet](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger_gameI%E2%80%99m) ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/16 "2024-06-30T16:16:55Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > Yeah, she had big eyes. Like a frog! I could not look her in the face. I’m surprised her friends mentioned them. Perhaps it was not so much “mentioning” as “warning”. 🤷‍♂️ ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2024, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/17 "2024-06-30T22:54:33Z")
So not so much Bette Davis eyes, more like Marty Feldman eyes? ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2024, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/18 "2024-07-01T16:11:44Z")
Not a promising start for a relationship. 😘 He fell in love with her driving skills first. > **[A man robbed a bank on his first date with a woman he met on a dating app –...](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dating-app-bank-robbery-massachusetts-christopher-castillo-robbed-bank-first-date-woman-drive-getaway-car/)** > > The man got in the woman's car, sipped wine in the front seat and then got out to rob a bank. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2024, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/19 "2024-11-13T04:21:57Z")
Bumped. In the late Nineties when I was a prosecutor, I had a case in which a man badly beat up a woman on their first date once they got back to her apartment. She suffered a concussion and had to be hospitalized. She couldn’t remember what set him off, if anything; he wasn’t saying. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2024, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497/20 "2024-11-13T12:25:42Z")
It was me. Lousy weather that can’t be helped, my soft top jeep didn’t help the ride. It was kinda a dressy occasion. The work Christmas party. This was a friend of a friend. Wrote for the local paper so I had seen her name in print. Ya know some Italian names can be a little hard for me to pronounce. It was her last name, and I had never heard anyone say it. I said that’s an interesting name, I tried to pronounce it and totally botched it. I mean bad. The way I said it sounded like a cat horking up a hair ball. She pronounced it properly. It’s beautiful. Then, when introducing her to one of my co-workers, I forgot her first name. Total brain freeze. When we sat down to dinner with ~250 other people. We ended up at an 8 person table. By ourselves. All the other tables where full, and it was just the two of us left to be seated. I pretty much borked the entire night. Was a long dive home in distance, snow, cold and silence. I really liked you Stacy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-bad-first-date-can-it-get-any-worse/1003497.md?page=2)