# The Ultimate Badass of All Media -- ROUND TWO **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [October 17, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122 "2009-10-17T04:14:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/1 "2009-10-17T04:14:45Z")
[Round One](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=535829) is over and the results were BRUTAL. Darth Vader was knocked out, as was Indiana Jones and Hannibal Lecter. The victors advance to round two. The goal is to determine the ultimate badass of all media. The rules are the same: vote for the bigger badass in each match up. I’ll tally the results on Monday night. Explaining your decision is always entertaining, but never mandatory. Batman vs. Count Dracula Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) vs. The Alien (Alien) Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) vs. Kratos (God of War) The Terminator vs. The Bride (Kill Bill) Gandalf the White vs. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) James Bond vs. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) vs. Conan the Barbarian Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) vs. Chuck Norris ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/2 "2009-10-17T04:34:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Batman > vs. > Count Dracula No way Bats doesn’t have some garlic on him. > [@](#): > > Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) > vs. > The Alien (Alien) The Alien > [@](#): > > Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) > vs. > Kratos (God of War) Fuck if I know. Pass. > [@](#): > > The Terminator > vs. > The Bride (Kill Bill) Oh please. The Terminator in a walk. > [@](#): > > Gandalf the White > vs. > Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) Tough. Tough tough tough. I’m taking Harry. > [@](#): > > James Bond > vs. > Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) Bond. > [@](#): > > Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) > vs. > Conan the Barbarian Prepare to hear the lamentations of the women. Conan. > [@](#): > > Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) > vs. > Chuck Norris Norris, easily. He didn’t even have to be a fictional character to make the list. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/3 "2009-10-17T04:44:37Z")
Batman vs. **Count Dracula** **Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)** vs. The Alien (Alien) **Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)** vs. Kratos (God of War) The Terminator vs. **The Bride (Kill Bill)** Gandalf the White vs. **Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)** **James Bond** vs. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) **Brock Samson (Venture Brothers)** vs. Conan the Barbarian Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) vs. **Chuck Norris** ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/4 "2009-10-17T05:41:44Z")
Batman vs. Count Dracula Terrible matchup for the Count, who I would have picked against more than half of the remaining contenders. But not against the guy who probably has holy water, a wooden stake, and a friggin battery-powered sun-lamp in his utility belt. Batman FTW. Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) vs. The Alien (Alien) pass Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) vs. Kratos (God of War) pass The Terminator vs. The Bride (Kill Bill) Terminator. Ouch. Gandalf the White vs. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) Gandalf James Bond vs. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) Tempted to go for Bond but I guess I’ll pass. Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) vs. Conan the Barbarian Don’t know who Brock Samson is. Don’t care. Conan. Conan. Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) vs. Chuck Norris Bourne by default. Norris is a punch-line. ---
**Author:** ![mlai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@mlai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlai)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/5 "2009-10-17T05:54:46Z")
Brock Samson was the first person I thought of upon seeing the title of the thread. Conan never crushed a man’s arm using only his sphincter. I vote **Brock Samson** , and pass on the rest. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/6 "2009-10-17T09:49:18Z")
Note: \*\*bold \*\*wins. **Batman** vs. Count Dracula **Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell)** vs. The Alien (Alien) **Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)** vs. Kratos (God of War) **The Terminator** vs. The Bride (Kill Bill) **Gandalf the White** vs. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) James Bond vs. **Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)** Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) vs. **Conan the Barbarian** Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) vs. **Chuck Norris** ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/7 "2009-10-17T11:39:10Z")
I’m not familiar with a lot of the people on the list, but between Solid Snake, and James Bond, Snake is SO much more of a badass it’s ridiculous that they would even be compared at all. They’re completely different kinds of characters. I don’t know if “Naked Snake” from Metal Gear Solid 3 is being included in this, though, but let’s say for the sake of argument that he is. (He was the protagonist of one of the games, probably the most intense one of all, and is virtually identical to Solid Snake in every way.) Snake is a field soldier. His job is to directly infiltrate the enemy in his own territory, in environments that are entirely hostile (not the casinos, flashy cities and exotic locales that Bond operates in.) Everywhere that Snake goes, he is a target from every direction. Snake is expected to rough it **one hundred percent** of the time. There are no fancy hotel rooms for him, no luxury cars for him, no restaurants for him, no high-class women for him. Snake is all alone out there slogging through the mud and snow (literally catching colds and other illnesses which affect you in the game.) He has to contend with the elements, including wild animals and horrid weather, with no shelter but the clothes on his back. Snake has to hunt animals for his food, or scavenge for enemy rations. He has no medical facilities available to him; he has to stitch himself up in the field. If he gets shot, he has to pull the bullet out of his body with a knife and bandage the wound. If he gets his arm dislocated, he has to bite down on a stick and re-set the bone himself. If he is burned, infected, suffering from blood loss, etc, he has to find medicinal plants in the jungle that he can use, or steal medical supplies from the enemy if there even are any. James Bond has his trusty superiors at MI6 who always guide him in the right direction, always supply him with the best stuff, and are always there for him in the end. Snake has to rely on faulty information from untrustworthy commanders (in one instance, the “commander” isn’t even a real man, but a computer simulation with the express purpose of misdirecting and confusing him.) His associates are constantly double-crossing and triple-crossing each other; it’s never clear whether the “patriots” are really in charge, or the “philosophers,” or whoever the hell Ocelot happens to be working for; Snake is a pawn being manipulated by a bunch of shady and conspiratorial elements. James Bond is smarter. James Bond is smoother. He’s more articulate, more charming; he’s a suave secret agent. Snake is socially awkward, a loner, often inarticulate and confused; he stumbles over his words sometimes, is hesitant when talking to people, and sometimes fails to grasp the “big picture.” But you put Snake into the _field_ and he WILL get shit done. No matter how tough the conditions are, he will keep fighting, and fighting, and fighting, and fighting. He is a true badass in every sense of the word. James Bond is a pansy-ass in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/8 "2009-10-17T12:27:46Z")
1. Batman. I truly believe he would win. Because he’d be _prepared_. 2. Motoko Kusanagi. 3. Sephiroth. He’s insanely powerful and, on top of that, he’s insane. 4. The Bride. 5. Gandalf the White 6. James Bond 7. Brock Samson 8. Jason Bourne ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/9 "2009-10-17T14:38:18Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I’m not familiar with a lot of the people on the list, but between Solid Snake, and James Bond, Snake is SO much more of a badass it’s ridiculous that they would even be compared at all. So … do you want this to be counted as a vote for Solid Snake with a pass on the rest? ---
**Author:** ![critter42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@critter42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/critter42)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/10 "2009-10-17T15:50:51Z")
> [@](#): > > Batman > vs. > Count Dracula Well, since this one has already been [fought](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Batman_vs._Dracula) at least [twice](http://www.dccomics.com/dcu/graphic_novels/?gn=1212) I’m going to pick Bats > [@](#): > > Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) > vs. > The Alien (Alien) The Alien > [@](#): > > Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) > vs. > Kratos (God of War) phew…I’m going with Sephiroth since it took me forever to beat the @#$@# in Kingdom Hearts 2 🙂 > [@](#): > > The Terminator > vs. > The Bride (Kill Bill) The Terminator > [@](#): > > Gandalf the White > vs. > Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) On the one hand, I would say DH because he’d whip out his .44 and squeeze off a few rounds before Gandalf could get a spell worked up. On the other hand, Gandalf is a _maiar_…hmmm… I’m going to have to pick DH just on sheer red assed-ness; Gandalf is a little too kind-hearted to be a “badass” IMHO. > [@](#): > > James Bond > vs. > Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) Bond. James Bond. > [@](#): > > Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) > vs. > Conan the Barbarian Two words: The [sword](http://twitpic.com/f92jm)! Conan is my choice > [@](#): > > Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) > vs. > Chuck Norris Chuck Norris would beat Jason until his memory came BACK ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/11 "2009-10-17T16:57:08Z")
Winners bolded **Batman** vs. Count Dracula _Bruce will figure out Drac’s weaknesses._ **Motoko Kusanagi** (Ghost in the Shell) vs. The Alien (Alien) _Tough call. But I think a cyborg will beat a xenomorph._ Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) vs. Kratos (God of War) _pass_ **The Terminator** vs. The Bride (Kill Bill) _Never bring a katana to a minigun fight._ **Gandalf the White** vs. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) _Magic wins._ James Bond vs. **Solid Snake** (Metal Gear Solid) _Unless they’re playing cards._ **Brock Samson** (Venture Brothers) vs. Conan the Barbarian _Tough call. I think they’re equally strong but Brock is much faster._ **Jason Bourne** (The Bourne Identity) vs. Chuck Norris _Bourne has superpowers, Norris is an internet meme. (Though he was an awesome martial artist in his prime.)_ ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/12 "2009-10-17T19:18:15Z")
Batman The Alien (Alien) Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) The Bride (Kill Bill) Gandalf the White Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) Conan the Barbarian Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Credible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a8b319/32.png) [@Justin\_Credible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Credible)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/13 "2009-10-17T19:38:07Z")
> [@mlai](#): > > Brock Samson was the first person I thought of upon seeing the title of the thread. Conan never crushed a man’s arm using only his sphincter. I vote **Brock Samson** , and pass on the rest. Indeed. FTR, I’m pulling for Brock to win the competition, or if not him, Dirty Harry. Looks like Brock is down one vote to Conan right now, so I hope he gets some more. ---
**Author:** ![Donovan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@Donovan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donovan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/14 "2009-10-17T20:50:45Z")
**Batman** **Motoko Kusanagi** **Sephiroth** **The Terminator** **Gandalf the White** **Solid Snake** **Brock Samson** **Jason Bourne** ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/15 "2009-10-18T00:39:46Z")
**Batman** vs. Count Dracula Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) vs. The Alien (Alien) _(Don’t know)_ Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) vs. Kratos (God of War) _(Don’t know)_ **The Terminator** The Bride (Kill Bill) Gandalf the White vs. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) _(Don’t know)_ James Bond vs. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) _(Don’t know)_ **Brock Samson** (Venture Brothers) vs. Conan the Barbarian **Jason Bourne** (The Bourne Identity) vs. Chuck Norris ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/16 "2009-10-18T00:43:10Z")
Batman The Alien (Alien) Kratos (God of War) The Terminator Gandalf the White James Bond Conan the Barbarian Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) Joe ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/17 "2009-10-18T03:02:15Z")
**Batman vs. Count Dracula** Batman. If you’ve read _Red Rain_, you know why. **Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) vs. The Alien (Alien)** Pass. Not a huge fan of either. **Sephiroth (Final Fantasy) vs. Kratos (God of War)** Pass. **The Terminator vs. The Bride (Kill Bill)** Tough call. I’ll take The Bride. Human ingenuity carries the day. **Gandalf the White vs. Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)** Gandalf. For the love of God, Gandalf. **James Bond vs. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)** I’ll be a nimrod and take Bond. He always finds a way to win. **Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) vs. Conan the Barbarian** Brock is one of the greatest characters of the 21st century. He’s a one-man army who can take down an F-14 with a hang glider. He’d spank that antediluvian butthead. **Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) vs. Chuck Norris** I’ll take Bourne. More all-around skills ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/18 "2009-10-18T03:05:59Z")
**Batman** vs. Count Dracula Drac gets waxed every time he runs into anyone prepared for him… Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) vs. **The Alien (Alien)** Still don’t know GitS **Sephiroth (Final Fantasy)** vs. Kratos (God of War) Videogame showdown! Kratos once cared about something, Sephiroth lives only for destruction. **The Terminator** vs. The Bride (Kill Bill) If Michael Madsen could take down the bride with a shotgun… Gandalf the White vs. **Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry)** No contest in badassitude. **James Bond** vs. Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid) Snake ran into a really bad matchup here, I could see picking him over a lot of folks still alive. Bond is still the byword of badassery in secret agents. Brock Samson (Venture Brothers) vs. \*\*Conan the Barbarian \*\* Conan was never voiced by Puddy. Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) vs. **Chuck Norris** Again, no contest here. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/19 "2009-10-18T05:35:33Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > So … do you want this to be counted as a vote for Solid Snake with a pass on the rest? Yeah. (And I still don’t get how people could think that a pampered international playboy who lives a life of luxury, stays at the best hotels, eats the best food, and is led around by his cock, could be more of a badass than a field soldier who does nothing but go on one-man suicide missions in hostile territory.) ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122/20 "2009-10-18T12:46:43Z")
Batman The Alien (Alien) Kratos (God of War) The Terminator Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry) James Bond Conan the Barbarian Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-badass-of-all-media-round-two/514122.md?page=2)