# The Ultimate MST3K Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 2, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555 "2005-06-02T15:40:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/221 "2005-06-21T13:43:26Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Criminy, I hope he wasn’t responsible for the Spanking scene… or the character name ‘Briteis’… Just checked IMDB because I thought maybe I was mixing this one up with _Destination: Moon_ (did that piece of crap ever get the MST treatment?), but Heinlein is credited as cowriting both [the story and the screenplay](http://imdb.com/title/tt0046213/fullcredits). ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/222 "2005-06-21T13:45:09Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Criminy, I hope he wasn’t responsible for the Spanking scene… or the character name ‘Briteis’… How much Heinlein have you read? Both of those are vintage RAH hallmarks… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/223 "2005-06-21T14:53:55Z")
I just got the a/c in my car fixed and the wonderful cold air (it’s in the 90’s here now) reminded me a brief exchange between TV’s Frank & Dr. Forester. It’s winter and Dr. F has just come into Deep 13: **Frank:** How cold is it out there? **Dr. F:** Brass monkey, Frank, brass monkey. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/224 "2005-06-21T15:55:43Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > How much Heinlein have you read? Both of those are vintage RAH hallmarks… Not nearly enough, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/225 "2005-06-21T16:09:04Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Not nearly enough, apparently. Heinlein’s female characters are pretty much all “the perfect woman”…if you’re a 1940s-era Objectivist male with SMBD tendencies. They may have four doctorates and be able to fix a Univac with one hand tied behind their backs, but they all melt into little puddles of estrogen when a man looks at them, and they all have a mild sadomasochistic streak that makes the numerous spanking discipline scenes quite erotic…again, if you’re a 1940s-era Objectivist male with SMDB tendencies. I’m not calling RAH a hack. I’m a pretty major Heinlein fan. But even rabid fanboys have to admit that the man wrote women with some major glaring inconsistencies. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/226 "2005-06-21T16:14:37Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Heinlein’s female characters are pretty much all “the perfect woman”…if you’re a 1940s-era Objectivist male with SMBD tendencies. After this sentence, I spent more time than I should’ve trying to imagine a 1940s-era objectivist female doper. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/227 "2005-06-21T16:15:53Z")
I’m a 2040’s era Somnambulist male with SDMB tendencies, where does that leave me? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/228 "2005-06-21T23:22:27Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > They may have four doctorates and be able to fix a Univac with one hand tied behind their backs, but they all melt into little puddles of estrogen when a man looks at them, and they all have a mild sadomasochistic streak that makes the numerous spanking discipline scenes quite erotic… You BASTARD! Thanks for reminding me of growing up with _my_ mom. …grumble, grumble… ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/229 "2005-06-22T05:08:00Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > OK, that’s it, I have _got_ to get into this. Of the DVD’s available on Amazon, which one is a good one to start with? I reccomend starting with Mitchell or Overdrawn At The Memory Bank. Avoid Manos:The Hands of Fate until after your indoctrination. The guys are funny, but the movie itself is so simultaneously boring and weird, that even the riffing doesn’t save it. Also, don’t start with Hamlet. It’s a black and white German version that’s so lifeless and dead that no amount of humor can sustain a watcher for long. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/230 "2005-06-22T15:04:06Z")
I always use Space Mutiny when beginning an indoctrination program. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/231 "2005-06-22T15:10:52Z")
> [@jsc1953](#): > > I always use Space Mutiny when beginning an indoctrination program. And you have to love the Battlestar Galactica (old-school BG!) stock footage for the space battles… ---
**Author:** ![want2know](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@want2know](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2know)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/232 "2005-06-22T23:55:17Z")
> [@jsc1953](#): > > I always use Space Mutiny when beginning an indoctrination program. I have to recommend **The Amazing Colossal Man** and **War of the Colossal Beast**. Bert I Gordon films are lotsa fun to begin with; add their riffing _and_ **Mr. B Natural** and I think any MST newbie will be hooked! Then hit 'em with **The Magic Sword** and the indoctrination is complete! ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/233 "2005-06-23T12:10:44Z")
I find \*\*The Final Sacrifice \*\* makes a good intro. Should be able to watch another episode tonight, I think… ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/234 "2005-06-24T13:07:08Z")
Wow. We meet Valeria this episode… or Vawewia, I suppose, the woman with the thickest generic accent ever. We start with the final installment of Commando Cody - which film-breaks a few minutes in, bizarrely. Joel heads back to adjust the projector, and we see that he apparently wears glasses in the theater. Then our main feature begins, In Color. This is the earliest example I recall of them staying through the credits, but then again, a lot of the others they’ve done are older movies that don’t have long end credits. There’s also a contest to name the “Avocado Guy”, which, through some miracle of temporal mechanics that is beyond me, is resolved in one of the earlier episodes I’ve reviewed thus far. I forget which, at the time, I thought it was a contest based on the KTMA incarnation. Signature Riff : \ : “We have no history. We have always been here.” \ : “So you _have_ a history.” ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/235 "2005-06-24T14:58:00Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Joel heads back to adjust the projector, and we see that he apparently wears glasses in the theater. OT but related, I remember how surprised I was when I realized Mike Nelson wore a headset in his theater segments. Was a lavalier not considered adequate? Or was Mike getting direction in his headphones, or listening to some kind of “click track”? Did the bot actors also wear headsets? ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2005, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/236 "2005-06-24T15:30:06Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > OT but related, I remember how surprised I was when I realized Mike Nelson wore a headset in his theater segments. Was a lavalier not considered adequate? Or was Mike getting direction in his headphones, or listening to some kind of “click track”? Did the bot actors also wear headsets? I vaguely recall seeing a few behind the scenes shots with puppeteers wearing headsets… don’t know what came through them. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/237 "2005-06-27T12:40:02Z")
In case you missed the title, the theme music will remind you again and again. This movie, recast, with better effects, and a different composer, could be made as a taut hard SF drama. Which is completely at odds with the wacky Pink-Panther-esque cartoon credits sequence and overbearing jazz score. On the upside, Joel appears to be bitten by the funk bug, and dances in the theater through a large portion of the credits. It’s strange to see him so animated. (_ba-DUM-bum_) Then, there’s Moonopoly. A board game the “bad guys” play in the film. Really. Of course, it inspires Joel to reveal in the next Host Segment that Crow and Servo incorporate Rock’em Sock’em technology. Signature Riff: \ “They’re so rich they got movies and they don’t even watch 'em.” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/238 "2005-06-27T18:39:03Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > In case you missed the title, the theme music will remind you again and again. This movie, recast, with better effects, and a different composer, could be made as a taut hard SF drama. Don’t give them any ideas. They’re already remaking “Parts: The Clonus Horror”. “The Island” is coming out this summer, and looks idiotic. “James Arness: Ugly and stupid. Next time, on Biography.” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/239 "2005-06-27T20:15:56Z")
> [@Alias](#): > > **Tormented** …The trampy girl somehow falls off of a lighthouse, and her ghost haunts the man and his new bride. Just had to note that my all-time favorite _MST3K_ line comes from this one. When the blind woman is atop the lighthouse: \: _“Hey! I can’t see my house from here!”_ :: Contemplates going back to his “As elusive as Robert Denby” sig line :: ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/240 "2005-06-29T13:32:16Z")
Yowza. Mamie Van Doren. This is a teensploitation film about seedy teenagers and seedier adults. Y’know, Shaft was originally going to be a teensploitation film rather than blaxploitation, but the test audiences kept giggling whenever the main character’s name was said. Shaft. _tee-hee!_ Guest-stars a skinny gal that Joel and the Bots mistake for Greg Brady, prompting a nice tribute; and a hispanic lass who’s fond of the interjection of surprise : “Chihuahua!” Of course, that’s probably only the second most racist thing in the movie, since there’s the reference to “wetbacks” later on. Everyone in the theater gets up and dances in the show-stopping Calpyso number that occurs at the end of the film. Outside the theater, we get a peek inside Gypsy’s brain - Richard Basehart and RAM chips. Signature Riff: \ “Hey, It’s Lenny and Squiggy school!” One more to go for Season One. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555.md?page=13)