# The Ultimate MST3K Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 2, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555 "2005-06-02T15:40:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/141 "2005-06-08T15:07:29Z")
I need to start getting some more episodes and replacing my tapes with DVDs. Unfortunately, some of my current ones are in really crappy condition and going downhill fast. It’s like watching a beloved pet become decrepit with age. ---
**Author:** ![Cranky\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cranky\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cranky_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/142 "2005-06-08T19:40:46Z")
Well, thanks to all of you and this post I had to order 3 MST3K collection DVD’s. I had almost forgotten how much I LOVED watching MST3K on Comedy Central. Again, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/143 "2005-06-08T20:07:25Z")
And it has arrived. MST3K: The Essentials containing both **Santa Claus Conquers the Martians** and **Manos: The Hands of Fate**. I’m going to grab dinner and relax for a few before taking on Manos. I’ll be back in a couple hours. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/144 "2005-06-08T20:13:44Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > And it has arrived. MST3K: The Essentials containing both **Santa Claus Conquers the Martians** and **Manos: The Hands of Fate**. I’m going to grab dinner and relax for a few before taking on Manos. I’ll be back in a couple hours. > Maybe. Does the version you got include the extra disc of shorts? ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/145 "2005-06-08T20:49:39Z")
Still the best television series ever. Every single experiment has at least one bit that has me crying laughing – last Monday I was watching “The Creeping Terror” and just lost it when the bored housewife is getting eaten (excuse me, climbing into the monster’s mouth), gets a weird grimace on her face, and Crow starts doing a Pee-Wee Herman voice. My first experiment: **Robot Holocaust** on The Comedy Channel Joke that got me hooked: from **Robot Holocaust** , as one of the Amazon women walks on-screen wearing a head-band and leg warmers: “Are you Wendy or Lisa?” Favorite experiment: **Godzilla vs. Megalon** Runners-Up: **Catalina Caper** , **Werewolf** , **Mitchell** , **Fire Maidens from Outer Space** , **Cave Dwellers** , **Pod People** , **Master Ninja** Favorite short: **The Home Economics Story** Favorite song: The Jet Jaguar Fight Song Runner-Up: Master Ninja Theme Song Most obscure joke I got without assistance: when Joel is describing everything the Lever That Does Everything can do (from _Fire Maidens from Outer Space_), he says, “It can control the TENperature… it can turn you into a nine-year-old Hindu boy…” And mad props to Mary Jo Pehl, because she rocks. I preferred Mrs. Forrester when Dr. Forrester was still on the show and they had her dressed exactly the same, even down to the mustache, but I can see why she’d want to drop that. And **jsc1953** has already mentioned most of my favorite lines, but here goes: “_Earth Versus_ by Walt Whitman” “Hey, didn’t he used to be in Def Leppard?” (_to a woman hanging parachute fabric on the wall_): “Whatcha doing?” “Workin’ for Christo.” “Kay got a real thrill when she dropped her application in the mailbox.” “Blasphemy!” “Spanking time!” “Say, Ator, I think your cape is FABULOUS!” (_Crow’s Trumpy voice_): “Hmmm… potatoes. Little furry potatoes.” “Jupiter! America’s Dairyland!” (_from Master Ninja II_): “They varnished mah house!” “What you are saying is absolutely incradabul.” “You don’t have to die being sucked in a black hole.” “But it helps!” “If you’re like me (and I know I am)…” “Everybody knows smoking kills, but it’s cool! What’re you gonna do? Everybody loves tar, sure, who doesn’t? But doctors have known for well over a year that it’s bad for you. So the next time you want to smoke, _ **DO WHAT I DO** _.” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/146 "2005-06-08T21:12:46Z")
If Rhino is including shorts in the DVDs, I hope to gawd they’re clean. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/147 "2005-06-08T21:58:37Z")
> [@cbawlmer](#): > > Does the version you got include the extra disc of shorts? :eek: Sheesh. I got my daughter the Partridge Family First Season DVD for her birthday, and it came with a free T-shirt, but this is just _weird_. I mean, how do you even know if they’re going to fit? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/148 "2005-06-08T22:08:58Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I mean, how do you even know if they’re going to fit? Well, obviously, they’re not supposed to fit. They’re just the surplus from Servo’s collection. They had to get rid of 'em _somehow_! ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/149 "2005-06-08T22:17:50Z")
Oh my God. I- I never dreamed on such badness. That made **It Lives By Night** look like **The Lion in Winter**. The only redeeming quality of the movie itself was the nightgown wrestling scene and the master’s robe. Kinda snazzy. I believe there is a circle of Hell in which Torgo’s theme plays on an endless loop. Wow. Just… wow. > [@cbawlmer](#): > > Does the version you got include the extra disc of shorts? Unless they are included on the **Santa Claus Conquers the Martians** disc, which I have yet to watch, no. I think I’ll watch that later tonight to help cleanse my mind of Manos. In conclusion: “Manos” The Hands of Fate. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/150 "2005-06-08T22:42:37Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > I believe there is a circle of Hell in which Torgo’s theme plays on an endless loop. I once installed a screen saver at work that had an animated Torgo shuffling around the screen while the Torgo theme played. I forgot and went home one night with my speakers turned on rather loud. Late that night, a brand new supervisor had the job of locking up. My office was at the end of a long, dark hallway. I got yelled at the next day for freaking her out. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/151 "2005-06-08T22:49:33Z")
Ok, this thread caused me to ALSO break down and buy _The Essentials_. I’ve seen _Manos_, but never _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_. Yay, it will be Christmas in July! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/152 "2005-06-09T00:44:09Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > Oh my God. > > I- I never dreamed on such badness. That made **It Lives By Night** look like **The Lion in Winter**. The only redeeming quality of the movie itself was the nightgown wrestling scene and the master’s robe. Kinda snazzy. I believe there is a circle of Hell in which Torgo’s theme plays on an endless loop. Wow. Just… wow. You forgot the creepiest, most disgusting and utterly retched part: Little Debbie, the five year old daughter, becomes one of the Master’s wives. EEEEEWWWWW. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/153 "2005-06-09T00:45:50Z")
AAAAHHH!!! Could a Mod fix my coding? So, so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/154 "2005-06-09T01:51:07Z")
forgot one: “Joe Don Baker… is… Mittens!” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/155 "2005-06-09T01:55:07Z")
During the opening credits of _Sidehackers_, the picture is very small in the middle of the screen. “Well, this is going to be hard to watch.” “Was this filmed in 3mm?” They also had a series of jokes like this: “This is just like Star Wars, except it’s not very good.” or “This is just like 2001…nails jammed into my eyeballs.” ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/156 "2005-06-09T14:01:52Z")
> [@cbawlmer](#): > > Ok, this thread caused me to ALSO break down and buy _The Essentials_. I’ve seen _Manos_, but never _Santa Claus Conquers the Martians_. Yay, it will be Christmas in July! Those of you planning to buy the Essentials set, use [this link](https://www.esecurecare.com/music/order_info.jsp?id=AMMSTW) so you can get the extra disk of shorts. (Finally going to order mine next week!) “Tarnish isn’t the word for what he’ll do to you! Try ‘corrode’ for size!” ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/157 "2005-06-09T14:07:38Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > Those of you planning to buy the Essentials set, use [this link](https://www.esecurecare.com/music/order_info.jsp?id=AMMSTW) so you can get the extra disk of shorts. (Finally going to order mine next week!) > > “Tarnish isn’t the word for what he’ll do to you! Try ‘corrode’ for size!” Well, damn. I picked mine up at the store, and no shorts disc. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/158 "2005-06-09T14:13:00Z")
The Shorts disk that comes with “The Essentials” is only available if you order through the MST3K web site. ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/159 "2005-06-09T14:26:54Z")
> [@Trion](#): > > The Shorts disk that comes with “The Essentials” is only available if you order through the MST3K web site. Yeah, that’s what I did. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-mst3k-thread/306555/160 "2005-06-09T15:00:01Z")
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