# The Ultimate Pick-Me-Up Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880 "2001-03-21T16:27:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/61 "2001-03-29T02:52:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by poohpah chalupa \* > > **Thank you, TruePisces, for putting so eloquently all of my thoughts about this truly wonderful young lady…** > > Only what’s the truth. But I’m glad to see more people think it. Now if we can just get **FALCON** to realize it too! > > [sub]Are you listening, my friend?[/sub] > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\*TP, you are fast becoming one of my favorite posters here. \*\* > > _blush_ But I’m not **doing** anything! > > _blush_ \*\* Most of the wonderful people in this world think the same. 🙂 Little things like a virtual hug when one is needed just brightens the world. I haven’t been around long but I second the feelings. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/62 "2001-03-29T03:22:04Z")
OMG do I need a hug. Let’s see…I’ve discovered my promotion at work meant about a 75% increase in my work. They’re having me do supervisor functions w/o the supervisor benefits. The ex-boyfriend has decided to start harassing me by phone=I had to change my cell phone number.(Funny thing is-we both agreed it wasn’t exclusive yet he had a hissy fit about my cyberflirting and that’s when I said bye bye) It seems most of the men who are attracted to me are either married or have major issues(like the ex). And to top it all off…April 20-which would have been my nephew Craig’s 7th birthday is fast approaching. Lately I get home-had to move back in w/ the parents a while back due to financial issues-and I just want to veg out. HUG ME!!! ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/63 "2001-03-29T03:29:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > \*\*OMG do I need a hug. > > Let’s see…I’ve discovered my promotion at work meant about a 75% increase in my work. They’re having me do supervisor functions w/o the supervisor benefits. The ex-boyfriend has decided to start harassing me by phone=I had to change my cell phone number.(Funny thing is-we both agreed it wasn’t exclusive yet he had a hissy fit about my cyberflirting and that’s when I said bye bye) It seems most of the men who are attracted to me are either married or have major issues(like the ex). And to top it all off…April 20-which would have been my nephew Craig’s 7th birthday is fast approaching. Lately I get home-had to move back in w/ the parents a while back due to financial issues-and I just want to veg out. > > HUG ME!!! \*\* {{{{{hardygrrl}}}}} ``` Sorry to hear life is beating ya about the head and shoulders. Here's hoping things get better. <every finger and toe crossed> ``` ---
**Author:** ![Ma\_Parrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dec6dc/32.png) [@Ma\_Parrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ma_Parrot)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/64 "2001-03-29T03:49:46Z")
I don’t take hugs from strangers, but a joke will help me get through the night. Got any about the Oscars? ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/65 "2001-03-29T04:18:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ma Parrot \* > \*\*I don’t take hugs from strangers, but a joke will help me get through the night. Got any about the Oscars? \*\* Feel free to introduce yourself, then you can accept a hug from a new friend. Meanwhile, something funny. Well I loved Steve Martin’s instructions to “Please hold all applause until its for me.” And in science news, doctors have learned how to clone a hundred dollar bill and will no longer be needing federal grants. And here’s a real news story I found amusing. WORK EXPERIENCE: Brian O’Dea of Toronto, Ont., Canada, served his time – 10 years, for pot smuggling. Now that he’s out he wants to go straight: he took out a display ad in the “employment wanted” section headlined “Former Marijuana Smuggler” in the Toronto-based National Post looking for legitimate employment. Qualifications? “Owned and operated a successful fishing business – multi-vessel, one airplane, one island processing facility,” the ad reads. “Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the United States. During this time, I also … participated in the executive-level management of 120 people worldwide, in a successful pot smuggling venture with revenues in excess of US$100-million annually.” In an interview with the paper, O’Dea said he hopes “someone will read that ad and realize, jeez, not only did he operate that scheme, but he did it in secret. That shows tremendous coordinating ability.” References? You bet: the ad notes that the U.S. District Attorney will provide one. Hope this helped. If not let me know. I’ll keep trying. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/66 "2001-03-29T11:30:13Z")
{{{hardygrrl}}} I wish there was something I could do to help with any of this. If I was up by you, I’d see if you could sneak me in (with pay, of course) and do that extra 75% of work for you (I wouldn’t mind a new job anyway! 😉 ) And the ex… Want me to take care of him? I’ve been told I have a bit of a vicious side when I want! 😃 As far as the others… well, the only thing I can do is offer you another hug. (Ok, so that’s all I can **really** do for all of them. {{{hardygrrl}}} **Ma Parrot** - I’m not very good in the joke department. I leave that up to those with funnier bones than I. I’m more of the hug/flirt with those who want it/kind word department. Can I hold one in reserve until you don’t consider me a stranger? ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2001, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/67 "2001-03-29T12:56:30Z")
Thanks True Pisces!!! You’e such a sweetheart so I’d feel bad subjecting you to my job. 🙂 And as for the ex…I told him I’d report him to the police if he didn’t quit and that seems to have stopped it. {{{{{True Pisces}}}}} Right back at ya! ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/68 "2001-03-30T02:00:08Z")
I spent two hours in a dark hot room staring into the void of a microscope looking for little dots in cells that that just weren’t there. Accordingly if anyone has perfected the virtual back rub I’d really like to know about it. Meanwhile, some humor! Red Buttons, appearing on Dennis Miller’s Show, announced he was 80 years old, but that 80 is not “old.” Red explained: “Old” is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot. “Old” is when the porn you bring home is “Debby Does Dialysis.” “Old” is when your doctor doesn’t give you x-rays anymore but just holds you up to the light. “Old” is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. “Old” is when your wife says "Let’s go upstairs and make love… You say…“I can’t do both.” – If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/69 "2001-03-30T10:41:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Verrain \* > **I spent two hours in a dark hot room staring into the void of a microscope looking for little dots in cells that that just weren’t there. Accordingly if anyone has perfected the virtual back rub I’d really like to know about it. Meanwhile, some humor!** Well, I haven’t perfected it but here’s a shot at one. _massages shoulders and down the back, feeling for every tight muscle and working them out until they’re gone_ Does that feel better? ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/70 "2001-03-30T13:14:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TruePisces \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Verrain \* > > **I spent two hours in a dark hot room staring into the void of a microscope looking for little dots in cells that that just weren’t there. Accordingly if anyone has perfected the virtual back rub I’d really like to know about it. Meanwhile, some humor!** > > Well, I haven’t perfected it but here’s a shot at one. > > _massages shoulders and down the back, feeling for every tight muscle and working them out until they’re gone_ > > Does that feel better? \*\* The fact the someone tried makes me feel better. 🙂 More humor! Oh and let me know if think this is humor. No point in this being a pick me up thread if you are not laughing. “IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN”… I didn’t look up the original reference. “A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT”… These data are practically meaningless. “WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS”… An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. “THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY”… The other results didn’t make any sense. “TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN”… This is the prettiest graph. “THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT”… I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. “IN MY EXPERIENCE”… Once “IN CASE AFTER CASE”… Twice “IN A SERIES OF CASES”… Thrice “IT IS BELIEVED THAT”… I think. “IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT”… A couple of others think so, too. “CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE”… Wrong. “ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS”… Rumour has it. “A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS”… A wild guess. “A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA”… Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of beer. “IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS”… I don’t understand it “AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES”… They don’t understand it either. “THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOGGS FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS”… Mr. Bloggs did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. “A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY”… A totally useless topic selected by my committee. “IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER 1NVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD”… I quit. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/71 "2001-03-30T13:25:58Z")
_laugh_ Yes, they ARE funny… Great way to continue my Friday morning! (I think I’m even going to cut and paste them into an e-mail and distribute them to some friends at work… they need a Friday morning pick-me-up!) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/72 "2001-03-30T13:31:04Z")
Oh, _I’ve_ got something to pick you up… Well, at least it’ll arch your back! ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/73 "2001-03-30T14:12:51Z")
Things are looking up! The ex finally backed off and is now no doubt disappointing another woman in bed. Go Mr 2.5 Minutes! As for the job…I told my boss if he expects me to do HIS work he needs to give me time to do it or I will happily submit crap in his name. And this morning I had a pleasant surprise in my email…which I will keep to myself :). Let’s just say my theory was confirmed. ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/74 "2001-03-30T14:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*Oh, _I’ve_ got something to pick you up… > > Well, at least it’ll arch your back! \*\* You already **did** that this morning, thankyouverymuch! [sub]Almost late for work, but what a reason![/sub] **hardygrrl** - Way to go!!! I just feel sorry for the poor girl he’s disappointing now… And congrats on standing up to your boss! Sometimes it’s the hardest thing to do, telling them you’re not a machine, but it puts you in the better position in the long run!!! (Can’t say anything about the third one, since you’re keeping a secret, but would another way to go on it be out of line?) {{{hardygrrl}}} ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2001, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/75 "2001-03-31T05:21:28Z")
Well I am heading off the weekend and wanted to give this thread a bump before I went. How is this for an uplifting thought. I go home to celebrate my grandmother’s 83 birthday. She still has reasonable health and a fine spirit God bless her. 🙂 See you all when I get back. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/76 "2001-03-31T13:50:49Z")
-----😃 —////\\ - **Verrain** ::walks on **Verrain** ’s back with all eight legs:: Especially for //// **Chief Scott** \\, because he loves them so: ----:)/ x o x o x ----///\ ----:D/ x o x o x ----///\ ----:p/ x o x o x ----///\\ And another hug for //// **True Pices** \\. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2001, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/77 "2001-03-31T13:54:20Z")
----:eek:/ ----///\\ That’s what I get for being a smarty pants. That was me, not **imthjckaz**. We still haven’t figured out those profile things. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/78 "2001-04-02T02:04:10Z")
Without going into massive detail, I just need a hug and a few kind words. Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/79 "2001-04-02T02:10:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*Without going into massive detail, I just need a hug and a few kind words. Anyone? \*\* {{{{{Falcon}}}}} Will a compliment from a newbie do? 🙂 I’ve enjoyed reading your messages on the board, and look forward to getting to know you a bit. Hope you feel better and that things look up. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2001, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880/80 "2001-04-02T02:43:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Falcon \* > \*\*Without going into massive detail, I just need a hug and a few kind words. Anyone? \*\* Sure, a hug for the Queen of the Dopefests… Falcon, it may look bad now, but Spiffled is coming up. Look to that. And I promise I’ll make True Pisces go down there to visit if she moves to NY. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-ultimate-pick-me-up-thread/58880.md?page=5)