# The Underpants Gnomes are Close **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579 "2006-03-30T18:57:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/1 "2006-03-30T18:57:10Z")
I can feel their presence. They got my neighbor, and he does his wash in the same washer and drier. 4 pairs! 4 pairs of underwear are missing from his laundry pile. I’ve got many pairs of underwear. I’m actually surprised they haven’t struck yet, but I’m pretty quick. I get to the dryer right when it stops, because I figure that’s the best way to catch them in the act. I bet the bold little bastards would come into my room and get my precious drawers, too. Too bad my dresser is right by my head when i sleep. Too bad there’s a patented “Gnom-b-gon” system installed on the bottom drawer. They won’t know what hit them… …yes…they’ll never know… …the Gnomes…they’re close…I can feel it. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/2 "2006-03-30T19:02:13Z")
\*\*Profit!!! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/3 "2006-03-30T19:11:15Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > \*\*Profit!!! \*\* Ahhhhh! Underpants Gnomes! ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/4 "2006-03-30T19:49:23Z")
Socks don’t get them enough gold, these days? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/5 "2006-03-30T19:57:24Z")
Of course not. Socks are frowned upon here, whereas underpants are well… revered. 🙂 My son keeps throwing his laundry in with mine. More than once in a rush, I’ve grabbed my pants from a hanger only to realize that I cannot possibly cram my size 40 waist self into his size 32 waist pants. Damn that slender boy !! Luckily my socks and his socks, not to mention my underpants and his underpants are radically different. Perhaps the Gnomes demand a tithing? Leave one pair for every ten you own, and they won’t ever bother you again. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/6 "2006-03-30T20:17:31Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#): > > … there’s a patented “Gnom-b-gon” system installed on the bottom drawer… So, you’re a Gobgenier Tauren? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/7 "2006-03-30T21:13:39Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > So, you’re a Gobgenier Tauren? _snerk_ - FH, aka Rashiya on Sen’Jin, Tauren hunter/engineer ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/8 "2006-03-30T21:15:36Z")
I, for one… …no, I just can’t do it. Sorry, guys. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/9 "2006-03-30T22:29:38Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > So, you’re a Gobgenier Tauren? I’ve got no clue what that is. Google couldn’t even help me out. I’d be convinced that you’d be talkin gibberish-like if someone else didn’t echo you. …the Underpants Gnomes got to you, didn’t they? ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/10 "2006-03-30T22:58:07Z")
> [@Ice Wolf](#): > > Socks don’t get them enough gold, these days? Like Pokemon, Sock Elves evolve into Underwear Gnomes. Don’t ask what Underwear gnomes envolve into!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/11 "2006-03-30T23:49:44Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > \*\*Profit!!! \*\* What is the second part? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/12 "2006-03-31T00:21:22Z")
> [@ouryL](#): > > Like Pokemon, > Sock Elves evolve into Underwear Gnomes. Don’t ask what Underwear gnomes envolve into!! :eek: You gave the show away when you used a blue-faced smilie. They turn into…_Smurfs_! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/13 "2006-03-31T00:50:08Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > You gave the show away when you used a blue-faced smilie. > > They turn into…_Smurfs_! Not true, the Underpants Gnomes have gone to work for Santa when he expanded his operations. I understand they considers Sizzling Smurf a delicacy. Jim ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/14 "2006-03-31T01:10:25Z")
It’s pretty simple, really. When you overload the washer, your socks and underpants go down the drain. Sometimes, they get stuck, and the machine won’t drain. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/15 "2006-03-31T04:19:15Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > It’s pretty simple, really. When you overload the washer, your socks and underpants go down the drain. Sometimes, they get stuck, and the machine won’t drain. There’s an even easier solution: An army of gnomes comes out when you’re not paying attention and steals your underwear. See how easy? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/16 "2006-03-31T04:19:26Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > It’s pretty simple, really. When you overload the washer, your socks and underpants go down the drain. Sometimes, they get stuck, and the machine won’t drain. There’s an even easier solution: An army of gnomes comes out when you’re not paying attention and steals your underwear. See how easy? I think I want to become one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2006, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/17 "2006-03-31T07:51:53Z")
So, let’s see if I have this straight: these li’l guys (and gals – gotta be equal opportunity in gnomedom, surely) nick off with the socks, the underwear – but not the bras? They’re letting a whole new niche go unexploited, there … ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/18 "2006-04-01T04:03:18Z")
They only take them when they’re at war with the smurfs. They make great slingshots. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/19 "2006-04-01T04:08:30Z")
Who, the Smurfs or the Gnomes? I think bras are neglected because even the Gnomes and Smurfs realize that droopy tits aren’t as fun as perky ones. They’ve got National Geogrphic as well. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2006, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579/20 "2006-04-01T05:27:45Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#): > > They’ve got National Geogrphic as well. They can’t have. National Geographics always accumulate. They never seem to go _anywhere_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-underpants-gnomes-are-close/350579.md?page=2)