# The Unexpected MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 10, 2006, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072 "2006-04-10T14:11:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/301 "2006-04-13T16:38:26Z")
**Bobbio** the red swingline lives in a special place inside my desk. _Nobody_ touches it but me. I hurl the black one that sits on my desk. Large, heavy binders are great for head smacking too. I just had a piece of buttermilk pie. I made it Tuesday. It’s good. It’s what most of the rest of youse would call a custard. Down south it’s buttermilk pie. Pie is good. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/302 "2006-04-13T16:43:04Z")
::tap tap tap:: Is this thing on? Can you all “hear” me? I got no “aw”'s for lack of prom, no “gee that sounds like fun” for next week’s trip. Have you all ganged up to ignore me? I’m going into the garden to eat worms ::poutpoutpout:: ☹ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/303 "2006-04-13T16:43:30Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **Bobbio** the red swingline lives in a special place inside my desk. _Nobody_ touches it but me. I hurl the black one that sits on my desk. Large, heavy binders are great for head smacking too. > > I just had a piece of buttermilk pie. I made it Tuesday. It’s good. It’s what most of the rest of youse would call a custard. Down south it’s buttermilk pie. Pie is good. Ah, but you don’t know is that I snuck into your office and took the red swingline. It _mine, I tell you, mine!_ Bwahahahahahahahaha! Red is my most favorite color! ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/304 "2006-04-13T16:46:26Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > ::tap tap tap:: Is this thing on? > Can you all “hear” me? I got no “aw”'s for lack of prom, no “gee that sounds like fun” for next week’s trip. Have you all ganged up to ignore me? I’m going into the garden to eat worms ::poutpoutpout:: ☹ > > 😃 Are you going to eat the long, slim, slimy worms, or the short, fat fuzzy worms? 😉 I’m sorry you didn’t your promotion and I hope your trip is loads of fun and that you properly spoil the nephew! Am I back in your good graces? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/305 "2006-04-13T16:47:14Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > ::tap tap tap:: Is this thing on? Did you guys hear something? 😃 I’m sorry, but we’ve got _seven freakin’ pages!!!_ And let me tell you, I don’t know anybody who looks back at their prom and thinks “Gee, I’m _really_ glad I went to that!” I recall it as being one of the most annoying nights of my life. I hated my date, my friends behaved moronically, and we went to Six Flags the next day where I was promptly forced onto the log flume and spent the day soaking wet. A smack in the head with a two-by-four might have been preferable. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/306 "2006-04-13T16:54:31Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > But what if you bussed me on a bus? That’s a song by The Replacements. Almost. **Spats** you have been properly chatised for blasphemy by others, but I want it clearly known that I am with those guys. But you are of the generation of my last division officer (when I was in the Navy). I called her a pink-lunged, juice-drinking pu\*\*y, and said she’d never make it as a real sailor (because she worked out daily, didn’t smoke or drink coffee.) My '70 Chevelle had a valence panel, underneath the rear bumper. On that model car, it wqas usually the first body part to rust away to nothing. **Drae** , I read that too, but thought it meant at the wedding, not in the office weeks prior to the wedding. **Taters** I’m not allowed to use the three-hole punch. I broke one last year (but I got it replaced out of my budget for him), but you know how hard it is to live those things down. OH! This is interesting news! Ford is closing the F-150 plant in town here. Those guys thought they were bulletproof after the last roound of restructuring at Ford. **swampy** I have a Phillips thermos coffee maker. Never burns the coffee because it goes straight into a thermos bottle/carafe after being brewed. I hope it never ever breaks, because I can’t find anything like it anywhere. But we have about 3 Gevalia coffee makers scattered around the house, so we’re never in danger of being without coffee (i’m tearing up just thinking about that!) And it looks like you never have to worry about that mean old Jess in Philadelphia ever again. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/307 "2006-04-13T16:55:50Z")
> [@Sean Factorum](#): > > Now, the etiquette question: should I use my hand or a large inanimate object to smack her upside the head? I recommend you attend **welby** ’s demo. > [@welby](#): > > . . . at 2:00 PM Friday I’m supposed to participate in a demo on how to hit people . . . ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/308 "2006-04-13T17:01:42Z")
> [@Taters](#): > > Are you going to eat the long, slim, slimy worms, or the short, fat fuzzy worms? 😉 I’m thinking the slimey ones have a lower fat content… > [@Draelin](#): > > And let me tell you, I don’t know anybody who looks back at their prom and thinks “Gee, I’m really glad I went to that!” Probably true - but at the time, it was a very big deal. I had no excuse to buy a way-too-expensive dress or uncomfortable shoes. And I’ve never (to this day) gotten a corsage (except for those tacky ones made of bubble gum and jaw breakers we used to give each other for birthdays) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/309 "2006-04-13T17:04:32Z")
**Taters** you might have gotten _a_ red swingline stapler but not **the** red swingline stapler. No one, _No one_, **NO ONE** ever touches **the** red swingline stapler but me. **Sean** what I really want is one of those Krupps thermal coffee makers. They are uber jakely jake! They are also a small fortune. I have no fear of not finding a coffee maker to fit the existing brackets because it’s a generic twelve cup Mr. Coffee coffeemaker. Baby coffeemaker is ok, but I had to make coffee twice in it this morning. **Rosie** awwwwww, gee that sounds like fun! Worms are best right after a rain. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/310 "2006-04-13T17:07:39Z")
> [@Swampbear](#): > > \*\*Rosie \*\* awwwwww, gee that sounds like fun! Worms are best right after a rain. Juicy, too. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/311 "2006-04-13T17:09:20Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > No one, _No one_, **NO ONE** ever touches **the** red swingline stapler but me. **Quietly plans a road trip to Jawja** ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/312 "2006-04-13T17:15:45Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > I’m thinking the slimey ones have a lower fat content… > Probably true - but at the time, it was a very big deal. I had no excuse to buy a way-too-expensive dress or uncomfortable shoes. And I’ve never (to this day) gotten a corsage (except for those tacky ones made of bubble gum and jaw breakers we used to give each other for birthdays) [Your first (cyber) corsage](http://www.usa-flowers.com/cgi-bin/Web_store/web_store.cgi?keywords=w9-3624) It’s from me and Cuervo, so it’s almost the same color as him. Sorta. Well, ok, a peach and an orange are both fruits. This is peach, he’s orange. Close enough. Of course now we’re going steady, so we have some 'splainin to do to the Wife, but she’ll get over it. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/313 "2006-04-13T17:28:57Z")
> [@Rifty](#): > > Glad everyone’s enjoying the puns this week. Not sure yet what next week will be. Maybe greek letters, which, I’m sure, will be all greek to a lot of you. Har! [Already covered that one…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7285600&postcount=56) The honest-to-the-flying-spaghetti-monster translation of my shirt is: _It’s all Greek to me._ ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/314 "2006-04-13T17:31:56Z")
:smack: [I meant this, not the posting…](http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a378/VunderBob/10apr06-229lb.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/315 "2006-04-13T17:36:17Z")
I had a dream last night that I logged on and all the other thread pages had normal numbers, but the MMP had gotten so long that we had to start using letters. we were on page QW. also, WOOHOO! SPRING BREAK! ---
**Author:** ![BelZarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BelZarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BelZarak)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/316 "2006-04-13T17:51:23Z")
Howdy everyone. I’m making my semi-regular run through just to let everyone know I’m still out here lurking. Wow, lots of new or returning folks this week. **Mr. Bus Guy** , glad to see you popping in here. About time. I love reading some of your threads. Welcome **brightpenny** and **skinnysoprano**. I will probably refer to you as **penny** and **skisop** from here on out. I particularly like **skisop**. It shortens the name and makes it more mysterious. **Teleperien**! Good to see you stopping in. I never got your old user name mixed up with anyone else, but I can understand why you changed it. **The Weird One** , good to see you stopping in again. It’s been a while. Cute cat. Not as cute as you, of course, but not bad for a cat. **Swampy** a morning without coffee would be a bad thing. A backup coffee maker is a good idea. Just tell ACBG that ifn you didn’t have the backup, you would have been forced to call and wake him up to bring you fresh coffee. That’ll learn him not to question the need for back up appliances. 😉 > [@anyrose](#): > > I’m going into the garden to eat worms :: poutpoutpout:: ☹ I recommend the red wigglers, they go down quickly. Night crawlers are kind of meaty, but have a bitter aftertaste. Just stay away from the big, slimy pink worms. Seriously, don’t even think about putting one of those things in your mouth. What? I spent a lot of my childhood fishing at my grandfather’s cat fish farm. I learned more than I ever wanted to about worms over those summers. My cousin and I dared each other to eat them. I couldn’t bring myself to eat a pink work even when he double-dog dared me. After seeing the colors he turned before throwing up when he ate one, I’m glad I backed down. -Belz (still icked out at the thought of eating a slime dripping worm) ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/317 "2006-04-13T18:06:24Z")
**welby** , what kind of hitting people are you demonstrating? Is it an open demonstration? I recommend ditching the car and buying a day pass. Most of the things I’ve recommended are downtown, and it’s beyond a pain in the ass driving around. Also, transit will be cheaper than paying for parking. Is your email accessible? I should email you. This is exciting! My first MMPer meeting! **anyrose** , I’m shoving some cinnamon buns through the cd drive for you. Microwave them for twenty second so they get nice and hot. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/318 "2006-04-13T18:31:03Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > ::tap tap tap:: Is this thing on? > Can you all “hear” me? I got no “aw”'s for lack of prom, no “gee that sounds like fun” for next week’s trip. Have you all ganged up to ignore me? I’m going into the garden to eat worms ::poutpoutpout:: ☹ Hey, I wasn’t alllowed to go to my prom. So enjoy your worms. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/319 "2006-04-13T18:31:06Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > **rifty** , give up coffee??? You really are a card! Not give up. Never had. Never will. **rigs** , you’re going to go eat worms without me!? :: pouts :: :: huffs and puffs :: Harumph. Harumph I say! Today was the usual classes. Although, my first class was different in that we had our usual small groups discussion outside instead of inside, on account of the weather being so cooperative. ( **rigs** , did it end up raining for you?) Then it was back inside for two mind-numbing hours of Abstract Algebra. I’m still shaking that one off. **Dorothy** , that was a really silly dream. Everyone knows we’re on page XA. Sheesh. **VunderBob** , I like the shirt. 🙂 And **swampy** , surely the person who made your stapler touched it. Eh? Eh? C’mon, I’ve got you there. On the subject of fire drills, I’ve conversed with my RA on that very topic. They tend to do it when people are in their rooms, because doing it when everyone’s in class is rather pointless. That means doing it in the morning or at night. We haven’t had many, maybe one or two the entire year. Ima go get a late lunch now. :: busses and hits people :: (It’s a love-hate relationship) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/320 "2006-04-13T18:57:22Z")
**NO ONE** but me has ever touched the red swingline stapler. It came to me pristine and untouched by human hands. Whether or not a dog slobbered on it is unknown but not. one. human. besides me has ever touched it. _NO ONE_ **NO ONE** **NO ONE** but me shall ever touch the special stapler. Got that? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072.md?page=17)