# The Unexpected MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [April 10, 2006, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072 "2006-04-10T14:11:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/21 "2006-04-10T16:31:21Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > Oh, and thanks for the nice comments over the weekend in last week’s MMP. You guys are quite kind to BSMF and I. Kind, nothing. That was a kickass hat. 🙂 Although, I have never known what BSMF stands for, and it has resisted all my acronym-figuring attempts. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/22 "2006-04-10T16:33:22Z")
Just want to point out the Google ad at the bottom of the page. To wit: Impeach Bush Car Decal Use Your Car to Send the Message $1 ea, qtys lower- Buy Right Now! [www.LoveAmericaImpeachBush.com](http://www.LoveAmericaImpeachBush.com) 😕😕 Did I miss something? I never had a bachelorette party, not being a girl an all. I never had a bachelor party either, unless you count…never mind. I do have much to say about what happened to my Grandmother’s stuff when she died, and also what happened when my Dad died, but that will have to wait 'til later. Ta. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/23 "2006-04-10T16:34:01Z")
Big Sausage Man Friend. It’s really not as dirty as it sounds. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/24 "2006-04-10T16:43:18Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > Big Sausage Man Friend. > > It’s really not as dirty as it sounds. I never would have come up with that. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/25 "2006-04-10T16:52:50Z")
> [@scout1222](#): > > Big Sausage Man Friend. > > It’s really not as dirty as it sounds. Yeah, it really is. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/26 "2006-04-10T16:54:56Z")
The last couple weeks I was staying at my mom’s new apartment. Just a few days before I left, I was using the facilities and ended up starring at the toilet paper roll while I waited for things to progress. I hadn’t paid any attention to the toilet paper up until that time, except to make sure that there was enough of it. But then I noticed that it was the kind of toilet paper with a little pattern embossed on it. _Then_ I realized that this particular pattern wasn’t of the usual floral variety - it was puppies. Puppies! On the toilet paper! Oh dear God, I was wiping my ass with puppies. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/27 "2006-04-10T17:05:51Z")
**You are surrounded by fortune hunters.** It’s been a while since I’ve given **Swampy** something to _snerk_ about, and as he is feeling poorly… enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/28 "2006-04-10T17:10:55Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > The last couple weeks I was staying at my mom’s new apartment. Just a few days before I left, I was using the facilities and ended up starring at the toilet paper roll while I waited for things to progress. I hadn’t paid any attention to the toilet paper up until that time, except to make sure that there was enough of it. But then I noticed that it was the kind of toilet paper with a little pattern embossed on it. _Then_ I realized that this particular pattern wasn’t of the usual floral variety - it was puppies. Puppies! On the toilet paper! Oh dear God, I was wiping my ass with puppies. Heh…Heh…hehehehe (insert giggling fit). That’s precious. I love animals and all, but that’s just funny. Especially when you’re thinking about it as you’re doing it. I DO believe it may be naptime 'round heah. It’s 1:10 in the PM, with one class left. I think I deserve a nap. I have to recharge my fuel cells so I can find out a way to fund everyone’s retirement from the MMP. Gr. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/29 "2006-04-10T17:12:01Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > **You are surrounded by > fortune hunters.** > It’s been a while since I’ve given **Swampy** something to _snerk_ about, and as he is feeling poorly… enjoy. In the bed? With children? …In the bed with children? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/30 "2006-04-10T17:17:32Z")
> [@Lissla Lissar](#): > > … > > Oh! I just remembered- one of my coworkers, who’s very nice, pretty, naive, and also a cat lady in training, has a recently neutered kitten. He’s recently started humping random objects like shoes. She (being really paranoid and easily freaked out) started to worry about the behaviour. She desired advice. So last week while at the public library she googled > > cat humping. > And was shocked, **shocked** , at the horrible smutty stuff that turned up! She never _imagined_ that anyone would think of all the horrible porn that she managed to turn up on the computer. > > When I heard about it, I laughed till I cried. Many a time I googled something I thought was safe but I don’t think such a thing exists on the internet. You really have to think about how your phrasing things, I would think “cat humping” would be an obvious unsafe phrase though. For future reference maybe she should try “cat behavior problems”. Wiping one’s ass with puppies is just wrong. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/31 "2006-04-10T17:20:44Z")
But their ears are so soft! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/32 "2006-04-10T17:22:08Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#): > > …In the bed with children? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this phrase reminds me … Last night, Roomie and I watched _The Chronicles of Narnia_, and I kept saying how the kid that played Peter is going to be incredibly hot _when he grows up_. So she started giving me crap about that, and this morning I checked and he’ll be _nineteen_ this month. So take that, Roomie. I’m not nearly as sick as you think. **Weird One** , that’s too funny. Wiping your ass with puppies should be a euphemism for _something_. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/33 "2006-04-10T17:29:35Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I’m not nearly as sick as you think. You are too, its just that her imagination can’t handle your reality. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/34 "2006-04-10T17:53:37Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Wiping one’s ass with puppies is just wrong. Considering the number of times mine has pooped on the carpet, I venture it’s poetic justice. ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/35 "2006-04-10T18:04:36Z")
Hi, everyone! This is gonna be a hit and run! Good OP, **drae**. My bachelor party for the marriage to the Klingon was lamer than lame. I shudda known. No BP for marriage to Mr. Anachi. We eloped. We had a tree cut down in the back yard last week. during the inspection when I got home, some dang blasted ferkokta wingless wasp crawled up my leg and managed to sting me on my calf, thigh, and hip. Didn’t hurt all that bad but now I have three very itchy lesions. Mr. Anachi bought a strawberry jar and flahrs to put on the stump. It looks _faaaaabulous_. I am currently halfway through putting spaces where they belong in the mail merge for the 800+ address labels I must print for the press release going out today snail mail. In case anybody’s interested, it’s about a client taking a prize winner up in the vomit comet for a weightlessness ride. Oh, and I DID mean Kennedy Space Center. It’s where you go to get weightless. More later. Tupug ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/36 "2006-04-10T18:08:09Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Last night, Roomie and I watched _The Chronicles of Narnia_, and I kept saying how the kid that played Peter is going to be incredibly hot _when he grows up_. So she started giving me crap about that, and this morning I checked and he’ll be _nineteen_ this month. So take that, Roomie. I’m not nearly as sick as you think. Been there. I was watching _MirrorMask_ when it came out (last year? earlier this year?) and developed an instant crush on the girlt hat played Helen, and since her character was 15, just as quick started hating myself. A couple of days later, I looked up her entry on IMDB, and found that she was at least 20 when she filmed thatt part. I felt so much better. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/37 "2006-04-10T18:22:46Z")
_pokes head in_ I see the MMP is up to its usual standards, both in the OP and in successive posts! 😃 Weekend was phenomenally good. Friday night I went out with \*\*taxi78cab \*\* and **KeithT** , as she says, which was such a welcome relief from a long and busy workweek. Kudos to \*\*taxi \*\* for suggesting it. Although they were really late, and they haven’t seen each other for a long time, which leaves me to wonder… :dubious: 😉 Saturday night I had some guests over and then Sunday I got to meet **Aesiron**! Who is really cute and has nice hair. And today it’s 67 degrees, which makes me happy as heck. > [@taxi78cab](#): > > Weekend was good. Dinner with \*\*Mika \*\*and her SO on Friday which was great. I’m sorry we’re not going to be staying here because \*\*KeithT \*\*and I really enjoy hanging out with Mika and her SO. (Do we have an online nickname for him, Mika?) Nope, we’re not much into cutesy nicknames. And Mika is so female that Mr. Mika sounds awful. And it sounds too much like Maester Mika, which for those of you into Final Fantasy X know is a bad bad man. You’re welcome to call him The Mysterious Stranger (him not being a Doper and all), if you like, but I have a feeling that might be a bit long to type all the time. So…sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/38 "2006-04-10T18:30:18Z")
**monica** the reason I told **VunderBob** to stay away from the beach has two parts: 1.) He works more often than not at the USCG station in Portsmouth. That means most likely tackling the Downtown tunnel during morning and afternoon rush hours - not a fate I’d wish on my enemies, and I like **Bob** ; 2.) with the whole BRAC/Oceana Air Station thing going on, real estate prices are really screwy. They could end up paying a lot for something that is going to have to be condemned by the city in the next couple of years, or pay even more for something outside of the AFZs that might lose it’s value if the airbase closes completely. Besides, I lived in VB for years and never had a good thing to say about it. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/39 "2006-04-10T18:34:04Z")
> [@Sean Factotum](#): > > **monica** the reason I told **VunderBob** to stay away from the beach has two parts: > > 1.) He works more often than not at the USCG station in Portsmouth. That means most likely tackling the Downtown tunnel during morning and afternoon rush hours - not a fate I’d wish on my enemies, and I like **Bob** ; > > 2.) with the whole BRAC/Oceana Air Station thing going on, real estate prices are really screwy. They could end up paying a lot for something that is going to have to be condemned by the city in the next couple of years, or pay even more for something outside of the AFZs that might lose it’s value if the airbase closes completely. > > Besides, I lived in VB for years and never had a good thing to say about it. And we’re looking out Suffolk way anyhoo… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072/40 "2006-04-10T18:36:37Z")
Virginia Beach is so damned uptight anyway that they make Salt Lake City seem absolutely liberal in comparison. No kidding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unexpected-mmp/352072.md?page=3)