# The Unofficial Academy Awards Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 28, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206 "2005-02-28T00:18:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/241 "2005-02-28T23:31:35Z")
> [@LoganDear](#): > > Wrong. Some writers of books are ALSO writers for movies, Right. > [@](#): > > Hunter S. Thompson included. Wrong. Is there one entry on the IMDB that unequivocally cites him as a screenwriter? No. Based on novel. Special Material. Based on Book. Poetry excerpts. Based on stories. Special Thanks. He wrote for one medium. That medium was not film. He may have been consulted on occasion, he may have even done the occasional ghost-writing or uncredited assist. But he was never credited as “Screenplay by…” For that reason alone, there are dozens of other unacknowledged people much more worthy of inclusion than him. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/242 "2005-02-28T23:41:45Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Man, what an unbelievably crappy production. I mean, it usually is anyway, but this year’s seems the worst in some time. Forcing the winners of ‘lesser’ awards to make their acceptances _standing in the frickin’ aisles_, and the horrendous mangling of most of the musical numbers were especially egregious. And is there no one who can step forward to be a halfway decent host for this thing? Shit, I’m ready to suggest Bill Murray, I’m so desperate. Was it just me, or did the “set dressers” - or whatever they’re called - do a kind of crappy job? At least twice I saw people in black scurrying off the stage as the camera panned back towards it, and during one of the unimportant-awards-given-in-the-aisle there was a loud “thump” when, presumably, the set dressers dropped a set/prop a little bit too loudly. I think that giving awards in the aisle and “pageant show style” is incredibly stupid and needs to be dropped. Maybe they wouldn’t have a problem getting everyone on stage in a timely manner if they didn’t seat the documentary/short film nominees 100 feet farther away from the stage than Oprah was. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/243 "2005-02-28T23:47:27Z")
> [@Slacker](#): > > I didn’t see that as offensive at all. I didn’t see it as talking to black people about movies, I thought it was just talking to _normal_ people about movies. You could ask those questions in about any theater and get the exact same responses. (I teach high schoolers - and they all loved “White Chicks”) And all the normal people just happened to be black? ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/244 "2005-03-01T00:42:37Z")
> [@missbunny](#): > > I thought that was a weird comment - so, how many OTHER females have played boxers? > > “He’s the first man nominated for playing a rich pilot-movie mogul-turned-OCD sufferer!” Actually, [he’s not.](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0001673/awards) ---
**Author:** ![Selkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Selkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Selkie)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/245 "2005-03-01T00:47:13Z")
> [@Slacker](#): > > I didn’t see that as offensive at all. I didn’t see it as talking to black people about movies, I thought it was just talking to _normal_ people about movies. You could ask those questions in about any theater and get the exact same responses. (I teach high schoolers - and they all loved “White Chicks”) I’ve got to agree with Brynda on this one. I don’t recall exactly how Chris Rock introduced that segment, but it seemed extremely clear to me that he was making a racial issue out of which films received Oscar nominations (i.e., “white people” films get nominated, “black people” films do not). Note that the one person who had seen the Best Picture nominees was white, and everyone else who hadn’t was black. Both my Oscar buddy and I singled out that particular segment as one of the more egregious attempts to interject race in the program where it didn’t belong. Had that segment been part of an HBO stand-up routine, it might have been funny, or insightful, or something. In the context of the show it did appear in, it was just plain in bad taste. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/246 "2005-03-01T00:48:23Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > And that makes 12 million thank-yous for Martin Scorsese. He is on pace to pass the nation of New Zealand… Well, the country of New Zealand went home Oscar-less last year, too. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/247 "2005-03-01T01:03:52Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > And all the normal people just happened to be black? To be fair, Chris Rock went to the Magic Johnson theater, which is in the Crenshaw district, a predominantly African-American community here in El Lay. It’s no less silly than if he had gone to a Monterey Park theater and gotten a truckload of Asian folks on the camera. ---
**Author:** ![Kepi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kepi/32/7251_2.png) [@Kepi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kepi)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/248 "2005-03-01T02:52:23Z")
> [@Selkie](#): > > Note that the one person who had seen the Best Picture nominees was white, and everyone else who hadn’t was black. Just wanted to point out that the white person was Albert Brooks, so I’m pretty sure it was scripted as part of the gag. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/249 "2005-03-01T05:00:42Z")
> [@John Mace](#): > > It should also be noted that perhaps his death came AFTER the completion of that piece. You can’t expect then to include everyone who died up to one minute before the broadcast. What, getting a headshot, like some other non-actors in the montage? I was completely unsurprised he wasn’t in it, as he simply has no screenwriting credits. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/250 "2005-03-01T05:55:01Z")
These are the things that I say after watching the Oscars: Look at the faces that crossed my screen! Chris Rock! Halle Berry! Jay Z! Beyonce! Freeman! Cheadle! Foxx! All starring in the Film Industry’s 2005 Presentation of… “Say It Loud! Some of our Best Friends are Black and We’re Proud!” Mark me a disappointed Rock fan… that monologue was a stale sugar-free Twinkie, an affront to nature on too many levels. His swipes at Jude Law made no sense. Dude, we see him a lot because he’s a good actor people want to work with (the industry calls this pulling a Buscemi). More gauling to me was his hollow-headed riff to Hollywood executives never to cast anyone who isn’t an established star in a film. “If you can’t get a star, wait!” he chanted. Yeah, brilliant Chris. If only you’d been around when they cast Jamie Foxx in “Ray”, Charlize Theron in “Monster”, Audrey Hepburn in “Roman Holiday”, or Humphrey Bogart in “Casablanca”, movies would be SO much better. Later they paid tribute to Johnny Carson. Or rather, Whoopi Goldberg paid tribute to Johnny Carson. Whoopi Goldberg? That Whoopi Goldberg? What, Joan Embrey from the San Diego Zoo wasn’t available? David Brenner getting his nails done? Teresa Ganzel had a thing? I kind of like the way they mixed it up by having going into the audience to present some minor awards. I liked it less when they had other nominees lined up on stage in a row. I applaud the theory, but seeing all those guys in a row in tuxedos, I have to think ABC was hoping for a cross-promotion with “The Bachelorette”. Any minute Chris Harrison was going to walk out and explain how if Jen gave you a rose, you’ve won an Oscar. And the right to compete for a one-on-one date, unless Angelina Jolie gets to you first. Most painful moment: Adam Sandler “yukking” it up with Rock in one of the lamest canned bits I’ve ever seen. If Swank had come out in trunks and decked them both, I’d’ve given her a Lifetime Achievement award right there. I suspect Rock’s agent would have too. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/251 "2005-03-01T06:16:40Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > OHMYGODAREYOUKIDDINGME? > > She was the sexiest thing there last night! That dress rocked the house! It was like blue skin…her tits were absolutely jaw-dropping! > > Good gracious…check your eyes! I didn’t like it either. School marm in front, hooker in the back. I thought it looked terrible on her, as it would on most anyone I imagine. And could she have picked a more awful color? _Bleh_ ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/252 "2005-03-01T06:23:39Z")
Chris Rock was out of his element, although we can’t say he didn’t warn us with his comments about straight black guys never watching the Oscars…Chris obviously didn’t have a clue what his audience was expecting, and he simply did the worst thing any host has done since Letterman…he was very, very unfunny. What is up with Warren Beatty? Has he had a lobotomy? Same for Dustin Hoffman. Either both of these guys were totally blotto drunk/on drugs, or something is seriously wrong with both of them. I am normally a big fan of the Oscars, but this has to rank as one of the all time worst, boring shows I have ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/253 "2005-03-01T06:29:42Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > OHMYGODAREYOUKIDDINGME? > > She was the sexiest thing there last night! That dress rocked the house! It was like blue skin…her tits were absolutely jaw-dropping! > > Good gracious…check your eyes! I’m with everybody else. Nice material or whatever, but the neckline was at her throat. It looked dumb. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/254 "2005-03-01T07:40:41Z")
For all the grousing people have given Chris Rock, it looks like the producers were worried before the show that [he’d go really crazy and piss off half the nation](http://www.laweekly.com/ink/05/14/deadline-finke.php) (specifically, the half that voted for Bush): > [@](#): > > _L.A. Weekly_ has learned Rock will be tamer come Oscar night, but he will still crank up the political satire. According to LeRoi as well as people who’ve heard Rock trying out material recently, one Dubya joke is about the president’s intelligence, or lack thereof, and goes something like this (SPOILER ALERT): “Bush is not stupid. All you people who say that are wrong. You can’t be an idiot and get to be president. You gotta give the guy a little credit. Anyone that’s smart enough to get that far has got to be just _acting_ dumb.” > > No wonder the Red Staters are having heart attacks. These are the same rabid dogs, after all, who wouldn’t even let the Democratic presidential candidate speak ill of W. Now a comedian’s got a gig to do it in front of an audience of hundreds of millions. Rock is “the wrong host,” claimed Concerned Women for America (a.k.a. Conservative Operatives), “unless Hollywood wants to demonstrate how far out of touch it is with the rest of America.” > > We know their drill come Oscar time: _attack, attack, attack,_ and beat Hollywood into obedient silence. Maybe S&P had a serious talk with Chris before the show and demanded he crank down his act? ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/255 "2005-03-01T13:09:36Z")
I like how the L.A. Weeky thinks Concerned Women for America anybody’s spokespersons besides themselves. Hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/256 "2005-03-01T13:52:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Why is Beyonce singing everything? Did every other singer in Hollywood come down with laryngitis? All she’s doing is proving she doesn’t have the vocal range or strength to be singing these songs. Beyonce is the new Britney. Talentless and having little taste in dresses. That first dress looked like a Boca Raton Garden Club dress. The second dress looked like coffin liner bedecked in too many cheezy rhinestones (And the black eyeshadow :rolleyes: ) and the third dress made her hips stand out. She cannot even sing and has no range. Anyone else thing that **Prince** is playing a woman in drag? Shave off his facial hair (what there is of it) and you have a woman. Chris Rock was such a disappointment. The Angry Black Schtick is for comedy clubs, not a global audience. It lacked class. I had such hopes for him. Whoopi wouldn’t have done the Black/white thing. I want to host it next year and do a Crabby & White HouseWife schtick. Yeah, that would be funny. And I would interview housewives and what movies they’ve seen and they would all respond: None! I have kids and I can’t watch 97% of the flicks hollywood puts out with my kids because they are too violent, too much swearing or, most importantly, would dumb down my children. The other three perfect are from Pixar. I think **Ellen** would be an excellent host for the show. ---
**Author:** ![williamweigand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b3f665/32.png) [@williamweigand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williamweigand)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/257 "2005-03-01T14:47:45Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > Okay, Chris Rock finally had a funny comment, the line about next year they’ll get their Oscar’s in the parking lot. I must have missed Chris Rock saying that because I made a similar comment to my wife, noticed she was sleeping, and at about 9:20PM(EST) shut off TV and went to sleep myself. While sleeping, I dreamt that they were going to present an award from the sidewalk across from a house we used to live in. My reason for thinking, in this dream, that this was going to happen? A big TV on the sidewalk. ---
**Author:** ![jools](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@jools](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jools)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/258 "2005-03-01T16:19:10Z")
I rarely post here but I have to say this. Many of you liked Beyoncé first song from the French movie Les Choristes. As a French speaking person, it was the most horrible thing I have ever heard. THE WOMAN CANNOT SPEAK FRENCH. I barely understood what she said and I know the song. I had to ask people around if she was signing in French. Couldn’t they get someone who actually spoke French? They had a French singer (OK not the best mind you) in the front row, Vanessa Paradis (Depp’s girlfriend) and I can’t believe I’m saying that but Celine Dion speaks French! It was simply horrendous, and it is such beautiful song! ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/259 "2005-03-01T17:09:52Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Beyonce is the new Britney. Talentless and having little taste in dresses. I think Beyonce rocks. I don’t know about her singing all of the songs for the Oscars, but she is absolutely gorgeous and carries herself with a class that Britney could only dream about. She’s one of the few women on there who actually had any kind of a body to put a dress on. Most of the rest looked like twigs wearing strapless dresses. Blech. And when she smiles, it’s sincere. She doesn’t look like she takes all this fame for granted, she seems awed by it. Talentless? Puh-lease. ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/260 "2005-03-01T19:52:20Z")
The most exciting part of the night for me was seeing my dad’s cousin win his third oscar for sound mixing for “Ray.” At least this time, they didn’t cut his head off (he’s really tall, and he never gets to talk). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206.md?page=14)