# The Unofficial Academy Awards Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 28, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206 "2005-02-28T00:18:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/81 "2005-02-28T03:12:01Z")
> [@](#): > > The phrase “the dog’s bollocks” is used to describe something particularly good (yes, good) - something like “see that car - it’s the dog’s bollocks, so it is”. This in turn gives way to homonym phrases like “the pooch’s privates” or “the mutt’s nuts” which all generally mean the same thing. [http://english2american.com/dictionary/b.html](http://english2american.com/dictionary/b.html) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/82 "2005-02-28T03:12:51Z")
> [@ronincyberpunk](#): > > So does anyone know what the hell was up with the Chris Rock and Adam Sandler thing? It seemed totally fake, but it was so corny that it also seemed like it had to be planned. It was obviously planned, and the idea had promise: it _could_ have been funny, but it totally, totally wasn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/83 "2005-02-28T03:13:29Z")
Did that guy just bitch about how he’s not a technician but an artist because he didn’t like how he got his award? ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/84 "2005-02-28T03:14:14Z")
Wait, is that Antonio Banderas singing? Is there anything he _can’t_ do? ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/85 "2005-02-28T03:14:21Z")
I’m not paying full attention - why is that some awards are being given out in the aisle? Are the people being slow getting on stage? Are there a whole bunch of them and only some people fit? Why aren’t they just walking up there? Are the presenters running down to the aisle with the award? I don’t understand. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/86 "2005-02-28T03:15:14Z")
> [@yojimbo](#): > > The camera could just stay on Selma for the next two hours and I’ll be happy. It’s Salma. And I agree. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/87 "2005-02-28T03:16:28Z")
I’d like to thank the Latin[o] Quarter for supplying some much-needed sultry sexiness to tonight’s show… ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/88 "2005-02-28T03:17:22Z")
Well, I thoroughly enjoyed Antonio Banderas and Carlos Santana. What talent! ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/89 "2005-02-28T03:17:47Z")
Even if Al Pacino was shitfaced, couldn’t he at least used a razor _before_ he started his drinking? Was that Carlos Santana playing along to one of those nominated songs? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/90 "2005-02-28T03:19:14Z")
> [@yojimbo](#): > > Not a Brit but… > > Waking up to a blowjob is the dog’s bollocks. > > Anything that is very good can be the dog’s bollocks. > > Bollocks are balls BTW. The usual image is a boxer or a pit bull from behind with their big balls hanging. > > It wouldn’t be a problem on UK TV to say but would be about on the “shit” level of swearing. Thank you. I like the sound of it. I’ll have to start saying that. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/91 "2005-02-28T03:19:18Z")
I don’t think he was bitching so much as trying to point out that the awards should recognize the artistic decisons that go into employing the technical aspects of movies, rather than the more utilitarian “technical” aspects. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/92 "2005-02-28T03:19:28Z")
Natalie Portman is so pretty I cry. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/93 "2005-02-28T03:21:00Z")
Doh! The whole isle thing is terrible. Like the rest of the production if you ask me. The crap twee opening. The silly cuts to all areas of the theatre. The floor and ceiling projections/screens. Somebody was trying to be different this year and it just takes the whole shine off it IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/94 "2005-02-28T03:22:29Z")
Ahem, my post above was to **Biggirl**. ---
**Author:** ![Torgo\_ate\_my\_hamster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71c47a/32.png) [@Torgo\_ate\_my\_hamster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo_ate_my_hamster)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/95 "2005-02-28T03:25:15Z")
Rock cracked a joke about giving out the awards in the aisles. And it was funny. But why on earth did he have to do that crap with Sandler? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/96 "2005-02-28T03:25:40Z")
Okay, how exasperating can it be to win an Oscar with a partner who speaks first and talks like he just downed a bottle or valium and chased it with warm milk and chamomile tea. He reminded me of that turtle in the cartoons. Okay, Chris Rock finally had a funny comment, the line about next year they’ll get their Oscar’s in the parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/97 "2005-02-28T03:26:01Z")
For instance, this guy, right now, with the Polish accent - is he on the stage or in the aisle? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/98 "2005-02-28T03:26:54Z")
**Gangster** Yes, **Natalie Portman** has changed a _lot_ since she appeared with Jean Reno in “The Professional”. Maybe it’s just me, but is it taking about 5 minutes to post tonight? You see? The SDMB gets your money and _then_ they start slacking off on their service. ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/99 "2005-02-28T03:27:47Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > Wait, is that Antonio Banderas singing? Is there anything he _can’t_ do? Actually, last summer I saw him in a Broadway musical called **Nine** (for which he was nominated for a Tony Award). He was actually very good… and sexy! And have we already forgotten about **Evita**? Yeah, Natalie Portman looks like a Greek goddess. Damn her. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206/100 "2005-02-28T03:29:44Z")
I liked Rock’s comment about how ‘next year, they’ll be givin’ out awards in the parking lot.’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-unofficial-academy-awards-thread/292206.md?page=6)