# The very real stigma of living with a disclosed mental health condition (spin off of 7-Eleven watch thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2022, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154 "2022-12-07T16:56:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/21 "2022-12-09T00:04:41Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > Strong disagree. If my manager doesn’t know I have a problem, he can’t help me, and he is legally required to comply with ADA regulations regarding reasonable accommodation. > > He has to understand that I have less spoons than neurotypical people. Yeah. I think my view would be, on the balance, you’re not required to reveal any personal information other than you have a disability that requires accommodation. I don’t think legally they need to even know what your disability is. (Please someone correct me if I’m wrong.) In my case, I did not disclose a disability (PTSD and associated mental health disorders) until I actually needed a specific accommodation (personal leave during a portion of my pregnancy.) I probably went too far in getting a letter from my doctor disclosing my diagnosis. I have all new supervisors now who don’t know about my disability (though HR does). But if the flexibility around my schedule ever changes, something that is pretty critical to my success at work, I will have that in my back pocket if I need it. All of which is to say, you are not required to share private details about your depression like suicidal ideation. If they cannot provide reasonable accommodations they are in violation of the law. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/22 "2022-12-09T00:13:50Z")
I don’t have a lot of helpful advice to add. I just wanted to tell you to hang in there and keep fighting the good fight. You are loved. Please Pm me if you wanna talk ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/23 "2022-12-09T00:18:07Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > My grandfather was a great, great man, an educator. My father is a great woman, a former music minister. And I’ve done fuck-all with my life. I thought I’d be married with children by now, at the very least. I forgot to respond to this. My great grandfather (on Mom’s side) was carpenter and woodworking artist. My mom still has the corner chair he made and it’s pretty darn great. Great grand dad fled to this country after an incident with the Tsar’s soldiers. During a pogrom, he saw them trying to rape a woman. He defended her. He accidentally killed the soldier. This made it necessary to flee. Great grand dad spoke (OTTOMH) Yiddish, Hebrew, German, Russian, English and either Cantonese or Mandarin. My maternal grandma, his daughter, started from abject poverty. She built her way up to owning the neighborhood corner store. She could not afford insurance. It burned to the ground. Starting over from nothing, she built herself up to a new store and a nice rowhome. My mother is an absolute genius when it comes to antiques, collectables, and the care and raising of children. Starting from babysitting neighborhood kids, she worked up to owning and operating a state licensed day care. I’m 47. I feel I have accomplished little. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/24 "2022-12-09T02:22:22Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > > [@LSLGuy](#): > > > > An, e.g. warehouse, crew of 100 probably has 1 no-show every single shift and gets along OK. > > I know “warehouse” was just an e.g. example, but I couldn’t work in a warehouse. I thrive in customer service. And have lifting limitations. Understood. But being a retail worker at an e.g. large Wal\*Mart, Home Depot, Target or such would make you part of a larger crew that would not make you as subject to the pressure of “You must show up or [so-and-so] will be left alone!” and will be more an example of working for a big company with a big HR department than a small Mom-n-Pop with no desire to comply with the laws meant to protect you from the most exploitative aspects of US capitalism. And you can still be interacting directly with customers in the way that matters to you. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/25 "2022-12-09T02:59:05Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > All of which is to say, you are not required to share private details about your depression like suicidal ideation. If they cannot provide reasonable accommodations they are in violation of the law. I’d also like to point out that they don’t have to do _any_ accommodations unless you have actual ADA paperwork. I don’t know what your situation is, and maybe you do, but as part of getting that paperwork, they should also let you know exactly how much, and to who, you need to divulge your personal issues. If you have ADA paperwork saying that you need certain accommodations, your boss may not even need to know why, they just need to follow the accommodations called for. Disclaimer: My only personal experience with this is an employee giving me ADA paperwork telling me that she had to have her dog with her at work. As that’s not a problem, as all employees are welcome to bring a well behaved dog with them, I didn’t go too far into it. ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/26 "2022-12-09T15:34:57Z")
I hate that you had to admit to calling the crisis hotline in order to be taken seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2022, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154/27 "2022-12-09T21:49:11Z")
**ekedolphin** , I know so little about mental health conditions that I probably can’t comment wisely on what you are going through. But I do see you around the SDMB and I’m sorry that a valued member of our community is is distress. I wish I could sent you a Christmas card or a Christmas present or something, to cheer you up and help you not to cry. If you ever need to just chat let me know and I can sent you my number. I will put you on my list of those to pray for as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-very-real-stigma-of-living-with-a-disclosed-mental-health-condition-spin-off-of-7-eleven-watch-thread/976154.md?page=1)