# The Voice of God **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099 "2010-08-04T04:10:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/61 "2010-08-04T23:38:58Z")
For some reason I’d like to think he sounds like Gilbert Gottfried. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/62 "2010-08-05T00:54:01Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > > [@Yumblie](#): > > > > As king of the jews, He’d probably sound like Woody Allen. > > You know, this kind of thing bugs me. Why Woody Allen and not, say, Kirk Douglas? How is Woody Allen any more Jewish than Kirk Douglas? C’mon. Look at humanity and tell me with a straight face it’s not the creation of a simpering neurotic who’d marry his own step daughter. That’s why not Kirk Douglas. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/63 "2010-08-05T00:56:41Z")
> [@QuanSu](#): > > Marlon Brando. > > “I’m going to make them an offer they can’t refuse”. > > Goose bump. [nitpick]DON’T refuse.[/nitpick] ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/64 "2010-08-05T01:58:20Z")
Brian Blessed. I’m surprised no one has mentioned him already. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/65 "2010-08-05T05:16:44Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > > [@Alessan](#): > > > > You know, this kind of thing bugs me. Why Woody Allen and not, say, Kirk Douglas? How is Woody Allen any more Jewish than Kirk Douglas? > > C’mon. Look at humanity and tell me with a straight face it’s not the creation of a simpering neurotic who’d marry his own step daughter. That’s why not Kirk Douglas. How about we settle on Groucho Marx? ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/66 "2010-08-05T05:40:49Z")
Well, I voted for Alan Rickman because well, as far as I am concerned, the man is a god. The first person I thought of, though, was James Mason. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/67 "2010-08-05T06:14:20Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Alternatively, God talks to me in my own voice. The doctor says that it isn’t God, but he can’t hear the voice so how would he know? As in [_24 Hour Party People_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfXzvCrn9c): > [@](#): > > [_Tony Wilson has just had a vision of God - who looked exactly like Tony Wilson_] > **Tony Wilson:** Well, it’s written in the Bible, isn’t it? ‘God made man in His own image’. > **Rob Gretton:** Yeah, but not a _specific_ man. > **Tony Wilson:** No… But if you’d have spoken to Him, He would have looked like you. But you didn’t — I did. And he looked like me. > **Rob Gretton:** [smoking a joint] Fucking top gear, man. Or maybe God just sounds like a double of Steve Coogan playing Tony Wilson. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/68 "2010-08-05T07:34:31Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > Brian Blessed. I’m surprised no one has mentioned him already. But God can’t sound like Henry VIII! That’s just _wrong!!!_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/69 "2010-08-05T07:44:27Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > > [@BigT](#): > > > > A generic, deep, old man type voice. Kinda like the typical Santa voice when he says “Ho ho ho.” And not when whiny old Father Christmas says it, either. > > The Jolly Green Giant is your VOG? That’s funny. 😃 I think it’s from some plays I saw at church as a kid. That’s just the voice everyone does. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/70 "2010-08-05T09:44:16Z")
Easy one: Don Knotts. _"Nip it! Nip it in the bud!!_ mmm ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/71 "2010-08-05T10:08:42Z")
God doesn’t speak, as such - he just sounds like a Mac start-up. And you know, you just _know_ something joyous is happening… ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/72 "2010-08-05T10:14:46Z")
Ron Perlman - _“It’s pagan slaughtering time!”_ ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/73 "2010-08-05T10:15:34Z")
Alan Rickman, OK. “By Grabthar’s Hammer, I am the Lord, thy God.” But I’d prefer God to sound like Jerome “Chef” McElroy. "Hello, there, children. Let me sing you a little song. _I’m gonna make love to you woman. Gonna lay you down by the fire."_ ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/74 "2010-08-05T13:41:28Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > Brian Blessed. I’m surprised no one has mentioned him already. I dunno, he seems more like a pagan god than like Jehovah. I can picture Prince Vultan as a Norse deity… ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/75 "2010-08-05T20:46:09Z")
Orson Welles. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/76 "2010-08-05T21:22:35Z")
…and Raymond Burr. James Earl Jones takes it by a country mile though. ---
**Author:** ![QuanSu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c37758/32.png) [@QuanSu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuanSu)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/77 "2010-08-05T23:02:38Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > > [@QuanSu](#): > > > > Marlon Brando. > > > > “I’m going to make them an offer they can’t refuse”. > > > > Goose bump. > > [nitpick]DON’T refuse.[/nitpick] Um, according to [this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AFI%27s_100_Years..._100_Movie_Quotes), it’s “can’t”. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/78 "2010-08-05T23:11:41Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > [@Steophan](#): > > > > Brian Blessed. I’m surprised no one has mentioned him already. > > I dunno, he seems more like a pagan god than like Jehovah. I can picture Prince Vultan as a Norse deity… Fair point, although the OP doesn’t specify which god! Thor would be my personal choice. ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/79 "2010-08-06T04:35:20Z")
Damn. Almost 80 posts and nobody has come to realize that… [LEMMY](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvGpX2A-WAQ)\*IS \*[GOD](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiRYsp6MfT0)?!?! I can’t believe you people had to hear this from me. I had such faith in y’all. For the fans: You get about 17 seconds of _Bomber_ as a tease. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-voice-of-god/549099/80 "2010-08-06T06:32:00Z")
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