# The Volcano god is apparently angry - who are we going to sacrifice?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 20, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717 "2010-04-20T05:40:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/21 "2010-04-20T12:35:28Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#):
>
> Sarah Palin. Sure, she’s not a virgin, but how will we know that volcano gods actually demand virgin sacrifices unless we put the Virgin Sacrifice Hypothesis to the test? Science demands answers!
I vote we cover the entire spectrum - Sarah Palin AND Hillary Clinton. Yeah, we might give the volcano a raging case of indigestion, but it would be worth it.
---
### Author:  [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/22 "2010-04-20T12:39:08Z")
Relax, fellow travelers and volcanophiles! I have _just the thing_.
This volcano god(dess) is mad about something, and what does he or she do? Grounds airplanes. _European_ airliners. Something about this volcano doesn’t want European air travel to make money.
And it hungers for a virgin.
We need someone bold and brave to step up and take one for the team. An _adventurer_. Preferably a “virgin,” who makes a tonne of money from European air travel.
Ladies and gentlemen of the Dope, I propose we send it [Richard Branson](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_branson).
.
---
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/23 "2010-04-20T12:43:54Z")
> [@RalfCoder](#):
>
> I vote we cover the entire spectrum - Sarah Palin AND Hillary Clinton. Yeah, we might give the volcano a raging case of indigestion, but it would be worth it.
How about the current administration, and all members of both houses of Congress?
We can add Greenpeace, PETA, Al Qaeda, the loony Iranian clerics that said female promiscuity causes volcanic eruptions and Adoph Ahmade(whatever the hell his name is), Babs Streisand, Sean Penn and his butt-buddy Hugo Chavez, and anyone else who torques me off. I don’t care that any of them are not virgins, I’ll just be glad to be rid of them all.
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/24 "2010-04-20T12:51:20Z")
Just out of curiosity we ought to toss in Abe Vigoda and see what happens. There’s no way he can be killed so something will happen right beforehand to save his bacon, probably the eruptions will magically quit and Europeans can start flying again. Then we’ll ship Abe to Afghanistan to wipe out the Taliban and then he can come back here and ride around strapped to the front bumper of a bunch of Toyotas.
---
### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/25 "2010-04-20T12:52:59Z")
> [@RalfCoder](#):
>
> I vote we cover the entire spectrum - Sarah Palin AND Hillary Clinton. Yeah, we might give the volcano a raging case of indigestion, but it would be worth it.
No, no. In the spirit of bipartisanship, we throw in Sarah Palin and Joe Lieberman. One failed Republican vice-presidential candidate, one failed Democratic vice-presidential candidate.
---
### Author:  [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/26 "2010-04-20T12:56:45Z")
> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> How about the current administration, and all members of both houses of Congress?
>
> We can add Greenpeace, PETA, Al Qaeda, the loony Iranian clerics that said female promiscuity causes volcanic eruptions and Adoph Ahmade(whatever the hell his name is), Babs Streisand, Sean Penn and his butt-buddy Hugo Chavez, and anyone else who torques me off. I don’t care that any of them are not virgins, I’ll just be glad to be rid of them all.
We may need another volcano…
---
### Author:  [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/27 "2010-04-20T13:07:49Z")
Chuck Norris.
I’m not looking to off him because we all know who would win that fight unscathed.
---
### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/28 "2010-04-20T13:15:18Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#):
>
> No, no. In the spirit of bipartisanship, we throw in Sarah Palin and Joe Lieberman. One failed Republican vice-presidential candidate, one failed Democratic vice-presidential candidate.
I see no problem with this.
Palin could still keep and eye on Russia (just from underneath) and Joe could finally Green the environment.
---
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/29 "2010-04-20T13:21:23Z")
> [@dhkendall](#):
>
> Chuck Norris.
>
> I’m not looking to off him because we all know who would win that fight unscathed.
Pair Chuck with Abe Vigoda. Or Abe Vigoda and Keith Richards.
---
### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/30 "2010-04-20T13:27:32Z")
> [@Lars\_Aruns](#):
>
> Italian here, remember? I hope I am allowed to offer our own political class for the common good 🙂
Ah, so I did remember correctly after all! My utmost apologies, I did check your location because I wasn’t 100% sure and it threw me off. I sure should know better, given how I bounce up and down the map!
Maybe we can just toss the whole gang in?
---
### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/31 "2010-04-20T13:30:22Z")
How about the family member who updated his facebook status saying that he’s “surprised the Global Warming/Climate Change loons haven’t jumped all over the Volcano in Iceland, especially to push…what is it?..the 40th anniversary of ‘Earth Day’.”
---
### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/32 "2010-04-20T13:51:14Z")
> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> Pair Chuck with Abe Vigoda. Or Abe Vigoda and Keith Richards.
Or just Richards. He should have enough residual chemistry to stone the whole island solid.
---
### Author:  [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/33 "2010-04-20T14:15:21Z")
People, people! We’re trying to _appease_ the volcano god, not piss it off further! We need to be thinking along the lines of Jewel Staite and Michael Palin - people it would actually _want_!
---
### Author:  [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/34 "2010-04-20T14:27:47Z")
> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> Pair Chuck with Abe Vigoda. Or Abe Vigoda and Keith Richards.
Keith’s nostrils would solve all of our problems.
---
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/35 "2010-04-20T14:32:58Z")
> [@Smeghead](#):
>
> People, people! We’re trying to _appease_ the volcano god, not piss it off further!
If we throw in enough undesirables, the volcano gods will quit out of disgust.
😛
---
### Author:  [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/36 "2010-04-20T14:51:04Z")
How 'bout Dakota Fanning? She’s probably still pure.
---
### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/37 "2010-04-20T14:53:07Z")
> [@Smeghead](#):
>
> People, people! We’re trying to _appease_ the volcano god, not piss it off further! We need to be thinking along the lines of Jewel Staite and Michael Palin - people it would actually _want_!
All of Europe can walk before I’d give up those two.
---
### Author:  [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/38 "2010-04-20T14:56:59Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#):
>
> Sure, Britney Spears would have made a great choice way back when, but **the little man in that boat** sailed a long time ago.
Fixed it for ya 😃
---
### Author:  [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/39 "2010-04-20T15:35:34Z")
People, people, let’s be reasonable.
The obvious answer is **Starving Artist**. It’s already angry and it’s head has already exploded.
What could go wrong?
You know you want to agree with me.
---
### Author:  [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717/40 "2010-04-20T16:32:54Z")
Nobody voting for bankers? If my Dad were alive, he’d be voting for bankers. Well, actually, he’d be saying they should be lined up against the wall and shot, but if he could unclench, he’d vote for the volcano.
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717.md?page=1)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-volcano-god-is-apparently-angry-who-are-we-going-to-sacrifice/536717.md?page=3)