# The War On Bears begins! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2006, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434 "2006-04-20T07:07:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/1 "2006-04-20T07:07:21Z")
> **[The world’s platform for change](https://www.change.org)** > > Change.org is the world’s largest petition platform, using technology to empower more than 200 million users to create the change they want to see. Colbert has led the way, now we must follow. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/2 "2006-04-20T07:14:26Z")
Dude, I am sooooooo signing that petition. Getting attacked by a bear really changes your perspective on the Godless killing machines. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/3 "2006-04-20T07:17:12Z")
It’s about time someone did something about those damn pic-a-nic basket thefts. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/4 "2006-04-20T12:19:14Z")
:eek: [sub]Excuse me while I go hide.[/sub] :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/5 "2006-04-20T12:21:01Z")
_We’re here! We’re queer! We don’t want any more bears!_ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/6 "2006-04-20T12:27:05Z")
I signed. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/7 "2006-04-20T13:22:59Z")
Anyone here read “The Last Flight of Dr. Ain”? 😉 I’ve been in favor of this ever since Bears Discovered Fire. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/8 "2006-04-20T13:45:24Z")
I signed. Bears are _sneaky_. They pretend to be all cute and cuddly, and then when you get too close they rip your throat out. Kind of like rabbits, only rabbits don’t rip your throat out unless they’ve mutated, but they’re cute and cuddly like bears, and then the Attitude comes out and suddenly you’ve got nerve damage in the tip of your finger where the little bugger gnawed through to the bone. And then they do that thing where they sit up and wash their face and look all innocent like “What? What’d I do? Aren’t I cute! Don’t you just love me to pieces!” and there’s nothing you can do except go get your finger stitched up because do you really want your kids to see you punt the cute fuzzy bunny across the room? Wait, what’s this thread about again? ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/9 "2006-04-20T14:42:44Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > :eek: > > [sub]Excuse me while I go hide.[/sub] > :eek: I’ll bring Jayjay along and we can all hide together. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/10 "2006-04-20T14:44:18Z")
Now-now-now. Let’s not be hasty. Let’s try a Honey & Pic-A-Nic Basket embargo, first. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/11 "2006-04-20T16:36:50Z")
A petition against bears? Oh, bother. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/12 "2006-04-20T16:40:46Z")
I signed. My mind knows that bears are more afraid of us than we are of them, but my gut tells me that they’re a murderous, America-hating menace that we have to destroy before they destroy us. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/13 "2006-04-20T16:44:33Z")
Well, I support the right to arm bears. So there! I find it interesting that the pics on that page don’t match the ad and there is a pic of sperm just above Paris Hilton’s head. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/14 "2006-04-20T17:23:41Z")
Pshhhh, let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/15 "2006-04-20T17:52:51Z")
> [@supervenusfreak](#): > > I’ll bring Jayjay along and we can all hide together. WOOHOO! Looks like hiding out is gonna be fun! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/16 "2006-04-20T18:00:23Z")
Will I have to hide my tat when I’m out and about? > [@swampbear](#): > > WOOHOO! Looks like hiding out is gonna be fun! 😉 At least you guys will keep me safe, right? ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/17 "2006-04-20T18:07:05Z")
Can’t we just domesticate them like dogs, cheetahs and whales? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/18 "2006-04-20T18:07:22Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > Will I have to hide my tat when I’m out and about? > At least you guys will keep me safe, right? Well, I’d keep ya, but I don’t know how safe you’d feel. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/19 "2006-04-20T18:11:26Z")
You know, it’s frivolity like this that is really going to undermine the effectiveness of internet petitioning. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434/20 "2006-04-20T18:21:38Z")
::follows **swampy** , and everyone else:: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-war-on-bears-begins/353434.md?page=2)