# The Weturn of Pwincess Pwecious **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 22, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095 "2002-08-22T16:37:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/21 "2002-08-22T23:55:31Z")
Guin, I can’t imagine what kind of sicko would suggest such a thing. I remember Lucy Maud Montgomery weighing in on that old wives’ tale, way way back in _Anne’s House Of Dreams_. How could anyone **not** talk baby talk to a baby? Of course, I also can’t imagine anyone talking baby talk to an adult. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/22 "2002-08-23T00:04:42Z")
My family usually doesn’t talk baby talk to the babies. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/23 "2002-08-23T00:13:02Z")
If I had children, I’d speak to them exclusively in Klingon. That’s if I knew Klingon. Where’s the fun in having kids if you can’t turn them into quivering masses of neuroses and nervous tics by the time they’re eighteen? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/24 "2002-08-23T00:39:24Z")
You don’t talk baby talk to your kids - you baby talk to you puppy-wuppies and kitty-poopsies!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/25 "2002-08-23T02:04:25Z")
Eve, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve got to put up with the Co-Worker With The Really Great Sense of Humor. At least it must be great, because she finds _everything_ hilarious, even if it is not meant to be\*. And someone taught her to laugh by saying "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Frequently it is necessary for her to pound any nearby hard object to express particular merriment. So it’s a constant stream of "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-haaaaah! WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM! All day long. We are begging for a soundproof door to wall off our department and preserve sanity. \*She once was subdued for nearly 24 hours. Root canal. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/26 "2002-08-23T02:50:25Z")
People are naturally inclined to talk baby talk to babies. Most people think talking like an adult to a baby feels funny and watching it is odd. Even if you don’t go all out the pitch of your voice increases as well as some other changes. This is assuming you aren’t a baby hating monster who just scowls and tries to figure out how to grab them to sell to the nearest troll. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/27 "2002-08-23T03:03:31Z")
Thank you for yet another reminder of why I didn’t do pediatrics. As I said in my [rotation reviews](http://www.thejtrain.net/rotations.html) on my [web site](http://www.thejtrain.net), regarding my Outpatient Pediatrics rotation: > [@](#): > > The Bad: Pediatricians have this amazing ability to be wonderful, intelligent, competent people outside the exam room, yet turn into drooling idiots when they see a baby. “Oh, you’re just the CUTEST little thing! Yes you are! You’re a big boy, aren’t you? Yes you are! Yes you are!” \ ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/28 "2002-08-23T03:07:29Z")
I don’t talk baby talk to Aaron, and neither do my parents. It’s true that he’s the center of my universe, and my parents’ universe, and Airman’s universe, but I don’t expect the rest of the world to give a wet slap about him. That being said, this woman sounds like she has the brains of a gnat. Boiling oil is a waste of good oil. Robin ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/29 "2002-08-23T03:13:12Z")
**DoctorJ** – Perhaps you can confirm for me that there is a high occurrence in women who have recently given birth – and who employ the baby voice vocal technique – to develop extraordinary stuttering shortly after returning to their employment ? I can’t quite seem to find it in the British Medical Journal but I think it was termed bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-bwa-by twalk syndwome. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/30 "2002-08-23T03:24:56Z")
Pretty much no one in my family does that baby talk crap. That’s how you speak to pets, not people. Even if the people in question are less housebroken than the pets. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/31 "2002-08-23T04:34:32Z")
I speak grown-up talk to the babies and baby-talk to **Gunslinger** , the latter only in private and well-aware of how silly it is to be doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/32 "2002-08-23T13:31:40Z")
I would mind if Hew Majesty talked _about_ her baby—others in the office go on about their kids, pets, families, and I put the “I’m interested” look on my face. It’s _how_ she talks! Everything she says, from computer debugging advice to her cutsey-ootsey baby to when’s the next issue due, is spoken in the voice of a cartoon chipmunk! Her cubicle is decorated as if she were the unholy offspring of a Smurf and a Keebler elf . . . When I think of what her home must look like—Kleenex cozies, clown paintings, the most unbearable of baby accessories—I thank my lucky stars I’m a bitter old spinster lady. So, who’s for helping me fire up the cauldron? ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/33 "2002-08-23T13:56:03Z")
That depends… what’s the boiling point of baby oil? ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/34 "2002-08-23T15:10:51Z")
Nahhh. Use peanut oil. Sure it’s unhealthy, but she’ll taste better. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/35 "2002-08-23T16:49:00Z")
Eve, if you’d like to stop being a bitter old spinster lady, we could send you Matthew for a few days. It would cure your bitter for a day, then you’d just be a homicidal old spinster lady. What? ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/36 "2002-08-23T16:59:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*Where’s the fun in having kids if you can’t turn them into quivering masses of neuroses and nervous tics by the time they’re eighteen? \*\* Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/37 "2002-08-23T17:46:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MLC \* > \*\*That depends… what’s the boiling point of baby oil? \*\* Well, are you using **extra virgin baby oil** or not? ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/38 "2002-08-23T18:06:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamandi \* > \*\*Nahhh. Use peanut oil. Sure it’s unhealthy, but she’ll taste better. \*\* . . . and sacrifice aesthetics for flavor? Well, I suppose either way it’s a matter of taste. . . **Oxy** - You just can’t beat the clarity and color of the extra virgin stuff, but the regular has such body!! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2002, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/39 "2002-08-23T18:18:56Z")
I dunno . . . She’s so sickly-sweet right now as it is, what’s the best oil for frying sugar? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/40 "2002-08-24T01:27:10Z")
**Eve** -forget oil. You want pure lard for this. Or Butter Flavored Crisco. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095.md?page=3)