# The Weturn of Pwincess Pwecious **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 22, 2002, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095 "2002-08-22T16:37:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/41 "2002-08-25T17:13:32Z")
Aw Eve, how awful for you. You need to relax and unwind, maybe watch a movie. Something with Kaye Francis, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/42 "2002-08-26T00:03:29Z")
For some reason I’m hearing a Seinfeld episode: (nasally voice) “Elaine! You gotta come see the **_BAY_-BEE**!” ---
**Author:** ![Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dread_pirate_jimbo/32/3897_2.png) [@Dread\_Pirate\_Jimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dread_Pirate_Jimbo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/43 "2002-08-26T04:10:36Z")
Just so you know, in a linguistics course I took a few years ago, we learned that “caretaker speech” probably does assist babies to learn language. From one of my text books (Contemporary Linguistic Analysis, 1st Edition, by William O’Grady and Michael Dobrovolsky): > [@](#): > > [Caretaker speech] addressed to young children has special properties that could well heighten its comprehensibility. Phonologically, for example, caretaker speech is known to consist of clearly articulated utterances with pauses between phrases and exaggerated contours to signal questions, imperatives, and statements… It seems reasonable to suppose that exposure to this type of language makes it easier for children to match forms (morphemes, words, and phrases) with meanings, and thereby to acquire the vocabulary and structure of their language. Most adults, however, don’t need to be talked down to in that manner. Anyone who’s talking baby talk to an adult needs a good stiff smack on her wittle arse. Yes she does! Yes she does! ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/44 "2002-08-26T07:14:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OxyMoron \* > \*\* Well, are you using **extra virgin baby oil** or not? \*\* Is this the oil coming from the first pressing of freshly pulped babies, due entirely to the weight of the stones in the press,and not dependent on chemical extraction? ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/45 "2002-08-26T07:55:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Otto \* > \*\*Aw Eve, how awful for you. You need to relax and unwind, maybe watch a movie. Something with Kaye Francis, perhaps? \*\* I’m thinking that something with Carol Kane would be _perfect_! ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/46 "2002-08-26T14:02:08Z")
I talk babytalk to my husband (sing-song voice/on) “Hooooonnnnnneeeeyy! I’m on the Kissssssiiiinnnnggg Step!” (sing-song voice/off). But it’s really funny because he bears a strong resemblence to Gandolf the Gray. Most people laugh instead of gag. That said, I’m wondering…does Pwecious have a voice like Melanie Griffith? Waaaaaaay too cutsie for me! Shoot 'er up with some steroids so she drops a few octaves! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/47 "2002-08-26T14:34:42Z")
Pwetty much . . . Only more annoying. Like if Melanie Griffith and a cartoon chipmunk got caught in one of those machines from _The Fly_. Otto—Har! Where but the SDMB do people make Kay Fwancis jokes? ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/48 "2002-08-26T15:26:01Z")
**Eve** , I can honestly say I feel your pain, only because I have my own Pwincess Pwecious staying _at my house_. She’s a friend of my roomie, and she DRIVES ME NUTS. She speaks French to my cats, and calls them cutesy things, all in that little-girl-with-a-doll voice. I wouldn’t really mind the French, except A.) I have no clue as to half of what she’s saying, and B.) that voice is going to make me lose it. She seems to be a very nice girl, but DAMN. If I wake up and hear her doing the French baby-talk to my cats one more time, I may have to kill her. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/49 "2002-08-26T15:42:00Z")
Do you think they’re space aliens, these creepy baby-talk girls? or androids, like Talking Tina? When we least expect it, we’ll hear, “My name is Pwincess Pwecious, and I’m going to kiww 'oo!” ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/50 "2002-08-26T15:46:28Z")
I think that the sing-song intonations and such are good. It’s the mispronunciation of words that is bad. And replacing words with made up words. AGGGHH!!! A friend of mine’s kid talks about “coco water” (hot water) and all sorts of other made up stuff. Why do people do that to their kids? You’re supposed to be modelling the language so they can learn to speak it properly! As for the Pwincess, why not just spray her down with Pam and point a blow-torch at her? It’s less messy. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/51 "2002-08-26T16:05:49Z")
I don’t think the Pam will be necessary—she’s already sugar-coated . . . ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/52 "2002-08-26T18:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > That said, I’m wondering…does Pwecious have a voice like Melanie Griffith? Someone noted that Melanie like to curse, but not like you and I. She doesn’t want a “fucking hot dog.” She wants a “hot fucking dog” or a cappa-fucking-chino. She may have a little girl voice, but she does use adult language! ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/53 "2002-08-26T20:00:28Z")
Sugar-coated, my ass. Sounds to me like she’s dripping with honey, syrup, AND molasses, all contained within a pastel-colored candy shell. (Do we have a barfing smiley? We really need one.) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/54 "2002-08-29T14:17:19Z")
Some bozo has brought his _toddler_ to work today, for what reason I can’t imagine. So the Pwincess has made a beeline to her, and the two are communicating on a level playing field. Toddler: “ooogggeewooggeefooggee!” Pwincess: “Ooooh, awen’t she dee pwettiest wittle ooogie woogie!” Toddler: “ooogggeewooggeefooggee!” [wanders into my cubicle] [Eve transfixes toddler with her gimlet-eyed glare of doom] Toddler: “WWWAAAAHHHH!” ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/55 "2002-08-29T14:24:12Z")
Cleosia said, “Someone noted that Melanie like to curse, but not like you and I.” Fuckin’A! ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/56 "2002-08-29T15:19:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **Some bozo has brought his _toddler_ to work today, for what reason I can’t imagine.** Yeah, it’s called “work” not “daycare center”! People bringing children along (usually during weekend overtime) has been so much a problem here that the section head (boss’s boss’s boss) emphatically declared that any employee bringing their children to work without permission will be dealt with severely. The one day children are allowed here is on the Bring Your Kids to Work Day. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/57 "2002-08-29T15:32:31Z")
I wouldn’t mind, if he took the brat into a conference room or an empty office and read to her or kept her occupied . . . But she is toddling around the office crying and babbling and everyone seems to think she’s just fucking _adorable_. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/58 "2002-08-29T15:39:31Z")
Well, yeah, if the kid is kept somewhere out of the way and unable to damage anything but you know that can’t happen. The parent just has to make sure _everyone_ can get a good look at the kid, even those of us who couldn’t care less. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/59 "2002-08-29T15:48:53Z")
We just got this e-mail: “Due to weather conditions, our annual picnic has been moved to the conference room. The afternoon festivities include lunch from noon to 2 p.m. We will have clowns, a caricaturist and games to entertain the kids from 12:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.” Toddlers! Clowns! No doubt there will be MIMES, and balloon artists!! They’ll infect the building and multiply like roaches. I won’t be able to open a filing cabinet without a clown leaping out at me . . . Someone get me some morphine . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095/60 "2002-08-29T15:53:59Z")
Dear God, Eve! **MIMES** I always heard New York was tough but I had no idea. Of course, this is why we pass out guns at the Virginia border. Keeps down on the riff raff. You know the sort: petty vandals, muggers, clowns, children that aren’t mine… That sort of thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-weturn-of-pwincess-pwecious/125095.md?page=4)