# The whole "abstinence only" thing seems to be going well. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2005, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280 "2005-03-19T06:06:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/21 "2005-03-19T19:57:58Z")
> [@laigle](#): > > Note to self: date more girls who are pledged to abstinence. Freaky technicality sex rules! No shit! I wish they had these pledges when I was going to high school and college. Sweet, sweet technicality sex. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/22 "2005-03-19T20:35:55Z")
Dear Ann Landers, I’m a sexagenarian who sings in a sextet that is part of the church choir. One of the church employees said that I can be excommunicated for this. But he is only the sexton and this doesn’t involve a rector and certainly not a primate. Am I in trouble? Closed-mouthed in Buxom City ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/23 "2005-03-19T21:50:16Z")
Didn’t young adults and /or teens have a lot less sex before marriage back in the 50’s? No pledges were made, it was a more conservative time. Maybe there are so many std’s around nowadays because more young people are having sex? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/24 "2005-03-19T22:04:56Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > After all, if a teen is a regular attendee of a church that unequivocally preaches that sex outside of marriage is immoral, then s/he is more likely to abstain to begin with, than a teen with no church affiliation. If my experience growing up in a very conservative church is any indication, that’s not a safe assumption ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/25 "2005-03-19T22:23:26Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Didn’t young adults and /or teens have a lot less sex before marriage back in the 50’s? No pledges were made, it was a more conservative time. Maybe there are so many std’s around nowadays because more young people are having sex? It’s quite possible, but it’s damned hard to come up with any reliable numbers from that period. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/26 "2005-03-19T22:24:28Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Didn’t young adults and /or teens have a lot less sex before marriage back in the 50’s? No pledges were made, it was a more conservative time. Maybe there are so many std’s around nowadays because more young people are having sex? Ha! That’s a good one. That’s only what the prudes want us to think. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/27 "2005-03-19T22:31:32Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Didn’t young adults and /or teens have a lot less sex before marriage back in the 50’s? No pledges were made, it was a more conservative time. Maybe there are so many std’s around nowadays because more young people are having sex? Perhaps, but it’s because they were marring earlier. Judging from [teen pregnancy rates](http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0193727.html), there were more teens having babies in 1950 than today - almost twice as many. But you’ll notice that the percentage of \*unwed \*teenage pregnancy has skyrocketed. This is because while a higher percentage of girls were pregnant as teenagers in 1950 than in any year since 1970, more of them were married when they delivered. I’d say the “pledge” made then was a marriage vow, instead of a celibacy vow. They were still doin’ the nasty, they were just trapped into marriage if they got pregnant. Of course contraception and legal abortions have affected these numbers greatly as well. But I personally know at least a dozen friends parents who “had to get married” in the 60’s and even 70’s. From what my grandmother\* and Hollywood tells me, the pressure was even worse in the 50’s. \*who maintains she was a virgin at her wedding at the age of 17 ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/28 "2005-03-19T22:50:13Z")
Re the Concerned Scientists article: That really is criminal. Strongarming the CDC to cover up the failure of a program that’s putting kids at risk, and continuing to push the program. And the 12 Angry Men wanted to impeach Clinton for diddling an intern! Bush ought to be impeached for this offense alone! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/29 "2005-03-19T23:07:47Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Perhaps, but it’s because they were marring earlier. > > Judging from [teen pregnancy rates](http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0193727.html), there were more teens having babies in 1950 than today - almost twice as many. But you’ll notice that the percentage of \*unwed \*teenage pregnancy has skyrocketed. This is because while a higher percentage of girls were pregnant as teenagers in 1950 than in any year since 1970, more of them were married when they delivered. So they’re going to have sex no matter what we do. Does anybody really want to go back to trapping people into marriage? I honestly think all these really young marriages (within the last 30 years) contributes to the high divorce rate. Often people change drastically between 17 and 27. If they’re going to have sex _anyway_, we need to teach them the facts, not a ridiculous “Just Say No” campaign. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/30 "2005-03-19T23:32:05Z")
Anal sex with blonde, bright-eyed Bible Belt virgin girls. Sweeeeeeet. ---
**Author:** ![Sample\_the\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Sample\_the\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sample_the_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/31 "2005-03-20T01:07:05Z")
Hey now, **Evil** , don’t go getting us disappeared or anything. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/32 "2005-03-20T04:16:29Z")
Aren’t these the same folks who filled their arguments _against_ sex with “facts” like you can get pregnant from masturbation ( :dubious: I should have gotten myself knocked up years ago, then.) and that HIV can be spread via sweat (Sen. Bill Frist said so, and he’s a doctor! :rolleyes: Okay doc, where’s Patient Zero, then? )? I really _hate_ the absinence only crowd. Much better to give kids all the facts and then let them make their own decisions on the matter. You know, that way they can be responsible adults when they grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/33 "2005-03-20T04:31:07Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Didn’t young adults and /or teens have a lot less sex before marriage back in the 50’s? No pledges were made, it was a more conservative time. Maybe there are so many std’s around nowadays because more young people are having sex? I can’t speak for sure of the 50’s, although there was a lot of talk among boys of my age about what older brothers were doing with girls, some of which may have even been accurate. But by the early 60’s (before the Swinging Sixties started in say 1964), there was probably **a higher** percentage of teens having sex than today. (Unfortunately, I don’t speak from personal experience, but as a rather at-the-time-dejected observer of the scene.) ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/34 "2005-03-20T04:39:12Z")
Abstinence only: get your anal warts while they’re hot! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/35 "2005-03-20T04:49:31Z")
We can’t give teenagers information and access to condoms and such! They’ll _use_ them! My friends and I certainly did. We made water balloons out of the condoms. There were plenty left over for their intended use. > [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Aren’t these the same folks who filled their arguments against sex with “facts” like you can get pregnant from masturbation ( I should have gotten myself knocked up years ago, then.) and that HIV can be spread via sweat (Sen. Bill Frist said so, and he’s a doctor! Okay doc, where’s Patient Zero, then? )? Please tell me you are joking. Please. I’m going to be stuck in boggle mode for some time otherwise. > [@](#): > > I really hate the absinence only crowd. Much better to give kids all the facts and then let them make their own decisions on the matter. You know, that way they can be responsible adults when they grow up. Many of them seem to fear that pure, innocent teenagers, who had no thoughts of sex in their minds before, will immediately become raging lust machines if given alternatives to abstinence. I would laugh, but it’s not funny. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/36 "2005-03-20T05:49:42Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > Please tell me you are joking. Please. I’m going to be stuck in boggle mode for some time otherwise. Nope, I’m _not_ joking. You really should watch _The Daily Show_ they got a great deal of fodder out of the videoclips. (Especially the one of James Carville claiming to be “somewhat of an expert on masturbation.” ::shudder:: ) > [@](#): > > Many of them seem to fear that pure, innocent teenagers, who had no thoughts of sex in their minds before, will immediately become raging lust machines if given alternatives to abstinence. I would laugh, but it’s not funny. Speaking as someone who didn’t get his “cherry popped” until he was 19, I can categorically state that abstinence _does not_ prevent one from being a raging lust machine. It just makes it very difficult for one to satisfy their lust. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/37 "2005-03-20T06:05:46Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Nope, I’m _not_ joking. You really should watch _The Daily Show_ they got a great deal of fodder out of the videoclips. (Especially the one of James Carville claiming to be “somewhat of an expert on masturbation.” ::shudder:: ) If I’d known this earlier, I would have worked harder on getting Comedy Central to come in clearer. > [@](#): > > Speaking as someone who didn’t get his “cherry popped” until he was 19, I can categorically state that abstinence _does not_ prevent one from being a raging lust machine. It just makes it very difficult for one to satisfy their lust. I agree completely. It took me until that age to find someone I actually wanted to have sex with, beyond what seemed a normal, undefined sort of horniness. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/38 "2005-03-20T09:56:55Z")
So, does anybody else think the abstinence-only crowd, since they are a bunch of fundamental Christians anyway, should actually read the bible? Especially the bits about polygamy and being an adult at age 13? Because then they might realize that teenagers have been having sex for _thousands of years_, so stopping this tendency might prove slightly difficult. And if the research quoted in the article is correct, and 99% of people who don’t make abstinence pledges have sex before marriage, your cause might be kinda fucking hopeless, no? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/39 "2005-03-20T10:38:30Z")
> [@](#): > > “Kids who pledge abstinence are taught that any word that has ‘sex’ in it is considered a sexual activity,” Unruh said. “Therefore oral sex is sex, and they are staying away.” Yes. They are staying away from oral sex because it has the word SEX in it. But these kids are all over “blowjobs” and “doin it up da butt” Like I always say, there’s no “sex” in bukkake? heh heh. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280/40 "2005-03-20T10:45:48Z")
It is very common in cultures where there is a lot of emphasis on female virginity/hymens for girls to have anal sex for years before they actually have vaginal. Given the greater risks of anal sex - and the fact that young people are LESS likely to use a condom for anal sex (because pregnancy is a more immediate concern for them than STDs, and you can’t get pregnant up the bum) - is this really where True Love Waits wants to be heading? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-whole-abstinence-only-thing-seems-to-be-going-well/295280.md?page=3)